Marking the 29th of February

I simply had to post something to mark this leap year, 29th February 2012, seeing as it doesn't occur very often. I don't think the day will be remembered for anything spectacular apart from encouraging news from North Korea and James Murdoch resigning as CEO of News International.
Sadly, Davy Jones of Monkees fame died today at the age of just 65, the victim of a heart attack.

This means nothing to me but there is an algorithm believe it or not to explain the occurrence of a leap year, as follows;

if year modulo 4 is 0
   then
       if year modulo 100 is 0
           then
               if year modulo 400 is 0
                   then
                       is_leap_year
               else
                   not_leap_year
       else
           is_leap_year
else
    not_leap_year

Bailed Out

Everyone seems to be bailing out someone or something. It's become the phrase of the moment - bailout. First the banks were bailed out, an act required to prevent an economic crisis here in the UK. Northern Rock was the first and our memories are of customers queueing for hours on end to withdraw their savings fearing they would be lost. Then of course it was the bigger banks, Lloyds and famously RBS which, questionably, form part of the country's foundations.
In Europe, we hear about Greece being bailed-out by the European Central Bank and being lent obscene amounts of money in the mistaken hope that it will all one day be paid back. A similar fate awaits Spain and Portugal.
Nearer to home and I hear from my friends that they have had to bailout their son who has been served a huge solicitor's bill for a short consultation and a handful of letters. This is money he simply doesn't have and once again his parents come to his aid, bailing him out and putting pay to any prospect of a threatened 8% interest charge.
And then there's myself and I've forgotten how many times over the last year or so when I've had to be bailed out. The latest bailout was courtesy of my in-laws who lent us the money for a new car.
It seems that wherever we look, people and companies are being bailed out. I suppose you could argue that it is in fact rescue, saving people, organisations and even countries from a fate worse than debt. But surely any bailout is simply delaying the inevitable. Or is the alternative so bad to contemplate that to not bail out would itself be deemed wreckless?
My own doctor's opinion is to simply accept that there are people all around us prepared to help, to bail us out. This was his response to my recent plight, to simply accept the fact that I couldn't do anything about it and accept charity from whatever source possible. The fact that it made me feel bad to have to go cap in hand to people wasn't important. It was help and it simply had to be accepted.
I fear that recent events both nationally and internationally will eventually give rise to a feeling generally that no matter the problem, there is always the option of a bailout. Will this make people less responsible as a result and are our children to learn that debt needn't be such a problem? I learnt things the hard way. I had a very good salary and became complacent, not having to worry about bills and direct debits. They just got paid each and every month. I also borrowed and thought nothing about paying it all back or the consequences of paying just a little each month. But I was lucky, I chose to insure everything and little did I know back then just how important that monthly premium payment would be. But although I fell ill, I don't absolve myself of my errors. I made huge mistakes and had a childlike attitude towards money. I knew very little about how credit actually worked and chose to live for too long beyond my means. But it can't go on forever and when your income stops, not only do you have to worry about the day to day things, there's the money you've borrowed also.
If anything, I regret not learning more about money at school. The reality was that this was never taught to us. The closest we came to understanding money was by selling jacket potatoes during break times and using our profits to buy more potatoes.
At least now I have the opportunity to ensure that my own son doesn't grow up with a similar lack of appreciation for money, credit and debt. I know what it's like when it all goes wrong. Of course he's oblivious to it all at the moment, and that's the way it should be. He's too young to understand. But before he's able to borrow and manage money of his own, there are lessons I will definitely share with him. I just hope that greater awareness can help him avoid similar mistakes.

Seven Years

Today is our wedding anniversary. Seven years ago, I married the woman I wanted to share the rest of my life with. I recall the nerves very well. I recall also the love and affection shown by family and friends and the feeling of being the centre of everyone's attention for just one day. And how quickly that day went, the reception speeches, the excellent food, the partying 'til late and the taxi home arriving as man and wife. I don't know where the seven years have gone. They have flown past. Things have changed of course. Little did we know back then that we would be in the situation we are now. We have a son who we love more than anything. Our relationship is often tested to its limit and there have been times when it's felt at risk. But if anything, the bond is stronger now than it has ever been. I'm a nightmare to live with, I know that. My wife deserves better, I know that too. The truth is that without my wife, her strength and support, I wouldn't be here now. My wife said recently at a counselling session that I am no longer the person she married seven years ago. I was a little taken aback by this, but on reflection I believe she does see a different person. Depression does this. But deep inside, I'm still the same person who fell in love with her and still loves her, more than I show.

Well Done Son

Congratulations to my Son for achieving 'Star of the Week' at his school. Daddy is very proud of you and chuffed to bits!

Optimism

Firstly, I am glad that I can type. I am glad that I can spell and that I have the confidence to put my thoughts into words. I've been able to do this since I was very young. I had a typewriter from a very young age and very quickly learnt how to use it. By the time I reached my mid-teens, I had an electronic typewriter and soon after that a very basic (by today's standards) word processor. For all my life, I have never been too far from a keyboard and to do so would most probably cause me to have another breakdown. The keyboard is my output and a vessel by which my thoughts pour like water onto a page. A lot of what I type, particularly here in my blog, I don't talk about openly. People around me tend to go about their lives either oblivious to what's going on around them or prefer to keep their thoughts or worries to themselves. This is fine, they have more important things to think about. I don't request an audience. I consider myself fortunate if anyone else finds my thoughts the remotest bit interesting. My blog is my way of recording my thoughts, and I hope that sometime in the future, by way of it, my son will better understand his father.

I was asked recently whether I am optimistic, about anything. I quickly replied that I am not. In fact I see no future beyond the next day. Of course the reason for this primarily is my financial situation and not knowing where we will be in a month or two from now. But in general, I do find myself fearing for the future - especially for my son and other young people. On the one side, there is the worsening economic situation and the worry as to whether there will be jobs for everyone or whether people who are lucky enough to work can afford housing. On the other side, there is what I see as a worrying escalation in conflict around the world and where the current disputes might lead.
I do think it is inevitable that we will see some form of military escalation in Iran and possibly Syria. I of course would prefer a diplomatic outcome but with each day that passes I think this becomes less likely. The involvement of China and Russia and their opposition to a military response in Iran or Syria will I think send us down one of two paths. The first would be for the Western forces to back down faced with a possible Chinese or Russian military standoff or for the West to attack Iran and intervene in Syria and face the consequences. Some would argue that Russia is in fact supporting the Syrian regime's attack on its own people as they continue to supply arms in the face of mounting condemnation. The estimated $1 billion trade in arms is simply too valuable to Russia and they would not stand by and see this taken away from them.
As for China, there are already rumblings on the Internet that they are preparing for possible military conflict and despite knowing relatively little about their precise capabilities, it would be wrong to assume that their response would be anything but massive.
And then there's Israel and their apparent threat to be preparing an attack on Iran's nuclear facilities to take place in the coming months assuming the US don't do it first.
All of this makes for a very dangerous situation. The cost of oil has risen in recent days due to the embargo on Iranian crude oil exports and Iran's refusal to supply EU member states. The prospect of rising fuel costs on top of a weakening economic situation could have dire consequences here in the UK pushing living standards to a critical level.
I've always been very pessimistic, but the situation as I see it is one that is fast nearing crisis proportions. Unless a last minute solution can be found to the situation in Iran and Syria, then I fully expect to see a new Middle East conflict by the end of this year. The outcome of this conflict will depend ultimately on whether or not it could be contained. My guess is that it would not.
The coming months will be critical in deciding the path taken. Of course we have very little or no influence whatsoever on the outcome. We can only hope and pray that common sense will prevail coupled with a realisation that any fire lit in the Middle East would spread way beyond the borders of Iran and Syria.
2012 will certainly be a decisive year, whatever happens.

Things I Like to Open

• A new jar of coffee, especially breaking the gold seal.
• A spindle pack of blank DVD's or CD's.
• A new blank VHS cassette. Still possible, but not for much longer I suspect.
• A new jar of jam and hearing the safety lid pop.
• A new tin of coffee whitener.
• A new box of teabags and taking a long deep sniff.
• A new packet of freshly ground coffee - ditto.
• Any type of parcel.
• A new ream of paper.

Photo of the Day 24

Shrove Tuesday = pancakes! My turn to make them this year and we had two types, lemon and sugar and chocolate... Yum yum.

RIP MSTS001

I lost one of my computers this afternoon. It had been playing-up for sometime and had become very unreliable. Despite my efforts to discover the root of the problem, MSTS001 (its network identity) finally expired leaving my without a DVD writer and a lot of valuable data. I really hate losing a computer. I used to have seven all doing different things. My wife cannot understand the fuss but to me its like losing a friend. We become attached to computers. After all, we spend a great deal of time with them and we grow to know them and understand their little quirks. We arrange the desktop in a particular way and we know where to find things. The bond is palpable and when it's broken it really is a wrench. Now, having accepted MSTS001's demise, I set about trying to limit the damage. Luckily, I had an identical unit which I didn't use as much as MSTS001. In fact I used it just for scanning, browsing and updating my blog. Being the same machine, I was able to transplant the innards from MSTS001 into it, the data intact on the hard drive. I was also able to substitute the CD reader for the DVD writer. With the lid back on I pressed the power button and sat fingers crossed while my new creation booted. I half expected a blue screen of death or at least an error message or two. Instead, it booted perfectly. Hurrah! Another crisis averted. All that's left of MSTS001 is a carcass. I expect some of it will come in useful for spares. I'll just add it to my growing heap...

Photo of the Day 23

With a little help from Daddy, my son is hoping I'll have this built and ready in time for next Christmas...
Much thanks to Mummy for having bought it (discounted from £10 to £4 at Morrisons... I wonder why?)

Forcing Myself

There are days when I don't feel like doing much. These days are wasted, I know that and some would say that every day should be lived to the full and that once they're gone, they're gone. Fine, but if your heart really isn't in it, then is it worth it? I often have to force myself to do things. It's normally the starting that's the problem, a bit like getting out of bed. It's the getting out that is the major hurdle. The walk to the bathroom then comes naturally and gradually energy and motivation increases. Well that's the theory. For someone suffering depression, it's often impossible to get past the first hurdle. The motivation simply isn't there and it can be a constant struggle to get things done, for yourself or for others.
Yesterday was one of those days when I should have done more, but I didn't. The day started well enough taking my wife to work for 8am and driving my mum into town for her Saturday morning shop. But that seemed to exhaust my motivation reserves and I spent the remainder of the day doing very little apart from searching for music I wanted for my collection on the Internet. On a Saturday afternoon, I would normally visit my friends and Godparents to my son. I tend to spend a few hours there either chatting or working on a huge model railway layout I'm building. I usually treat it as me-time and in that respect it's always valuable to me as a form of escape from the usual stresses, worries and strains of life. It actually does me the world of good. But, as with everything, I have to be in the mood or the right frame of mind. Yesterday I was not. To make matters worse, it was my friend's Birthday on Friday and apart from sending a message on Facebook, I haven't visited.  I shouldn't worry too much, they forgot my Birthday last year.
This morning I felt much the same. I didn't feel like doing anything much and really didn't want to go out. Instead, my wife encouraged me to go swimming. She could tell that I wasn't interested and she knows me well enough to be used to my wavering interest and motivation. She also knows that when I get there, I appear to enjoy it. I prefer to think that I simply get on with it, for the sake of others.

A Small Victory

I had some good news yesterday. I finally heard back from the Financial Ombudsman regarding a dispute I had with a credit card company. I had originally lodged the complaint over a year ago and wasn't that optimistic but they finally ruled in my favour ordering the credit card company to write of my debt and reinstate my credit rating. I'm really very pleased with the outcome.
The whole situation had arisen from a PPI claim I had with them following my breakdown and inability to work. Although they were ware of my circumstances and the fact I had a PPI policy in place, they defaulted my account and passed it to a debt collection agency. This was after weeks of harassment and calls at all hours of the day and night causing much distress and anxiety. All my letters and requests were either ignored or disregarded. In the end I had no option but to refer the matter to the Financial Ombudsman, though I had very little faith that they would see that I was in the right.
So I am proof, if any is needed, that it is possible to stand up to the banks and win!

My Mobile History

For as long as I can remember, I've always had a mobile phone. I'm not a heavy user and never have been. I've sent probably two or three texts and hardly ever receive any calls. I remember very well how in the early 1990's, the mobile phone began to emerge as a must-have executive toy, much like the laptop did. I recall my manager at work getting one and seeing it forever in his hand and placed in front of him at team meetings. It was a status symbol, much like a badge of rank. Marketing people did a similar thing with laptops. They simply had to have one and it would be carried everywhere - to lunch, to meetings and to exhibitions. But seldom were they ever used - or even charged come to that - I know that from experience.
Back then of course, phones were relatively bulky but soon began to get smaller and being in one of the UK's largest companies at the time, we were amongst the first recipients, our mobile contract anxious to sell us the latest models. I remember quite well my first mobile phone. Back then there were only two networks and coverage was by no means anywhere near 100%. It wasn't even 50%. If you got a signal, you were lucky. I joined a network that wasn't truly digital. It was called CellNet and run at the time by BT. I had an analogue mobile phone. I recall it well, a Bosch with a flip open microphone and antenna you pulled out. It was smart and spoke 'Star Trek' every time I used it. How sad I was then to have left it on top of my car and driven off only for it to fall onto the road behind me and under the wheels of a truck. It was a short union sadly, and I miss my first phone deeply. Nothing since has managed to come close to its appeal.
Nowadays of course, mobile phones are akin to mini computers. The phone element of the device has been pushed to oneside making room for HD video, games and 10 mega pixel photography. How amazing it is that in just a few years, these devices have been transformed. Yet despite my fascination with these devices, I am not under their influence unlike much of the population it seems. I can happily be apart from my phone and though it goes with me when I leave the house, I would only ever think of using it in an emergency. I must frustrate my mobile network provider enormously. I have the same number I had way back then, insisting I keep it for use on my pay as you go tariff. It's one of the original numbers and I'm more attached to it than the phone. Yet it's seldom ever used. The love affair with the mobile phone never really took off, and probably never will. I'd much prefer a pager. I used to have one at work years ago and still have a couple knocking round the house. I preferred them as you could respond as soon as it was convenient rather than feeling compelled to answer there and then. It didn't cause you to swerve across the road as you fumbled to answer it. You could simply read the message on the display when you reached your destination or pulled over. But those days are gone, sadly.

Whatever Next...?

I was horrified to read a report in our local Spalding Guardian today that a sheep has actually been butchered in an open field in Spalding. What makes this all the worse, as if it could be, is that the sheep was pregnant and all its four feet had been removed along with some of its innards. How absolutely appalling. Have we really allowed our society to go full circle and return to the days of barbarism and savage acts of wilful depravity? The carcase will no doubt be doing the rounds locally being offered for sale to someone idiot enough to buy it with no questions asked. What they won't know is that the sheep was pumped full of medication to assist it through the lambing phase. This makes it totally unfit for human consumption. It seems the sheep has had the last laugh, well bleat....

Catch these inhuman, savage and feral idiots and lock them up for good.

Just Not Quite News

On this day of loss, it's worth remembering that we don't know everything. What I mean is that there is much going on everywhere, but we only know about things we hear about in the media. The big news stories of the day and front page headlines are the sum total of our awareness of events around us. What is today's news will soon be consigned to history. Take for instance the Costa Concordia and the plight of those who perished, unable to get out fast enough trapped below deck, some still to be found. What has happened? Is the ship still there? Did they find everyone? And what of the captain? The only way to find out these things is to troll the Internet or to find an Italian newspaper report. It would seem we are no longer interested. Unless the ship sinks beneath the waves or breaks in two, we'll hear no more about it. It is old news, no longer of any interest. But I'm still interested.
People, those who are familiar to us and those who are not pass away every day. We don't hear about them. Even those who have given so much, starred in so many films, appeared on so many stages, and those who's voices are familiar, pass away quietly, unreported. A case in point is Frederick Treves.

His name will nothing to most people, but look at his photograph and straight away scenes from Miss Marple, Poirot. The Jewel in the Crown, The Naked Civil Servant and countless other dramas and films will spring to mind. Simply enter his name in the Internet Movie Database and you'll see he is credited with starring in many of the best films ever made.He was quite simply a superb and highly talented actor.
I would not have known about his passing until the next roll call of the deceased at the BAFTA's. I'm always shocked to see someone has passed on, and that I'm the last to know about it. Would Frederick's passing be reported if there was no other news? I somehow doubt it. It probably doesn't score highly enough. It's so sad. So I now find myself relying more and more on the likes of Wikinews and other sites for my news, the news I want to know about, and the news that matters to me. I wonder if I'm alone? I doubt it, sadly.