Thinking-Up Titles

I did think we would have to call off today's Group meeting as so few were able to attend. A combination of things were responsible for this morning's low turn-out and it was left to myself and two other group members to make the most of the time we had in the relative warmth and convenience of our venue.
Despite there being just the three of us, we did manage to while away the time talking about various issues that either troubled us, interested us or gave us cause for concern. In fact when we get going, we can often talk for hours.

I do seem to be in a better frame of mind today. The last couple of days have been quite stressful and I do feel as if things are settling down a little. There is still the complaint to deal with, currently residing with NPower but I'm hopeful we will be able to come to some kind of arrangement. Frankly, we'll have to.
I have been a little troubled by dreams. Mine are vivid and it's unusual if I don't dream each night. This is a side-effect of the Mirtazapine medication I am on and its sedative properties. The dreams are rarely joyful and positive experiences. Mostly they involve me being in some kind of office environment, often closed-in and suffocating. I am almost always in a position of varying responsibility but in almost all cases, I am responsible for something that goes wrong. This produces a strong feeling of guilt and failure that will often seep from my dream state into my conscious state and can stay with me for as much as a whole day afterwards.
I dare say those who as well as me believe in some symbolic connection between dreams and real life will agree that there is a link between the events in my sleep and failings in my past. This is pretty obvious. The clarity of the dreams and the real feelings they produce is something I find both interesting and troubling.

We are told we are heading out of the freezing weather period we have been experiencing here in the UK for the last couple of weeks. Here is the East, we are forecast to see a final parting gift tomorrow night of several inches of prolonged heavy snow which is anticipated to make Saturday morning 'challenging'. As with all forecasts, I tend now to take them with a large pinch of salt especially as we haven't seen anywhere near the amount of snow that has been forecast up to now. If it's as bad as the forecast predicts, I will post a photograph here on Saturday.

As I type this, shouts of excitement and schoolboy fun filter over my Herb Alpert and Friends LP. My son has his friend over to play and it sounds as though they are battling it out on the Wii ably refereed by my wife. I wrote of my 'wasted' trip to NHS Bracebridge Heath on Monday. It transpires that the meeting had been previously cancelled due to lack of interest but my original acknowledgement hadn't been passed-on to the organiser. The upshot is that I have received an apology and kind offer of reimbursement for my travel expense, which is nice. Despite the obvious clerical error, I do actually have tremendous respect for the people organising the meeting. The work they do and their motives for arranging the meeting in the first place are entirely Honourable. I have asked them to contact me when another meeting is arranged as they, like me, are keen that it should still go ahead. Any discussion regarding mental health services in Lincolnshire has to be a priority.

I'm quite looking forward to a few hours to myself tomorrow. I already plan to record an entry for my audio journal. I do though have a diabetic clinic appointment at 1.30 which I'm not looking forward to. My blood glucose levels are often a lot higher than they should be despite trying to maintain a low sugar diet. I think I may already know what the outcome will be.

It's strange. I find I can write about things very easily but the hardest part of maintaining a blog is thinking-up a title for each post. In fact, it often takes me longer to think up the title than it does to type the whole post entry!

My Moodscope score today is 51%

Final Thoughts on Savile & More Volunteering

The extent of the alleged abuse perpetrated by Jimmy Savile has been made public in a report published today. Though we've known for some months of the crimes claimed to have been committed by the late presenter and personality, one cannot fail to be shocked by the details that have emerged. Jimmy Savile is dead and cannot answer for his crimes and it should be remembered that these are allegations and though there is no reason to doubt any of the testimonies, they cannot be proved.
Good has to come out of something like this. There have clearly been major failings that allowed the alleged abuse to carry on unchecked and unchallenged. The warnings voiced by certain individuals were ignored. The question being asked by so many people is 'why?'. It is difficult to understand how nothing was done, with the most recent opportunity lost in 2009 when the Crown Prosecution Service dropped a case against him, clearly failing in their duty.
Hopefully there will be a greater emphasis from now on to investigate rumours and allegations and to take children seriously.

This afternoon I responded to a plea sent out from SHINE Lincolnshire for volunteer PEAT (Patient Environment Action Team) inspectors. Apparently they are very short of volunteers, who's role it is to go visit inpatient hospital departments and inspect levels of cleanliness and hygiene among other things. As with most things nowadays, there is no reward apart from having expenses paid, but there's always the possibility of it leading to something more concrete.

I had my pre-diabetic clinic blood test this morning. I always have to take a wee sample with me which they check there and then. Unsurprisingly they found sugar in it so it's been sent off to be analysed at King's Lynn QEII Hospital. They very kindly booked me a diabetic clinic appointment for the 25th, a Friday. I expect I will be advised to move onto an injectable form of medication rather than the (many) tablets I currently take each day.

As 2012 Draws to a Close...

I'm feeling quite good with myself at having managed to get through a family gathering yesterday without having scratched my arms and rubbed my hands until they bled. This is due in part to the half bottle of gin I took with me which definitely got me through and masked me from the constant talk of football and who scored what and when. I should feel hung-over this morning, but I actually feel fine. Gin doesn't have a lasting effect with me and it's a drink I have learnt to use for its medicinal effects.

Coffee is something I received a lot of this Christmas. I have a nice new container in which to store it and as I type this the smell of freshly filtered coffee is drifting into my office and over my desk. I also received some very nice chocolate (diabetic) from Thorntons and a bag of utterly delicious Brazil nut toffee, again diabetic. I fear that it won't last very long before it is all eaten.

My son is still very much in a Christmas mood. He returns to school a week tomorrow, but this is a distant thought as he creates new and exciting worlds with his Lego and Imaginext castle. He is still in the grip of a Chicken Pox infection with a few spots visible on his face. It doesn't seem to have caused him much harm thankfully and he views it simply as a minor inconvenience. He had a bath the night before last in Dead Sea salts which are supposed to help heal the spots. Their effect also was to send him into a deep sleep a few minutes after he had rejoined me on the sofa.

Today is the first day of the festive period that actually feels what it is - Sunday. We've decided to stay at home today save a brief excursion to the local Co-Op earlier for some essentials and some fresh rolls for lunch.
It's not even mid-day and I've already this morning put some air in the car tyre and fixed the patio door handle, which every three of four months manages to work itself loose. I think I've done quite well.

My thoughts turn to the Group and our forthcoming meeting on Tuesday. We're planning on having bacon sandwiches and baps for the first time. My colleague should be joining me there despite having crashed her car a few days ago. I'm hoping she will have a courtesy car else I'll need to give her a lift.

Looking back on the past year I am thankful and somewhat relieved that we have survived to see another Christmas. This is due in no small part to my wife's budgeting expertise and our diplomacy with creditors and the bank, aided of course by our guardian angels, the Spalding Citizen's Advice Bureau. I don't wish to predict where the coming year will take us, I prefer to live a week at a time. I do however hope that we manage to secure funding for the Group and that I manage to find some kind of paid work, that I'm able to cope with. If nothing else, provided 2013 remains as stable as 2012, then I'll be quite happy. Anything else will be a bonus.

Photo of the Day 5

This photo was taken this morning at the Long Sutton Medical Centre here in Lincolnshire. The Diabetic Retinopathy Screening vehicle visits at least once a year and my father and I have our eyes photographed to make sure there is no damage to the blood vessels. Any damage can be an early indication of possible blindness so it's very important to attend regularly.

Because the weather is getting more and more freaky at the moment, I've included a bonus photo. This was taken mid-afternoon and shows a storm front as it worked its way down from the north-west. A wall of cloud literally turned the blue winter sky an orange-grey and brought with it strong winds and horizontal rain.