Throwing Stones

This past week, I have had to explain to my son why there are nasty people in the world who want to throw things at other countries. It is not an easy conversation to have and one I really don't enjoy. I have limited my explanation so my son likens any threat to something akin to the canon ball launchers he has with his Imaginext play castle. After all, he is only six and really isn't ready for the full horror of what inter-continental ballistic missiles are capable of. That is really what his schooling is for.
In the past week, words have been used which no one would want to hear used in media news broadcasts. Words such as nuclear and strike have been used in the same sentence along with anti-missile and defence. During the 70's and 80's the use of such words would have sent a chill through the population and prompted the circulation of 'protect and survive' leaflets. Since those days, freedom of information means that we now know how futile any form of advice would be and it is now accepted that there would be little or no protection from a nuclear exchange.
Just how much of this is just words? I suspect rather a lot. I listened with interest to a piece on this morning's Broadcasting House where we heard that domestic television news in North Korea barely mentions any kind of crisis and places more importance on the publication of a book about 'The Great Leader' and an exhibition of photography. If North Korea are building up to war then it would appear the populous is blissfully unaware. So is it all a show? Quite possibly. After all, they have done it on numerous occasions before. What is more dangerous than the 'crisis' in relations is the talk about nuclear war. This can lead to misunderstandings and mistakes. A game of threats is not one to be playing when those involved have the means to trigger a conflict from which there would be no return.
This last week, if nothing else, has been a stark reminder of how quickly international affairs can deteriorate to a point whereby we begin talking about the use of nuclear weapons.
I keep hearing in the media whether we should be worried. I don't think so. The retaliation to anything fired at us would be massive. What we should be worried about is the wider effect of any military action between North and South Korea. The inevitable involvement of the US and military build up in the region would not be tolerated by China, as they have made clear, and would risk it adopting a defencive stance. Any accidents or mistakes could easily result in a far wider conflict developing, and it's this that should worry us.

Sunshine and Remembering the Shoah

How nice it is to wake to sunshine. OK, it's not anywhere near Summer weather but it is a huge difference compared to the arctic weather we have had over the last few weeks. It feels good sitting here in my office typing this as the sun shines through my glazed doors warming my back and neck.
As I take a cursory glance over this morning's news stories, I am reminded that it is Holocaust Memorial Day here in the UK. My thoughts turn to the horrors of the concentration camps and the fear and terror of those millions of persecuted human beings who were inflicted the most evil of crimes during the Second World War. The effects of the sunshine this morning soon pale into nothing as I try to imagine the overwhelming sense of fear and terror felt by so many of all ages herded into ghettos and sent on cattle trains to spend their final days in such places we today know as Treblinka, Buchenwald and Auschwitz.
A good few years ago, I decided to discover for myself all I could about the atrocities committed during the Second World War. I hadn't been taught very much at school about the period and the little I did know had come from films I had seen in the form of Schindler's List and the odd documentary. Although the Internet was evolving, I did manage to find out about the Shoah Foundation and the amazing work they were doing in recording and preserving the testimonies of those who had lived through the period and witnessed the horrors committed by the Nazi's against Jewish people and those of different faiths, backgrounds and ideologies.

It didn't take very long for me to be convinced that the things I had heard were true and watching the heart wrenching testimonials of those who had lost parents, brothers, sisters, wives and husbands, left me in no doubt that as many people should know as much about what had happened as possible.
As a father, I wonder whether it will be left to me to provide my son with the answers to what really went on during this dark period in our 'recent' history. I do hope it isn't simply glossed over by his schooling and that he understands that as well as all the great things we have achieved, humankind can be destructive and evil.
I suspect, and hope, that he will someday mention that he is studying this period at school and I know I will have the confidence to talk to him about the events in our history that so many would rather choose to forget.

Meeting Coco

A return to normal today with a Group meeting where we met 'Coco' for the first time. Coco is a Chiwawa puppy, just a few weeks old and belongs to my very dear friends and Godparents to my son.

She is simply adorable and the smallest dog I've seen. It was clear that the Group members were very taken with her and in no time she had become the focus of their attention. My son particularly enjoyed meeting her and thoroughly enjoyed his time with the Group today.

On my drive back home from the Group, I was struck by the number of potholes that have appeared between Long Sutton and Spalding. Some of them could do real damage if driven over and it is very clear to me that our roads locally are in need of urgent attention. So come on South Holland District Council... do something before these potholes cause an accident.

I bought a couple of rather nice books today. My library was having a book sale and many of the titles appeared to be new and unread. I managed to procure a book cataloguing every recorded UFO sighting and another on the subject of countryside railways, containing some wonderful photos of trains in various locations around the UK. Both books were just 60p each, which I thought to be a bargain.

2012 was officially the second wettest year on record. I can't say I'm surprised given the amount of rain we had since April when the hosepipe bans begun to be lifted. Today has been the first dry day we've had in weeks and we're not due any more significant rainfall for the foreseeable future. Despite this, it is very mild - unusually so for early January and I wonder if we will see any real Winter weather before Spring arrives. With our weather becoming more and more unpredictable, it's difficult to say what will happen but we are being told by those in the know to expect more severe weather and prepare for further flooding. Let's hope it is short lived.

Happy Birthday Son

An early start again today. My son is six years old and another stack of presents were waiting for him in the lounge this morning. I love to see him excited. He reminds me so much of myself when I was his age.

Twin rotor heavy-lift helicopter with drive on/drive off tail

Police Station with prison cells, dog kennel, garages and offices

This year he has received a lot of Lego and my wife and I have just finished building a police station and twin rotor helicopter. I'm just hoping he manages to keep it all in one piece! In an ever changing world, Lego remains one of the few constants where its quality can be guaranteed. It seems there is nothing that cannot be modelled or replicated by Lego and I am in awe as to how the creators manage to produce such easy to follow instructions and intricate facsimiles of the things around us.

The huge number of cards he has received is testament to how much he is loved and adored by his family, Godparents and relatives. My sister has once again produced some unique and inspirational cards, all of which would be the envy of Hallmark and other greetings industry favorites. His nanny and granddad on my wife's side called in again earlier today to wish him a Happy Birthday and to see his many presents and cards, which was nice. His aunt and uncle are due to visit this evening

It is difficult to believe that my son is already six years old. It seems like only yesterday that we were at QE Hospital in Kings Lynn, both exhausted following a 48 hour labour. He has grown up so fast since then and I'm constantly amazed at the speed at which he is developing.
His chicken pox doesn't seem to be affecting him too much though he has started to itch a little in places. I suppose it's just as well he's caught it now and hopefully it will be gone in a few more days.

There was a little excitement earlier today when my colleague called me to say that she'd had an accident on the way to a meeting of our group. It happened as she neared the river in Spalding and from what she has described to me, it seems she may have blacked-out and hit a parked car, causing he car to turn on its side. Thankfully she is OK apart from some scratches and bruises and very lucky. I've yet to speak with her at any length and I expect she is still very shaken from the ordeal, but I will call tomorrow to see how she is.
I am reminded that I need to complete the record of our members' contact details, in case of events such as this. It is very important to be able to contact people in emergencies particularly if we have to postpone or cancel meetings.

My wife's return to work tomorrow reminds me that this is a all but a temporary period of fun and relaxation. There are many who despite the break still need their hair maintaining and styled. New Year parties will produce a final surge in demand over the coming days and my wife and her colleagues will frantically try to squeeze in as many perms, blue rinses and highlights as they can on New Year's Eve.
My 'return to normal' will occur New Year's Day, where we have a group meeting for a couple of hours in the morning. It will be nice to see everyone once more and hear how Christmas was for them.

I did manage to contact the people responsible for paying my volunteer expenses and I informed them I had been overpaid. They praised my honesty and pointed out that I should have been paid more than the amount I was expecting, which was nice. They have asked me to pay back the overpayment which of course I will do... in due course.

Paralympic Welcome, Tentative York & Longing for Security

Once again, we produced an epic opening ceremony, this time for the Paralympic Games. Though not on quite the same scale as the Olympic opening ceremony, it was nonetheless fully attended and watched by millions across the country. Channel 4 have the broadcast rights to the Paralympics and though their coverage was very good, much criticism has been made of the decision to include numerous advertisement breaks during the event. Twitter was awash with comments deploring Channel 4 for the decision and I have to admit that I was one of those contributing to the protests. Being one of the largest and most significant events Channel 4 has broadcast since it launched in 1982, I would really have expected the channel to forgo the revenue from the numerous car ads in favour of showing the whole event uninterrupted.
For me, the event was very moving. The sight of hundreds of disabled athletes, proud to be representing their countries and being celebrated was magnificent. The choreography was world class and complimented with a commentary by Stephen Hawking. The athletes were proud the be there, and it showed.

Tomorrow, we had hoped to be taking our son to York for the first time. My wife and I have been to York on a couple of occasions and have enjoyed it very much. There's something about the place that you can't quite put your finger on, but I do have a particular fondness for the history, architecture and of course the wonderful Railway Museum.
I've mentioned before the prohibitive cost of rail travel and the return fare being £145 for the three of us. Now, to me this seems expensive. Perhaps I'm simply out of touch with current public transport costs. But when I compare this to the cost of travelling by car, about £35, it really does seem excessive. We are rather hoping that my in-laws will lend us the money until my expenses arrive for my NHS work. This would allow us to get there and back, and a packed lunch would negate the need to buy food. It's touch and go at the moment whether we'll go or not but if we're able to, I know my son will love it.

I've written about having to keep a diary noting activities and my anxiety and depression levels. This is for the CBT therapy I'm having in Spalding. I'm a little concerned that when I have my next session on the 18th September (when my therapist returns from her holiday to Mexico), there won't be a great deal for her to analyse. I've actually been feeling quite good for the last few weeks. I certainly haven't had any depressive episodes and my anxiety levels have been pretty much level. This may be due to the fact that I'm finding things to occupy me, or simply that there haven't been any triggers to set me off. The one constant thing on my mind is the Bank and whether they will allow us to continue contributing to the mortgage. I worry daily that there will either be a letter or phone call requesting me to contact them. If and when it comes, I will need to ask them to extend the period further. My biggest fear is that they will say no. I may be worrying for no reason as I've been told by so many people that provided we are paying something, they cannot do anything and as the house value is decreasing, they are unlikely to try to turf us out to sell on. Common sense tells me this is the likely outcome but I still worry. At least this time round I can tell them I am officially an NHS Volunteer, so I'm doing something productive. Although I'm not being paid anything - just my expenses - I am hopeful that it will develop into something permanent. Working in some kind of mental health support role within the NHS is my current aim. The question is how long we can survive for until something happens?

My Son's Away Day

My son is off to London tomorrow. It' his first visit and he's really excited about seeing the sights and a long ride on the train. He'll have a great time. I am though slightly put out that it won't be his parents taking him. I've written about this before, my in-law's generosity. They do the things that my wife and I can't afford to. Of course that's fine and a lot of the places they go to on holiday would never appeal to me at all. But when it
involves my son, I'm just made to feel useless and a bad father. I would love to see my son's face as he stares up at Big Ben or walks across Tower Bridge. I just wish I had the money to spend on a trip to London. But I don't and once again I am indebted to my in-laws for doing the things I should be.

We have had a hosepipe ban imposed on us today. It's not just us, but most of the south-east of the UK as far as Yorkshire. We are now officially in a drought and must begin using water sparingly. If we don't then we are told we will face a crisis resulting in further restrictions and rationing. I'm not actually a hosepipe user. I use a watering can in the garden filled from a water butt that collects rain from the downpipes. It is currently full following the heavy rain yesterday and should last about a week.

Well Done Son

Congratulations to my Son for achieving 'Star of the Week' at his school. Daddy is very proud of you and chuffed to bits!

49 Years, Harvest & A New Libya

An extraordinary day. Colonel Gaddafi has finally been hunted down and killed. Of course this is good and one can only hope that Libya can find lasting freedom and democracy. Today this is big news and the Internet is full of gruesome images and video capturing the tyrant's death. I do find it all slightly disturbing but without showing these images, there will be doubt as to whether he has finally gone. For the countless victims, there must be a sense of relief that his reign is now over. The task now is to ensure that no one is able to take his place.

Back to home and it is my parent's wedding anniversary today, their 49th no less. It would seem their wedding anniversary can be linked with major world events. So what was the world like exactly 49 years ago...? Around this date in 1962, the world came dangerously close to the brink of a third world war sparked by the Cuban Missile Crisis. I find it very difficult to understand how normal life could have continued at this time. I am fascinated by this period in time. A part of me suspects that people probably rushed to get things done before perhaps the unthinkable happened. What is known of this period is that the threat posed by two superpowers hell bent on nuclear brinkmanship was very real and terrifying. Life couldn't have been normal and there must have been real questions asked as to whether there would be another tomorrow.

Today was also my son's school harvest service. My wife had to work so, as parents could attend, I followed the coach to church and attended the service at Holbeach St Mark's. The church soon filled with school children and parents. The children occupied the front of the church and their classes took turns to turn facing the congregation and and sang songs with a harvest theme. It was great to be in the audience and see my son looking longingly through the throng of proud parents and finally spotting me with a huge grin on his face. It filled me with pride to be there and I'll cherish the moment forever.