Looking Back

I've kept a number of my diaries and from time to time, I look through them. Most of them I used when I was working and as I leaf through the pages, I see to do lists, meetings and appointments and post-it notes full of reminders to call people I once knew. My, wasn't I busy then... Where I've written notes, I am able to rekindle events in my mind such as when I was particularly busy at work, on-call and earning ridiculous amounts of money. I recall meetings with friends and girlfriends, long before I became married and a father. I remember with fondness days when I could do anything, buy anything and not worry about putting petrol in the car. I would drive for miles simply for the hell of it and not think twice about spending another £30 or £40 on a tank of fuel. My diaries speak of a different age and a different life, though scarily not that long ago.

I'm so glad I that wrote so many notes. I would moan about the hotel I stayed in, for I stayed in hotels for three months during my move from London to Peterborough in 2001/2. I would write about the food I'd eaten, the places I had been to and the people I had met. I would record when people I knew had died and I would note important world events.
Looking through my 2001 diary, I reach the page marked 11th September and see that I was busy building computers for use at my new Peterborough site. I see that I have written 'WTC bombing' and highlighted it in bright red. I'm surprised I didn't write more, but what could I write? I was in shock, we all were. The event was too big for words. On that day, everything stopped for a while and I joined the rest of my Churchill IT colleagues to watch live coverage. In the days after, life went on. The pages for the rest of the week show meetings, appointments and things to do with work that I needed to remember.
The pages from my diaries speak of a time when my life was dominated by work, by responsibility and of money. It all feels so alien to me now and I feel when I read the diaries as if I am reading about the life of somebody else, rather than me.
As I look through the pages of my 2001 diary, I find the day when my budgerigar 'Rubick' died - Tuesday 29th May. I see also the day my mate and colleague 'Blob' returned to work with us after a stint running his own company. I see that on the 23rd April I won £359, though I've no idea how or why. I also find the week when my Nan died and recall how left work early and drove like a maniac to get to the hospital in time.
Most of the pages in my diaries haven't been opened since the day they were written. Little did I know then just how valuable they would be to me in the future. Of course they are personal to me and most of what I've written will be meaningless to most people. Many of the entries made carry with them their own particular memories and recollections - some good and some bad and that I'd rather forget. There are things I've written which I don't understand such as on Monday 25th May 1998 were I've written the words 'Suffolk' and 'Dump'.
Amongst all the scribbles, the arrows and hundreds of phone numbers is a record of my professional past. It was a different world back then. Of course, it wasn't perfect but I lived for the day and didn't need to worry about the future. My diaries are a window on the past, my past and the way I used to live and work. They are the only link to who I used to be and the people I used to know... I'm glad I've kept them.

Happy Birthday Son

An early start again today. My son is six years old and another stack of presents were waiting for him in the lounge this morning. I love to see him excited. He reminds me so much of myself when I was his age.

Twin rotor heavy-lift helicopter with drive on/drive off tail

Police Station with prison cells, dog kennel, garages and offices

This year he has received a lot of Lego and my wife and I have just finished building a police station and twin rotor helicopter. I'm just hoping he manages to keep it all in one piece! In an ever changing world, Lego remains one of the few constants where its quality can be guaranteed. It seems there is nothing that cannot be modelled or replicated by Lego and I am in awe as to how the creators manage to produce such easy to follow instructions and intricate facsimiles of the things around us.

The huge number of cards he has received is testament to how much he is loved and adored by his family, Godparents and relatives. My sister has once again produced some unique and inspirational cards, all of which would be the envy of Hallmark and other greetings industry favorites. His nanny and granddad on my wife's side called in again earlier today to wish him a Happy Birthday and to see his many presents and cards, which was nice. His aunt and uncle are due to visit this evening

It is difficult to believe that my son is already six years old. It seems like only yesterday that we were at QE Hospital in Kings Lynn, both exhausted following a 48 hour labour. He has grown up so fast since then and I'm constantly amazed at the speed at which he is developing.
His chicken pox doesn't seem to be affecting him too much though he has started to itch a little in places. I suppose it's just as well he's caught it now and hopefully it will be gone in a few more days.

There was a little excitement earlier today when my colleague called me to say that she'd had an accident on the way to a meeting of our group. It happened as she neared the river in Spalding and from what she has described to me, it seems she may have blacked-out and hit a parked car, causing he car to turn on its side. Thankfully she is OK apart from some scratches and bruises and very lucky. I've yet to speak with her at any length and I expect she is still very shaken from the ordeal, but I will call tomorrow to see how she is.
I am reminded that I need to complete the record of our members' contact details, in case of events such as this. It is very important to be able to contact people in emergencies particularly if we have to postpone or cancel meetings.

My wife's return to work tomorrow reminds me that this is a all but a temporary period of fun and relaxation. There are many who despite the break still need their hair maintaining and styled. New Year parties will produce a final surge in demand over the coming days and my wife and her colleagues will frantically try to squeeze in as many perms, blue rinses and highlights as they can on New Year's Eve.
My 'return to normal' will occur New Year's Day, where we have a group meeting for a couple of hours in the morning. It will be nice to see everyone once more and hear how Christmas was for them.

I did manage to contact the people responsible for paying my volunteer expenses and I informed them I had been overpaid. They praised my honesty and pointed out that I should have been paid more than the amount I was expecting, which was nice. They have asked me to pay back the overpayment which of course I will do... in due course.

An Anxious First Day Back

I think I was feeling more anxious than my son. It was his first day back to school today after the long Summer holiday. He told us he didn't want to go, but thankfully we didn't have any tears or tantrums I suspect were occurring in homes all over the country.
I didn't expect I would feel so anxious. I had the same feelings I used to have when I was young, dreading the return to school after a break or weekend. I hated it and the feelings all came flooding back this morning. I even felt myself beginning to sweat in the same way I would before school or before leaving for work. I had to keep reminding myself that I was at home, and would be staying here for the anxiety to dissipate.
To make matters worse, he has a new teacher. He was very fond of his old teacher. She has moved on to teach older children at another local school. He has met the new teacher before, she took a lesson last term so he has had brief experience of her.
This morning, all the children in my son's class were required to bring in a box with some of their favourite things inside. My wife spent most of last evening making sure it was complete and I printed some photos out to put inside.
The house feels empty. My wife has gone to work and my son is at school. I do have the dog, but she goes upstairs to sulk on our bed only venturing downstairs if she thinks she is going to get a treat, or when the postman calls.
It is surprising though just how quickly the hours go by, and it will soon be 3.15 and time to go and collect him. He'll be excited to be coming home and remembering very little of his day at school, volunteering only the most scant details, as is usual.
Things are back to normal today. My wife is at work, I am feeling guilty that she has to, and my son is back at school. I am sat here typing, transferring my thoughts to my blog and updating my website. There's something safe and comfortable about being back to normal, probably something to do with my need for routine. Tomorrow will be just the same.

Employment Past

I had a sift through my VHS tapes earlier today. I used to have hundreds, literally and they covered every wall. Now I probably have a little under a hundred. I found some very old tapes, some more than 20 years old. There were certainly some gems amongst the recordings - holidays when I was young, parties and weddings. There was video of people loved then and loved now who have sadly passed on. They all brought back memories. One tape in particular contained a recording I made in 1990 at one of the company's first summer parties. Back then I was quite the amateur videographer and often travelled with my video camera recording all that I could. Back then in 1990, I was a new member of staff at a fledgling company called Churchill Insurance. Not long before, the company had been known as Meridian Insurance but this was changed in favor of the new brand. There was no dog back then, it was just the word 'Churchill' with a red line underneath and the words 'online to serve you'. Churchill's success in its early days was attributed to its technology, which was second to none. Its systems, its daring use of Kray servers, were the heart of the company and were nursed day and night by a small team of developers and operations staff.
Back to the video and it was good to see so many former colleagues, many of which were there at Churchill's birth. They literally formed the foundations and the pillars of the company and little did they know back then just how great it would become. I have fond memories of my time there. I was with the company from 1989 to 2005, forced out by redundancy thanks to the nasty man that is Fred The Shred and his evil RBS empire. RBS had bought Churchill a couple of years before, netting Martin Long (Churchill's Chief Exec) around £60 million.
My fondest memories are of the times I would have to literally retrieve our network engineer Richard Cauldwell from a nearby hotel at 10 in the morning escort him to Churchill House to fix a problem. He'd normally be drunk or hung-over from a session the night before. I recall also the day Alan Bowers, then the head of IT, was killed in a car crash. I remember hearing the cries from his loyal development team through the thin partition wall separating them and the computer 'bunker' I was in at the time. I recall with sadness hearing the news not long after that Richard Cauldwell had been killed in a snorkeling accident while on holiday. Those early days of rocketing success were certainly marked with tragedy.
It would be just a few years until Churchill became Bromley's largest employer. Bromley was and still is Churchill's home. A ball would be held each year in June for all staff. The venues would grow in size each year to accommodate the growing numbers and a regular event would be the 'blowing-up' of a mock Direct Line telephone, much to everyone's enjoyment. Yes, they were good days and days I look back on with deep fondness.
Good days indeed and how different things are now. Back then, I had no worries about putting petrol in the car or just going for an afternoon drive. I would buy things I didn't need and know that the bank account was looking after itself. That's what it was like. I was in a good job with no worries. Back to reality and with my memories, anyone would think I'm at retirement age. I'm not, I'm only 38...
I found a load more videos today... I'll write about what I discovered soon.