Easter Day Musings & Rants

It is heartening to see that the Church is united in condemning the government's welfare reforms. Church organisations and support groups such as my own see first hand on a daily basis the appalling impact that cuts to welfare are having for people with long term illness, disability and those unable to find work. Frankly, it is these organisations that see the real effects and it is they to whom so many people turn to for help. I see the hardship caused to the vulnerable in our society all the time. Many of those we support through Blue Skies are fearful of every letter in case it threatens further reductions in their benefit or yet another flawed medical assessment. For them each day is a struggle and a helping hand or sympathetic ear goes a long way to easing their stress. New members to our group tell the same story. They are afflicted with sometimes crippling mental illness yet deemed well enough for work. Only last week, a member of our group living with his poorly mum in a two bedroom bungalow received a letter telling him he has one room too many and will therefore have his benefit cut to pay the ill thought out 'bedroom tax'.  Is it any wonder our disabled and vulnerable feel victimised? Personally, I would like to see other organisations joining forces with the Church to create a united front against a government out of touch with the genuine needs of its people. Perhaps then, we can call a halt to what some are branding a 'war on the poor'.

Turning to road safety as I occasionally do in this blog, I am once again witness to another case of the most appalling driving I have seen. In total disregard for the 30 mph limit through the village of Lutton this morning, a driver saw fit to drive inches from my rear bumper and overtake at ridiculous speed just to get to a house a few hundred yards further down the road. The driver of this monster of a vehicle (gold Volkswagen 4x4) was left in no doubt of my dismay when I passed him further down the road exiting it.
It really does make me more sure than ever that dash cams should be a mandatory requirement in cars. They are exceptionally cheap and very easy to use. Just knowing that they are being recorded would be enough to make idiots such as this think twice. There should also be a means by which footage could be uploaded to a road safety body whose job it would then be to investigate the most serious of cases and to publish the footage online for all to see. Perhaps naming and shaming would act as an effective deterrent to those who clearly believe they are above the law.

The clocks went forward an hour last night. Most won't give it a second thought and can adjust to the change in time quite easily. For me, it is something I hate. I rely very much on my routine - it helps me to function and plays a vital role in my fight against depression. Any change to my routine is very disruptive and the change to British Summer Time is something I really don't cope very well with. I know it is just a fact of life, but waking this morning to find that I had missed 'Broadcasting House' completely was really too much to bare. Instead I had to take my shower listening to 'Steve Wright's Love Songs', something I never normally do. Yes I know it's all very trivial but for someone like me whose routine is their defence, it can be quite a major thing.
As I look at the clock, it is approaching 1pm. This to me feels wrong, it shouldn't be this late and I feel as if I am behind and running late. In a few days, I'm sure everything will feel normal once more, but I do wonder if all this time changing is really necessary...

I did hear on the radio recently that Easter is considered the largest and most important event in the Christian calendar.  It is a shame that for a great many people, Easter just means chocolate eggs and hot cross buns. I suspect commercialisation (that's a long word!) has resulted in Easter taking second place to Christmas but it was nice last week to see that our local schools place huge importance in this holiest of events. A church service attended by the local schools was held at Holbeach St. Mark's, a very fine church built to the designs of Ewan Christian in 1868-69.

It has wonderful stained glass windows, each telling a story and depicting the major events in its history. I am fortunate that my circumstances allow for me to attend these services - had I been working, my son wouldn't have been able to look out to see his dad's beaming grin amongst the congregation. As it was, my wife was, for the first time, able to attend as she had been able to finish work early. I place huge importance on being there - above all else in fact - I think it's so important.

I am hopeful that the coming couple of weeks will see the first part of the grant transferred to our Blue Skies Group bank account. I have managed to negotiate for us to receive two-thirds of the full amount in the first payment. This will enable us to launch all our arts & craft projects and buy all the equipment we need for the computer skills sessions I will be running. We have also benefited from the donation of a digital camera which will enable our members to take photos and edit or print them. I am hopeful that we will be able to put together an exhibition of our photography later in the year.
We were joined by a new group member on Thursday. I had met him on the previous Tuesday and he was keen to help out with the group. His timing is perfect and I am sure there will be a lot he can become involved with. It's not often you come across people who fit in straight away, but Paul clearly has and brings with him many skills useful to the group. It also transpires that he has the skills to administer our new Blue Skies website which will help me tremendously. A real win-win for all concerned.

 Warmest Easter greetings to you all.

The first weekend of the Winter

Winter is here and I've decided I want to get my son a typewriter for Christmas. This may sound odd, but I had a typewriter at a very young age and it was by using it that I learnt how to spell. I don't wish for him to have anything too big or complicated, just a simple portable model that he can learn on. I recall I used to copy large sections from books and as I came across a word I didn't know the meaning of, I would look it up. It was by using a typewriter that I learnt how to type letters and how to arrange them so they looked professional.
I don't want to force my son down this route. He has expressed an interest in having one and learning to use one and maybe he will become as enthusiastic as I did when I was his age. It would be nice if perhaps from this he began to be interested in words and their meanings. It's worth a try. After all, a typewriter isn't expensive - there are literally hundreds of them on eBay for as little as £10 or £20.

Friday last week and I was training again, this time in Lincoln at Involve in Mint Lane. I was with one of my group colleagues who drove us there for a 9.30 start. Although the course was on the subject of mental health, it was difficult (and still is) to understand exactly what the course is about. So far, we have looked at ways in which we can support ourselves personally if we are affected with Anxiety or Depression related mental illness. There are only two others attending the course so it's a jolly good job we turned up! The second part of the course is this coming Friday. So far the course has been unique.
We were invited to join the Renew Group who hold their gatherings at Involve - so we both joined which means we are now able to make use of their facilities as and when we wish. Being a similar type of support group ourselves, it was useful to become affiliated with them and I'm sure good things will come from it.

Earlier today I discovered a rather nice photograph in my parent's kitchen. It had appeared over the last week and it is one I hadn't seen before. It shows my mother, father, my nan and granddad and their daughter in law at Hastings on the East Sussex Coast. It was clearly taken sometime in the 1960's at a spot I'm quite familiar with. The quality of the photograph is excellent so I took a copy straight away.

The hairstyles are quite wonderful and clearly of a different era!

In the news, the Jimmy Savile scandal continues to steal the headlines and this morning, Paul Gadd (aka Gary Glitter) was arrested as part of the police investigation into abuse allegations. I'm pretty sure he won't be the last and it is probably of little surprise that he's been the first.
In the US, the presidential election approaches and with it a huge storm which is bearing down on the East Coast. There is a possibility that Hurricane Sandy will hit New York in the next few days and preparations are being made for the worst should it come.

It is half term and my son has a whole week off school. He had his Harvest Festival on Thursday at our church in Dawsmere. It was very well attended and like last year, we were entertained with a selection of readings and songs performed by the children. This year, the harvest gifts were presented to Agape Food Bank Spalding, a clear indication of the struggle facing many families in the current economic climate.

My mental health has been steady for a couple of weeks now. Today I scored on Moodscope 62% which is my highest recorded so far. The graph clearly shows a steady increase in my mood but it's difficult to know what has caused it. I suspect that my being discharged from CBT has something to do with lowering my anxiety levels. I used to worry constantly about the next session and it really wasn't doing me any good. I'm careful not to over analyse things as this can cause a shift in mood. I'm just making the most of it while it lasts.

Finally, the clocks changed last night and we are now in Greenwich Mean Time. Everything feels a little odd. I've just glanced at my office clock and it says 5.45. Outside, it is getting quite dark but I've realised I haven't put my clock back an hour! Arrrrggghhh!!! Why can't they leave them alone?!

A New Season

Today is the first day of Winter. The clocks went back last night 1 hour and you get that strange feeling as if the time isn't right each time you look at the clock. It'll take a while to get used to but we'll all have to get used to the darker late afternoons for some time to come. This year though, Winter seems to fill people with dread. We've been warned to expect a severe Winter with snow, ice and cold. Problem is, it's still quite mild. We're being tricked into a false sense of security and the snow and ice will no doubt catch us all out again - as it seems to every year despite the warnings and countless predictions. Maybe it's what it is to be British...?

I find myself using analogies quite a lot, especially to describe situations. I find them very useful and an excellent way of enabling others to understand. For instance, I would describe my current situation as being likened to a train heading towards the buffers at the end of a long line. Each day, the buffers draw closer and the train shows no sign of slowing down. A set of points could save the train if they switched, but they don't. An injection of cash or a win of some kind could slow the train or stop it completely, but it doesn't. Or the buffers could be removed and replaced with more track, in effect giving me more time. I love analogies.

It's Hallowe'en tomorrow. It's the latest 'festival' to become over commercialised here in the UK. I'm amazed at how much has appeared in the shops aimed at youngsters - costumes, make-up, black cats, broomsticks, pumpkins and decorations. We bought my son a witches costume the other day. He's going to wear it tomorrow afternoon and visit family. I expect they will make a fuss of it at school tomorrow. Oh how his week off has flown by... It will soon be firework night and already rockets can be heard in the evening popping in the distance. As if anyone has the spare cash to spend on them. Apparently my in-laws are planning a firework party of sorts next weekend. They did one last year which was quite pleasant. Of course it's all for the youngsters really but I do confess to enjoying it somewhat.

In the news this last week has been Europe and a rescue plan to prevent the Euro from going bust. A vote for an EU referendum was quashed earlier in the week which could have seen a vote for whether we stay in the EU. And the week ended with the very sad news that Sir Jimmy Savile had passed away. For many youngsters nowadays, he will mean little to them but for me and many others my age, Jimmy Savile was part of our Saturday evening for many a year. The opening and closing credits of Jim'll Fix It symbolised fish fingers, crispy pancakes or perhaps bath-time for so many youngsters wishing that perhaps one day their dreams would come true and that someone would fix it for them.

I've watched Night Mail and I am now watching Terminus while I type this. I say watching it, it's playing on another monitor to the side of me. Terminus is one of the most fantastic films ever made and launched its director John Schlessinger into his prestigious film career.

My son is making cakes and they are now beginning to bake in the oven. What a wonderful smell...

I may be heading toward teaching. My lack of sufficient funds prevent me from gaining my PSV license and I really am well and truly stuck in a rut at the moment. I have been contacted by RDS who provide courses for would-be teachers and this may be a route I will take. As I may have mentioned before now, teaching is just about the only other thing I can see myself doing with any confidence. I've done a little in the past and really enjoyed it. The problem nowadays is the requirement for recognised teaching qualifications regardless of what experience or skills you possess.

I am adding a large extension to my friend's train layout. The plan is for a new branch line to circle a harbour and fishing village. The line will rise steadily until it is high enough to cross an existing line and then be carried on a bridge across a small town eventually connecting with the other end of the layout. I can't help but wonder if I've bitten off more than I can chew with this one. It's certainly ambitious and I've no idea if it will work.
I do enjoy my time working on the layout. It takes me away briefly from the stresses and strains of reality. It's a means of escape and I can immerse myself in the world of OO and 1/76th scale models. More importantly for me, it's something I have built and it's something I'm proud of.

Recollection - Schools TV

I've decided it is possible to find absolutely anything on YouTube. I have even managed to find the old TV schools programmes I was forced to watch as a primary school kid back in the early 80's. A lot of them were made by ATV before it became Central. Programmes like Stop Look Listen, Seeing & Doing, History Around You, Watch, Picture Box, to name just a few. They are all there, beatifully converted from old analogue videocassette to digital - preserved forever for all to enjoy. Oh how innocent and basic things were back then. I recall sitting cross legged in front of the school TV high on its mobile stand. There would be a first generation JVC video recorder in a steel case beneath it. Built like a tank with chunky jutting out buttons - then a wonder of technology, now a collectors item. Oh how I would enjoy our 15 minute escapes from classroom routine. Sometimes, if we were lucky, it would be 30 minues and on the last day of term we would all be squashed into the TV room for a Disney film. I also remember equipment was painted with LBB in bright yellow. I had no idea what it meant back then but now know it was to show it was owned by the county council and a deterrent against theft. The countdown clock was the most memorable thing about schools TV, normally white on a blue background. Nowadays it can be found online and even downloaded as a screensaver! I have them all. The countdown clock and schools TV will be imprinted in my memory for years to come. Little did I know back then how significant it would be...

The time

I've just looked at my clock and it said 1pm, plenty of time I thought before my wife gets home from work and from collecting our son. I walked to the kitchen to get some cereal and the clock there showed 2pm. Who didn't put his office clock forward the other day? Idiot.
I'm now officially operating on BST