Meeting Coco

A return to normal today with a Group meeting where we met 'Coco' for the first time. Coco is a Chiwawa puppy, just a few weeks old and belongs to my very dear friends and Godparents to my son.

She is simply adorable and the smallest dog I've seen. It was clear that the Group members were very taken with her and in no time she had become the focus of their attention. My son particularly enjoyed meeting her and thoroughly enjoyed his time with the Group today.

On my drive back home from the Group, I was struck by the number of potholes that have appeared between Long Sutton and Spalding. Some of them could do real damage if driven over and it is very clear to me that our roads locally are in need of urgent attention. So come on South Holland District Council... do something before these potholes cause an accident.

I bought a couple of rather nice books today. My library was having a book sale and many of the titles appeared to be new and unread. I managed to procure a book cataloguing every recorded UFO sighting and another on the subject of countryside railways, containing some wonderful photos of trains in various locations around the UK. Both books were just 60p each, which I thought to be a bargain.

2012 was officially the second wettest year on record. I can't say I'm surprised given the amount of rain we had since April when the hosepipe bans begun to be lifted. Today has been the first dry day we've had in weeks and we're not due any more significant rainfall for the foreseeable future. Despite this, it is very mild - unusually so for early January and I wonder if we will see any real Winter weather before Spring arrives. With our weather becoming more and more unpredictable, it's difficult to say what will happen but we are being told by those in the know to expect more severe weather and prepare for further flooding. Let's hope it is short lived.

Two more sleeps...

I'm feeling very festive. It's taken a while but was probably brought about by a party we held for my son earlier. He will be 6 years old on the 27th but we decided to have his party a few days early at our village hall. Despite the panic to ensure that everything went well and that there was enough food to go round, the whole thing was a rip roaring success. Most of the credit should go to the parents who all chipped in and of course the wonderful chap who did the disco. He really is the best and ensured that the kids were kept entertained throughout with various party games. In fact, he really made the party and I can't recommend him enough! I was on kitchen duty, making countless cups of tea and coffee for the adults. In fact, I was in my element and it's something I'm very used to doing each week at my support group meetings.

My son's excitement is clearly beginning to build and he now knows he has just two more sleeps until Santa brings his presents. My wife has done a sterling job this year and has managed once more to work miracles with the relatively small amount of money we have spare. Unlike previous years, it will just be the three of us here for Christmas. My parents are spending Christmas with my sister and my in-laws are playing host to their sons and their families. This is fine, I'm very comfortable with this and it will nice not to have to worry about catering for others and having to the do inevitable taxi runs here and there. We've even done the exchange of gifts, so we're actually ahead of schedule for the first time.
As far as remaining gifts are concerned, we're just waiting on some calendars, a yearly tradition whereby we collate the best of the year's photos of our son. I'm hopeful they will arrive tomorrow as they have been dispatched. We're also waiting for one last gift for our son. He's really into Lego at the moment, as I was when I was his age. We've bought him some of the Lego City range this year and to top it off, we have ordered for him a rather nice helicopter which Tesco have very kindly reduced from £34 to just £23. It has a delivery estimate of the 28th, though I'm hopeful it will arrive at our local store for collection late tomorrow.
I do also need to buy a little something for my wife. We did decide some months ago not to buy for each other as money is so short. It turns out though that my wife has spent some money on something for me, so I must do the same. Luckily I have tomorrow afternoon to find something suitable.

I have a Blue Skies meeting in the morning for a couple of hours. It was decided we would meet Christmas Eve as otherwise the wait between meetings would be too great. We're going to have a few festive nibbles and treats and I'm hoping as many as possible will attend.

In the news, we have more flooding affecting parts of the UK. This time rail routes have been affected and there are severe flood warnings, particularly in the West. More rainfall is predicted and this is likely to cause further flooding in the coming days. Indeed, many of the dykes here in South Holland are almost full and the fields around and about are heavily waterlogged. This is the worst I have seen them in ten years.
Another story, which simply won't go away, is the Andrew Mitchell 'who said what to who plebgate affair'. Stepping back, I find the whole thing utterly ridiculous compared to other things going on in the World. There is talk of investigation after investigation and repeated denials which frankly will simply run on and on. The fact is that no one recorded what was said and it's one word against another. Just draw a line under it and move on. There are more important things we should be concerning ourselves with such as helping those who cannot afford to heat their homes or feed their families.

Finally, it did look as if I'd had a little luck on Friday when I received a remittance advice note from the NHS for my volunteer expenses. The amount paid to me was £422, way higher than it should be. When I checked my November expenses, I'd travelled a total of 420 miles. At 40p per mile, this is £168. I'm rather hoping that it is some kind of Christmas good will bonus of some kind, but I doubt it very much. Being the honest guy I am, I'm going to have to phone up tomorrow and ask if they have made a mistake. Needless to say, in my mind I have already spent every penny of it!

I'll try to get another post in before the big day, but if I don't Happy Christmas to you all and thanks so much for taking an interest in my random thoughts and ramblings.

A Tough Week

It's been a tough week. When someone you know dies, it throws you into a state of flux. When they take their own life, it fills you with a lot of different emotions. As well as feeling sad and distressed at his loss, I found myself feeling very angry, angry that it could have happened and angry that all the good work that he had done and the projects he had planned were now gone. I kept playing over in my mind how he could have been feeling and what led him to do it. Was the problem so great that there was no solution? Could anyone have helped prevent it? Perhaps he just wanted to go, no matter how much help and support was on offer. Perhaps he'd simply had enough and just didn't want to go on. Maybe we'll never know.
The void left by Andrew's death is huge. So many people knew him, from NHS executive through to support groups and mental health sufferers. For many he was their champion, someone who campaigned tirelessly for greater understanding and better services. Many have remarked how, if it hadn't been for Andrew, they wouldn't be here today. Andrew's legacy will live on through the people he has touched and the campaign he started. It will be up to the people Andrew knew to continue the good work he started and the various support groups to promote this work through training, awareness and fund raising.
Andrew's funeral is being held on Friday 7th December at Nocton Wood Burial Site, Lincoln. I will be attending with one of my support group colleagues on behalf of Blue Skies.

The week started quite badly with a visit to the bank, practically pleading with them to extend the arrangement we have with them for another three months to March next year, when the interest rate drops to 3.9% (we are currently on a fixed rate of 6.9%). Sadly, despite our pleas, the bank decided not to be as helpful as they could have been and as a result, we have had to seek the help once more of the Citizen's Advice Bureau. They have, as expected, been brilliant. They have written to the bank on our behalf in an attempt to make them see sense and I hope that we'll hear some good news soon. The alternative is a fine each month, harassing phone calls at all hours, and threatening letters. We were told by the adviser at the bank to expect this. This is despite being told by my wife of my poor mental health. The problem with banks, particularly the large ones, is that exceptions cannot be made for customers with specific needs. Unless you fit into one of their boxes, they don't want to know. Your circumstances trigger computer generated letters and harassing telephone calls from faceless call centres. They don't know you, they don't know your situation and they don't know how to deviate from the script in front of them or stuck to the side of their little partitioned cubicle. They don't care. It's not as if we're asking the earth, we're not - just three months leniency until we're able to take advantage of the new lower interest rate.
It's far to say that this is having a bearing on my mental state. I do worry about it constantly and if anything is going to drag me back down in the coming weeks, it is this.

I've been more busy than ever this last week with preparations for our funding bid application from the Mental Illness Prevention Fund. On Monday, I spend several hours going through the application at a colleague's place. Since then, I've been constantly updating things especially costs as we think up new items to add to the list. We're already at over £3,000!
On Tuesday, we visited the bank to start our application for a bank account. Whilst there, the bank manager opened up to us about her daughter, who suffers mental illness. In fact we spent most of the one hour appointment talking about this. The relief at having found a local support group was palpable. I should have been surprised, but I wasn't. Mental illness is everywhere. I was so glad that we'd been able to help and it was reassuring to know that we had the support of our bank manager!

Thursday was particularly stressful and I found myself feeling quite emotionally drained. Our members are in need, that is why they attend the group. The company of others, particularly those who understand and who have lived experience of their illness, is important to them. For many, they simply wouldn't get out of bed if they didn't have the group. Sadly, several were in a distressed state and in greater need of our support than normal. It is very sad to see them this way and I feel frustrated at not being able to help more. I've seen what desperation does and I'm doubly keen to ensure we offer all the support we can when it is needed and an assurance that it is there when it is not. To further the types of support we are able to offer, I would very much like for us to be trained in counselling skills. I have been asked for counselling and it would be great if we were able to offer this. For some the thought of having to see a 'professional' is very off-putting and it is very important that our members feel comfortable and at ease.

A difficult visit to my parent's this morning. I felt like a caged animal. I do whenever I'm with family. They don't talk to me (perhaps they don't know what to say to someone with mental illness), and I feel quite ostracised. The longer I'm there, the worse I feel. Paranoia soon sets in and I become anxious about what they are thinking and saying about me. It is horrible, I feel terrible and it's a situation I always try to avoid. Of course they don't understand and I get comments like 'you're not talking very much' and 'cat got your tongue?'. The people I work with do, they more than understand. They go through it every day, the same feelings just like me. I'm so glad I know them and I would be lost without them.

The weather is once again in the news. As I type this, I see that two people have so far lost their lives due to flooding and falling trees. It is worse in the West where flooding is the main problem due to burst rivers and breached defences. There was a time when flooding on this scale would have been a singular event and treated as a major crisis. Nowadays, it is all too common. Flooding is becoming a regular occurrence and it is becoming more and more difficult to accept those who claim that our weather patterns are not changing. It is clear that our weather is worsening and those living in flood hit areas of the country should expect more and more events such as those we have witnessed this week.

Getting My Throat Back...

My goodness, I've been poorly this last week and today is the first time I've felt able to write anything. My son had been suffering for some time with a cold he'd picked up from school. Schools are a breeding ground for all kinds of illness and there really isn't one week that passes when at least one member of his class isn't poorly. I normally do quite well by avoiding colds and viruses, in fact it's been over a year since I've had anything significant. Wherever this particular virus came from, it had my name on it and a payload designed to incapacitate. I don't think I've ever actually felt so ill. I knew I was coming down with something a week ago. It's that feeling you get that tells you a cold is on its way, or that precursor to a sore throat. Within a couple of days, it had properly hit but went straight for my throat rather than start in the nose or the chest. I'd wake feeling as though I'd swallowed a handful of razor blades, and so this continued all week. Unable to swallow, I've certainly lost some weight, which isn't a bad thing I suppose.
As it hadn't cleared by Friday, I made myself an appointment and popped along to the health centre to be told what I already knew, that I had a temperature and a chest infection. Amoxcillin was prescribed and plenty of fluids. It's certainly working. My throat is almost back to normal but I do have a chesty cough. But it does seem to be on the way out, thank goodness.

A busy week ahead (for me). Tomorrow I have some NHS training to attend in North Hykeham. I'm taking with me another support team volunteer as she doesn't drive so I'll need to collect her en-route from Spalding. I checked the route on Google Maps and it dawned on me how far we'll need to travel. It's a 120 mile round trip in total and I just hope the weather will be better tomorrow than it is right now.
I will attempt to write-up the training session and add to my website where I now have a small section on Health.

We've seen more flooding across the UK, most notably in Wales where rivers have breached their banks causing many thousands of pounds worth of damage. This morning there are reports of flooding in Sussex and frankly if this persistent rain doesn't stop, I see this being repeated here. I'm really getting fed up with writing about the weather. It is just so bad at the moment and so changeable. I know people for whom weather like this can make all the difference between getting up and about or staying in bed. It affects their mood greatly. I did pop out briefly to get a top-up voucher for my mobile and to drop off a pair of ear plugs I'd promised to a member of our group last week. He suffers with broken sleep due to noisy neighbours so I've recommended he use them. For the short time I was out, I got soaked so was glad to get back home in the dry.

I have a couple of computers to work on this week, from the same customer. One of them is a laptop, the same laptop I'd repaired a few weeks ago replacing the keyboard. This time, the laptop has been dropped and has a fault as a result. It'll need stripping down to find out what has become dislodged. The other is just a general tune-up.
I've also been asked to provide some basic computer tuition, but I am struggling with this as the person I will be teaching has absolutely no skills or knowledge, but is at the same time and expert when it comes to his own computer and the Internet, despite the fact he's not even connected(!) I just know this is going to be difficult and I wonder how my sanity will hold-up. I have for now managed to put him off due to my 'man-flu' but I just know I will have to bite the bullet at some point...