Well Done Son

Congratulations to my Son for achieving 'Star of the Week' at his school. Daddy is very proud of you and chuffed to bits!

Optimism

Firstly, I am glad that I can type. I am glad that I can spell and that I have the confidence to put my thoughts into words. I've been able to do this since I was very young. I had a typewriter from a very young age and very quickly learnt how to use it. By the time I reached my mid-teens, I had an electronic typewriter and soon after that a very basic (by today's standards) word processor. For all my life, I have never been too far from a keyboard and to do so would most probably cause me to have another breakdown. The keyboard is my output and a vessel by which my thoughts pour like water onto a page. A lot of what I type, particularly here in my blog, I don't talk about openly. People around me tend to go about their lives either oblivious to what's going on around them or prefer to keep their thoughts or worries to themselves. This is fine, they have more important things to think about. I don't request an audience. I consider myself fortunate if anyone else finds my thoughts the remotest bit interesting. My blog is my way of recording my thoughts, and I hope that sometime in the future, by way of it, my son will better understand his father.

I was asked recently whether I am optimistic, about anything. I quickly replied that I am not. In fact I see no future beyond the next day. Of course the reason for this primarily is my financial situation and not knowing where we will be in a month or two from now. But in general, I do find myself fearing for the future - especially for my son and other young people. On the one side, there is the worsening economic situation and the worry as to whether there will be jobs for everyone or whether people who are lucky enough to work can afford housing. On the other side, there is what I see as a worrying escalation in conflict around the world and where the current disputes might lead.
I do think it is inevitable that we will see some form of military escalation in Iran and possibly Syria. I of course would prefer a diplomatic outcome but with each day that passes I think this becomes less likely. The involvement of China and Russia and their opposition to a military response in Iran or Syria will I think send us down one of two paths. The first would be for the Western forces to back down faced with a possible Chinese or Russian military standoff or for the West to attack Iran and intervene in Syria and face the consequences. Some would argue that Russia is in fact supporting the Syrian regime's attack on its own people as they continue to supply arms in the face of mounting condemnation. The estimated $1 billion trade in arms is simply too valuable to Russia and they would not stand by and see this taken away from them.
As for China, there are already rumblings on the Internet that they are preparing for possible military conflict and despite knowing relatively little about their precise capabilities, it would be wrong to assume that their response would be anything but massive.
And then there's Israel and their apparent threat to be preparing an attack on Iran's nuclear facilities to take place in the coming months assuming the US don't do it first.
All of this makes for a very dangerous situation. The cost of oil has risen in recent days due to the embargo on Iranian crude oil exports and Iran's refusal to supply EU member states. The prospect of rising fuel costs on top of a weakening economic situation could have dire consequences here in the UK pushing living standards to a critical level.
I've always been very pessimistic, but the situation as I see it is one that is fast nearing crisis proportions. Unless a last minute solution can be found to the situation in Iran and Syria, then I fully expect to see a new Middle East conflict by the end of this year. The outcome of this conflict will depend ultimately on whether or not it could be contained. My guess is that it would not.
The coming months will be critical in deciding the path taken. Of course we have very little or no influence whatsoever on the outcome. We can only hope and pray that common sense will prevail coupled with a realisation that any fire lit in the Middle East would spread way beyond the borders of Iran and Syria.
2012 will certainly be a decisive year, whatever happens.

Things I Like to Open

• A new jar of coffee, especially breaking the gold seal.
• A spindle pack of blank DVD's or CD's.
• A new blank VHS cassette. Still possible, but not for much longer I suspect.
• A new jar of jam and hearing the safety lid pop.
• A new tin of coffee whitener.
• A new box of teabags and taking a long deep sniff.
• A new packet of freshly ground coffee - ditto.
• Any type of parcel.
• A new ream of paper.

Photo of the Day 24

Shrove Tuesday = pancakes! My turn to make them this year and we had two types, lemon and sugar and chocolate... Yum yum.

RIP MSTS001

I lost one of my computers this afternoon. It had been playing-up for sometime and had become very unreliable. Despite my efforts to discover the root of the problem, MSTS001 (its network identity) finally expired leaving my without a DVD writer and a lot of valuable data. I really hate losing a computer. I used to have seven all doing different things. My wife cannot understand the fuss but to me its like losing a friend. We become attached to computers. After all, we spend a great deal of time with them and we grow to know them and understand their little quirks. We arrange the desktop in a particular way and we know where to find things. The bond is palpable and when it's broken it really is a wrench. Now, having accepted MSTS001's demise, I set about trying to limit the damage. Luckily, I had an identical unit which I didn't use as much as MSTS001. In fact I used it just for scanning, browsing and updating my blog. Being the same machine, I was able to transplant the innards from MSTS001 into it, the data intact on the hard drive. I was also able to substitute the CD reader for the DVD writer. With the lid back on I pressed the power button and sat fingers crossed while my new creation booted. I half expected a blue screen of death or at least an error message or two. Instead, it booted perfectly. Hurrah! Another crisis averted. All that's left of MSTS001 is a carcass. I expect some of it will come in useful for spares. I'll just add it to my growing heap...

Photo of the Day 23

With a little help from Daddy, my son is hoping I'll have this built and ready in time for next Christmas...
Much thanks to Mummy for having bought it (discounted from £10 to £4 at Morrisons... I wonder why?)

Forcing Myself

There are days when I don't feel like doing much. These days are wasted, I know that and some would say that every day should be lived to the full and that once they're gone, they're gone. Fine, but if your heart really isn't in it, then is it worth it? I often have to force myself to do things. It's normally the starting that's the problem, a bit like getting out of bed. It's the getting out that is the major hurdle. The walk to the bathroom then comes naturally and gradually energy and motivation increases. Well that's the theory. For someone suffering depression, it's often impossible to get past the first hurdle. The motivation simply isn't there and it can be a constant struggle to get things done, for yourself or for others.
Yesterday was one of those days when I should have done more, but I didn't. The day started well enough taking my wife to work for 8am and driving my mum into town for her Saturday morning shop. But that seemed to exhaust my motivation reserves and I spent the remainder of the day doing very little apart from searching for music I wanted for my collection on the Internet. On a Saturday afternoon, I would normally visit my friends and Godparents to my son. I tend to spend a few hours there either chatting or working on a huge model railway layout I'm building. I usually treat it as me-time and in that respect it's always valuable to me as a form of escape from the usual stresses, worries and strains of life. It actually does me the world of good. But, as with everything, I have to be in the mood or the right frame of mind. Yesterday I was not. To make matters worse, it was my friend's Birthday on Friday and apart from sending a message on Facebook, I haven't visited.  I shouldn't worry too much, they forgot my Birthday last year.
This morning I felt much the same. I didn't feel like doing anything much and really didn't want to go out. Instead, my wife encouraged me to go swimming. She could tell that I wasn't interested and she knows me well enough to be used to my wavering interest and motivation. She also knows that when I get there, I appear to enjoy it. I prefer to think that I simply get on with it, for the sake of others.