Meeting Coco

A return to normal today with a Group meeting where we met 'Coco' for the first time. Coco is a Chiwawa puppy, just a few weeks old and belongs to my very dear friends and Godparents to my son.

She is simply adorable and the smallest dog I've seen. It was clear that the Group members were very taken with her and in no time she had become the focus of their attention. My son particularly enjoyed meeting her and thoroughly enjoyed his time with the Group today.

On my drive back home from the Group, I was struck by the number of potholes that have appeared between Long Sutton and Spalding. Some of them could do real damage if driven over and it is very clear to me that our roads locally are in need of urgent attention. So come on South Holland District Council... do something before these potholes cause an accident.

I bought a couple of rather nice books today. My library was having a book sale and many of the titles appeared to be new and unread. I managed to procure a book cataloguing every recorded UFO sighting and another on the subject of countryside railways, containing some wonderful photos of trains in various locations around the UK. Both books were just 60p each, which I thought to be a bargain.

2012 was officially the second wettest year on record. I can't say I'm surprised given the amount of rain we had since April when the hosepipe bans begun to be lifted. Today has been the first dry day we've had in weeks and we're not due any more significant rainfall for the foreseeable future. Despite this, it is very mild - unusually so for early January and I wonder if we will see any real Winter weather before Spring arrives. With our weather becoming more and more unpredictable, it's difficult to say what will happen but we are being told by those in the know to expect more severe weather and prepare for further flooding. Let's hope it is short lived.

As 2012 Draws to a Close...

I'm feeling quite good with myself at having managed to get through a family gathering yesterday without having scratched my arms and rubbed my hands until they bled. This is due in part to the half bottle of gin I took with me which definitely got me through and masked me from the constant talk of football and who scored what and when. I should feel hung-over this morning, but I actually feel fine. Gin doesn't have a lasting effect with me and it's a drink I have learnt to use for its medicinal effects.

Coffee is something I received a lot of this Christmas. I have a nice new container in which to store it and as I type this the smell of freshly filtered coffee is drifting into my office and over my desk. I also received some very nice chocolate (diabetic) from Thorntons and a bag of utterly delicious Brazil nut toffee, again diabetic. I fear that it won't last very long before it is all eaten.

My son is still very much in a Christmas mood. He returns to school a week tomorrow, but this is a distant thought as he creates new and exciting worlds with his Lego and Imaginext castle. He is still in the grip of a Chicken Pox infection with a few spots visible on his face. It doesn't seem to have caused him much harm thankfully and he views it simply as a minor inconvenience. He had a bath the night before last in Dead Sea salts which are supposed to help heal the spots. Their effect also was to send him into a deep sleep a few minutes after he had rejoined me on the sofa.

Today is the first day of the festive period that actually feels what it is - Sunday. We've decided to stay at home today save a brief excursion to the local Co-Op earlier for some essentials and some fresh rolls for lunch.
It's not even mid-day and I've already this morning put some air in the car tyre and fixed the patio door handle, which every three of four months manages to work itself loose. I think I've done quite well.

My thoughts turn to the Group and our forthcoming meeting on Tuesday. We're planning on having bacon sandwiches and baps for the first time. My colleague should be joining me there despite having crashed her car a few days ago. I'm hoping she will have a courtesy car else I'll need to give her a lift.

Looking back on the past year I am thankful and somewhat relieved that we have survived to see another Christmas. This is due in no small part to my wife's budgeting expertise and our diplomacy with creditors and the bank, aided of course by our guardian angels, the Spalding Citizen's Advice Bureau. I don't wish to predict where the coming year will take us, I prefer to live a week at a time. I do however hope that we manage to secure funding for the Group and that I manage to find some kind of paid work, that I'm able to cope with. If nothing else, provided 2013 remains as stable as 2012, then I'll be quite happy. Anything else will be a bonus.

Optimism

Firstly, I am glad that I can type. I am glad that I can spell and that I have the confidence to put my thoughts into words. I've been able to do this since I was very young. I had a typewriter from a very young age and very quickly learnt how to use it. By the time I reached my mid-teens, I had an electronic typewriter and soon after that a very basic (by today's standards) word processor. For all my life, I have never been too far from a keyboard and to do so would most probably cause me to have another breakdown. The keyboard is my output and a vessel by which my thoughts pour like water onto a page. A lot of what I type, particularly here in my blog, I don't talk about openly. People around me tend to go about their lives either oblivious to what's going on around them or prefer to keep their thoughts or worries to themselves. This is fine, they have more important things to think about. I don't request an audience. I consider myself fortunate if anyone else finds my thoughts the remotest bit interesting. My blog is my way of recording my thoughts, and I hope that sometime in the future, by way of it, my son will better understand his father.

I was asked recently whether I am optimistic, about anything. I quickly replied that I am not. In fact I see no future beyond the next day. Of course the reason for this primarily is my financial situation and not knowing where we will be in a month or two from now. But in general, I do find myself fearing for the future - especially for my son and other young people. On the one side, there is the worsening economic situation and the worry as to whether there will be jobs for everyone or whether people who are lucky enough to work can afford housing. On the other side, there is what I see as a worrying escalation in conflict around the world and where the current disputes might lead.
I do think it is inevitable that we will see some form of military escalation in Iran and possibly Syria. I of course would prefer a diplomatic outcome but with each day that passes I think this becomes less likely. The involvement of China and Russia and their opposition to a military response in Iran or Syria will I think send us down one of two paths. The first would be for the Western forces to back down faced with a possible Chinese or Russian military standoff or for the West to attack Iran and intervene in Syria and face the consequences. Some would argue that Russia is in fact supporting the Syrian regime's attack on its own people as they continue to supply arms in the face of mounting condemnation. The estimated $1 billion trade in arms is simply too valuable to Russia and they would not stand by and see this taken away from them.
As for China, there are already rumblings on the Internet that they are preparing for possible military conflict and despite knowing relatively little about their precise capabilities, it would be wrong to assume that their response would be anything but massive.
And then there's Israel and their apparent threat to be preparing an attack on Iran's nuclear facilities to take place in the coming months assuming the US don't do it first.
All of this makes for a very dangerous situation. The cost of oil has risen in recent days due to the embargo on Iranian crude oil exports and Iran's refusal to supply EU member states. The prospect of rising fuel costs on top of a weakening economic situation could have dire consequences here in the UK pushing living standards to a critical level.
I've always been very pessimistic, but the situation as I see it is one that is fast nearing crisis proportions. Unless a last minute solution can be found to the situation in Iran and Syria, then I fully expect to see a new Middle East conflict by the end of this year. The outcome of this conflict will depend ultimately on whether or not it could be contained. My guess is that it would not.
The coming months will be critical in deciding the path taken. Of course we have very little or no influence whatsoever on the outcome. We can only hope and pray that common sense will prevail coupled with a realisation that any fire lit in the Middle East would spread way beyond the borders of Iran and Syria.
2012 will certainly be a decisive year, whatever happens.

A New Year & New Toys

It's a Bank Holiday here and we're making the most of the last day of the holiday season here in the UK. Christmas decorations are still up but we're taking them down tomorrow. Everything will seem so bland once they're down and it will really hit home that we've begun a new year. Celebrations here were pretty muted. For the first time in ages, my wife and I saw in the new year together. Normally she sleeps through it. My son wanted to see the fireworks and celebrations in London so I put it on a DVD for him. He's been watching it on his portable DVD player - one of his Birthday gifts.

There's much speculation in the media about what the new year will hold. We're told that the outlook is grim and that the effects of the recession will be more harsh than in 2011. For us, our biggest worry is what will happen to our home once our insurance stops paying out for the mortgage in February. No matter how hard I try to push it to the back of my mind, the stark reality is always there. I'm once again reliant on my wife to see us through whatever befalls us. We will have to meet with the bank in a couple of weeks to make them aware of our predicament and hope that they will take pity on us. I try not to worry, but it's difficult.

My support group have their first meeting of the year tomorrow and I'll be attending as normal. January is well known for bringing on bouts of depression as people come down from the high of the festive season to the reality of work, mounting debts and worry. I'm wondering how the members of our little group have coped. I'm lucky - I have a wonderful wife who makes everything right and without whom I would have nothing, be nothing. She puts up with a lot and I don't appreciate her enough. I know this. Depression is a very selfish illness. It affects at different levels, at different times and in different ways. It is a complicated illness. No two sufferers are the same. I am lucky to have her.

A bit of techie stuff and a welcome addition to our family is the Wii. It has in the last few days changed from being just a gaming console to a fully networked box of tricks which can now play DVD's, music, surf the Internet and interact with other computers. I was always aware that it was capable of far more than just game play so set about finding out how to apply 'Wii-hacks' to get it to do things it doesn't normally do. And I'm mighty pleased with the results. The games for the Wii are hugely expensive so the ability to download new free games is brilliant. Another function I find immensely useful is the ability to view YouTube content without the need to navigate the site. You simply enter what you're looking for and the Wii displays the videos available. You point to the one you want to watch and the video plays full screen, and in very good quality. It's all out there on the Internet.
I do need to find some software to assist my son with his typing and word skills. We bought him a keyboard for Christmas for hom to use on the Wii. It has chunky coloured keys and is built especially with children in mind. 

My wife's employer is popping round this afternoon. It's a New Year tradition. She'll want to see all the new toys my son received for Christmas and for his Birthday on the 27th. So of course the house is spotless in readiness. Unlike most employers, she is more of a friend to us and treats us all very well. She is always very generous and always buys gifts for our son. We're very fortunate really...