What about teaching...?

... My wife asked. I didn't poo poo the idea straight away I have to admit. The idea of teaching has crossed my mind before. I did do a stint of teaching digital photography when I ran my little company. It was for a local college and though the pay wasn't brilliant, I did enjoy it. I also taught pilots at a local RAF base how to use computers and Windows applications. It was quite scary to find that the use of computers was not widespread. I enjoyed that a lot too. Now I'm wondering if I could teach basic IT to 1st and 2nd graders. Nothing too complicated, just a good solid grounding in computers, what they're used for and what makes them work. I wonder if I could do that? There does seem to be a teaching shortage here in the UK... I am always seeing lots of adds. I've been in IT for nearly 20 years. Could I be of some use by passing some of this knowledge on...?

Mmmmm... It's an option, maybe...

Power cut

We had a power interruption here at about 12.55  They used to happen quite a lot when I first moved here from London. Everything is carried on overhead lines and so are very vulnerable to high wind and storms.
Now I don't mind power cuts. However, when they last just 5 or 10 minutes, I get a little p'd off. If we've got to have one, at least make it worthwhile. I operate rather a lot of computer equipment. I used to have more and would have more if my wife allowed but all married men have to make sacrifices... We have a generator - 5 Kva - in the back yard. It's hard wired to the house with a fail-over switch inside, so all properly done. It's full of fuel but the battery is dud, and we don't have the money to renew it. Great eh?
It takes me a good 10-15 minutes to get everything up and running again and invariably there is at least one computer that isn't happy at being shutdown so rudely... All's well now though. Thank you Eon.

Washing on the line

My wife called and asked me to hang out the washing, as the weather had turned out nice. I don't know what it's like where she is but it's blowing a gale here - not cold but very windy. Much of it was my sons bedding from last night. Now I'm no expert at hanging washing but trying to do it in a gale is something else... I did manage it though and I haven't lost anything yet.
I've told myself I'm not going to eat too much today. I have a habit of, when left on my own, eating everything I can find. It's terrible. I know the funny little tablet I'm on can induce changes in appetite so I choose to blame that. So far this morning, I have just had toast. That's quite good for me.
I find myself now anticipating the arrival of the mail. I always know the postman is near as our dog goes nuts. There was a time when I couldn't go near the mail. I had developed a fear of what it contained - due to our debts. Thankfully we sorted things out and now I'm not so bad. If I suspect there's a letter from the bank, I'll still normally leave it for my wife. Phone calls can also be a problem. We were harassed so much by our bank that we took to disconnecting the phone and even now don't answer any calls unless we know who it is. I do have separate action with the Financial Ombudsman here in the UK against one of our banks. So far they have ruled in our favor. It remains a huge problem in the UK and I'm not alone in having suffered, sadly.

Justice

I've decided that there is no justice here in the UK. I suppose I decided that a while back when I began fighting to get my money back from a firm I'd bought a course from. As I mentioned previously, and to cut a long story short, they didn't provide the course and to date, haven't returned my money - a not so small £1,140  This was March 2010, so a year ago.
After countless unanswered letters, I decided to go to a solicitor. This was the mistake, thinking that a solicitor's letter would provoke a response from them. Wrong! So another was sent. Still no response. It s then recommended I take it to a small claims court. So taking the advice of my solicitor, that's what I did. By this time, I had received an invoice for £600. Thinking I would get this back, I paid it. The judge ruled in my favor after the firm failed to respond to any of the court's requests and they have ordered them to pay me back my money plus a measly £180 in costs... Shortly after this, I received another invoice for £400 from my solicitor.
So, I've actually got nowhere. I called the court and it turns out there is no guarantee the firm will follow the order of the court and that if I want to pursue it, I have to pay out more money for a 'Warrant of Execution'. Even then, there is no guarantee... It turns out the court have absolutely no power to force them to pay up. So where the hell is the justice in that???!!!
That's where I am, increasingly frustrated that I've got absolutely nowhere in 12 months. I cannot complete my training and therefore cannot pursue my new career, my 'plan'.
Arrrrggghhh!

Thursday morning musings

My poorly boy has decided he now wants to go to playschool. He claims he's well enough. Oh well, who am I to argue with a 4 year old...
So, home alone again - apart from the dog, who's upstairs somewhere. She stays up there during the day until my wife returns home.
It is really nice to see that I have a follower. It makes it all seem worthwhile and I'm really grateful that someone has taken the time to read my blog.
Weather here today is damp and breezy - a change from recent days. We can't expect anything too good here in the UK - any bit of sunshine, however brief is a bonus.
So, I've had my toast and marmalade and I have a coffee at my side. It will have to be the real ground stuff from tomorrow as I've run out of instant.
For some reason, I woke up this morning thinking about transport and getting from a to b. With the rising price of fuel here in the UK, it is becoming increasingly difficult for people to travel about independently - especially when you live like us in fairly remote parts of the country. I take an enormous interest in electric cars and the developments to make this a reality, hopefully in our lifetime. I do think it's inevitable that we will within a few years see a huge growth in electric vehicles. I understand that battery technology is the main factor holding things back but I did hear on the radio (think it was the World Service) something about an American company which had managed to create a battery that charges within minutes rather than hours. The problem was that it was large enough to power a mobile phone or PDA. They now had the challenge of making it large enough to power a small car. The role of the fuel station in the future would then be to charge vehicles which would take just a few minutes while you popped in to the shop to buy food and drink etc. All sounds good.
I would certainly be interested in a battery powered car. I've always driven large cars. I've had flash, fast cars - been there, done that - and my last car was a Chrysler Voyager. My wife called it my 'bus'. I did like it though - it was big enough to fit almost anything into and had an interior similar to a lounge. That's now all gone and given the state of things, none of it is likely to return. Not that I mind very much, I've done it.
A strange topic to start the day on I know, but it's foremost in my mind at the moment and if I get it out now, then I don't have to worry about it later.
I wonder then if 10 years from now, car talk will include things like 'miles per charge' and how my 'battery warning voice' sounds? When I look at how fast technology has moved on in the last 10-15 years, could it be a reality..?

Poorly boy

My son has developed a nasty cough - no doubt another bug he's picked up from playschool. I went up to him a few minutes ago as he was calling for us and while I was cluddling him, he threw up, and yes - I wasn't quick enough... Great. So looks like he's in with us tonight and he'll be at home with me tomorrow. We'll call for an appointment with the doc in the morning.
Poor lad - he does look pitiful. I know how he feels... I was in his position numerous times as a child - the scary thing is it really doesn't feel that long ago(!)
As an aside, my mother called me earlier this evening. BTW, my parents live just 3 miles down the road in the next village. I'll explain how this came to be sometime soon. Anyway, she called me to say that her digital TV box had 'gone bang' and now doesn't work. OK. She wanted me to drive down and re-tune her TV to analogue so she could watch her favourite TV programmes. I reminded her they have a perfectly good digi-box in the kitchen that they don't use - why not use that? Oh yes, that's a good idea...
My mum has a habit of doing things like this. She called this morning asking if I could take her to town. I had to remind her that I don't have the car. She said she would walk the 20 miles (there and back) instead as she couldn't wait until Friday - when I next have the car. What she doesn't know is that we all know she continues to smoke despite having given up 20 years ago... Quite how she thinks we don't know is startling given the fact the house is normally filled with the smell of cigarette smoke and is diluted with copious amounts of air freshner and perfume. For some reason, this serves only to intensify the smell. We all play along with it. There's a perfectly good little village store just down the road from them but as my dad goes there for the paper each morning, she fears getting found out so that's out. Oh what fun...
Right, I'd better go and see if I can squeeze into my bed. I reckon it's going to be a long night...

The right time

When's the right time to eat? Before I got married, I used to eat late - sometimes 8 or 9pm. Apparently this is too late, or so I've been told... My wife is developing a habit of making me eat when my son does at about 5-6pm. She also likes to eat at this time. My problem is that by 8pm, I'm feeling hungry again. What's the norm? Is there a norm? Surely with people working all hours it's something that depends on personal circumstance...
Thought I'd bring it up as it's nearing 5pm here and my wife's started the oven up...

The time

I've just looked at my clock and it said 1pm, plenty of time I thought before my wife gets home from work and from collecting our son. I walked to the kitchen to get some cereal and the clock there showed 2pm. Who didn't put his office clock forward the other day? Idiot.
I'm now officially operating on BST

Guilt

I get left 'home alone' quite a lot. Since my car went bang a few months ago, we're reduced to using my wife's little Fiesta. It works fine, but it's seen better days. My wife uses it for work so I'm here on my own a lot of the time. The first few hours are OK - I find things to do and I have chores. I do have an overriding sense of guilt each time I'm left. It's as if I should be somewhere else - pulling my weight and contributing. This is becoming a theme as being a house-husband isn't what I want. I feel inadequate and rarely is there a day when I feel I've accomplished anything of any worth. This blog keeps me occupied to a point. My wife sadly doesn't understand things like this, and if she did, she wouldn't be interested. Pouring your heart out to a computer would be alien to her.
Oh it's just started to rain here - by The Wash. It hasn't rained for ages. There's no washing hanging in the garden so I don't need to rush outside.
My company is the radio. It stops my mind from drifting off to memories of why I'm here stuck at home feeling useless.
Another thing... I've started groaning and grunting when I get up from a chair. That's not a good sign...
I don't get to work on my train set again until Friday. It used to be Thursdays as well but since losing my car, I have to stay at home. It saves fuel - which of course no one can afford at the moment. The train layout is my haven, my place of safety - away from all the nasty things. I can go in there and close the door, put the radio on and I'm in a different world almost - a miniature world that I'm creating. It's wrong that I should shut myself away and hide, but doesn't everyone to an extent? I'll get some more photos Friday as a lot has changed since the last lot were taken.

How to operate your Matt - Part 1

1. Operate in a moderate temperature and keep away from extreme heat and extreme cold.
2. Feed and water regularly. There will be times when your Matt will not eat. This is normal and is associated with his changes in mood, brought on by depression.
3. Your Matt chooses not to smoke. Instead he uses an electronic cigarette which is topped up with nicotine liquid. Your Matt will become distressed if he is separated from this device for long periods.
4. Matt can be disorganised and messy. This is normal though he will from time to time do domestic chores - especially if reminded to do so.
5. Matt can be forgetful. Do please remind regularly and leave notes wherever possible. Matt operates an electronic cork board - this can be found at http://corkboard.me/mFYWFSBvZh
6. Matt can be very loving and caring. His normal functions are sometimes affected by his medication. He has no control over this.
7. Matt can be simply clothed. He has no particular tastes in clothing and can be clothed very cheaply.
8. Routine is important for Matt to get through each day. He will operate to a fairly strict routine that can occasionally vary slightly. Interruptions to this routine are not recommended without sufficient prior notice.
9. Matt likes to go out and enjoys changes of scenery. He does though struggle in social situations and is very uncomfortable in crowds and at family gatherings. This is improving - slowly.
10. Matt is diabetic so has to follow a carefully managed diet to remain healthy. Occasionally, Matt doesn't follow this routine and can sometimes be found to sweat and appear dizzy or drunk. This is indicative of low sugar and corrective action is encouraged.
11. Matt will be drawn to buses and trains. This is part of his genetic make-up and cannot be changed. Do not be surprised if Matt becomes distracted when out and about.
12. Matt enjoys different types of music from a range of genres. He particularly enjoys listening to his large MP3 collection and radio. This he does whenever he can, particularly just before sleeping at night.
13. For entertainment, Matt enjoys TV, reading and radio. He also enjoys the company of his wife and son.
14. For communication, Matt uses a mobile phone but this is rarely in use and Matt does not often text or make calls. He has two main email accounts - mattw@zoo.co.uk and matt@pcknowledge.co.uk
15. Matt owns the domain www.pcknowledge.co.uk 
16. Matt suffers with back pain. It is treated with Tramadol. 
17. Matt enjoys meeting others but is sometimes very shy and won't often make the first move.
18. Matt often appears messy but with a little persuasion can modify his appearance within a few minutes to suit various occasions.
19. Matt has a very addictive personality. Don't be surprised if the same things are eaten for extended periods of time.
20. Matt is very interested in news and current affairs. He cannot be away from sources of news and information for long periods of time.

So, a bit about me...

Up until October 2009, I was an IT professional. I was working on IT projects and managing other IT people. I had been doing it for years, the same sort of stuff. There had been a gap from 2005 to October 2007 when I attempted to run my own little IT company. It went OK for a while and then the money began to dry up. I also didn't charge enough so we became completely unprofitable. 
So I began a new IT job in October 2007. During the months leading up to October 2009, my body and mind was beginning to tell me things weren't right and that I needed to do something. Tell tale things like heavy seats every morning, near constant headaches and sudden memory loss. To cut a long, painful and sorry story very short, in October 2009, it was agreed I would leave my highly paid job - the job that had meant security for me, my wife and my son.
It all came as a shock to everyone, but for me, although it was very sad, it meant release and an enormous weight was lifted - almost instantly. 
Everything was OK for the three months after - I was on full pay and I could use my company car. Soon after that though, money problems set in and the worry that brings. I then had what is medically known as 'a nervous breakdown'. It had been building apparently during the last year, 2009, but it hadn't been spotted. The signs were there, but I did my best to keep them under control.
I was in a very dark place for quite some time. This put an enormous strain on our marriage and I nearly lost my wife and son - more than once.
The health services here in Lincolnshire are very good. They take situations like mine very seriously and soon I was on tablets to make me happy and take the edge off my dark spells. I also saw someone I could talk to regularly and they helped me through it. All this time, I couldn't work - I'd been signed off - but in October last year, I decided I could begin looking for a new career. 
I knew I could never go back to IT. During 2009, I knew things were getting bad and I had decided I wanted to get out. Pressure from those around me and a feeling I had to carry on kept me working and I eventually crashed.
So, I now want to do something different... I want to drive for a living. My doctor and specialists suggested this would be good for me and be a change to what I'd been sued to for so many years. So that's what I'm doing. 
There is though a little problem. In March last year, I paid £1,140 to a company in Enfield UK to provide a PCV (Passenger Carrying Vehicle) course - so I could drive coaches for a living. To cut a long story short, I haven't had my course and I haven't seen my money either. Legal action ensued (brought by me) and this is still ongoing. They haven't followed the court order to return my money so I am now having to take further action - which will cost me money - in addition to the £1000 I have had to pay for our stupid pathetic legal system to bring this matter to court.
So, there we have it. I am currently out of work, hoping I can get my money back to that I can take my PCV course. I am IT skilled but cannot and will not go back into IT for fear of another breakdown. A lot of the jobs I go for I am too over-skilled for. There is an acute shortage of jobs here in the UK and I'm battling to keep my family together. 
Our home is OK. Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to take out a mortgage protection policy years ago. This runs for two years and will terminate February of next year, when we will then lose our home - if I don't find work this year.
How's that? Quite a mess eh? 
Well, at least I have a plan. My plan is to complete my training and gain my full PCV license. I'll be as happy as Larry driving my bus or coach backwards and forwards all day, coming home happy and not worrying all night about our department budget, a meeting the next day or a presentation the following week.
Am I the only one to have gone through something like this? I doubt it.

Aha, that's better

I've changed the title of my blog. I think this more closely describes what I'm about.. I thought this up while I was doing the washing up.

Rant

Not long back from a visit with the dog to Hunsatanton, Norfolk. I'm totally disgusted with the parking charges - particularly at the cliff top car park. There's absolutely NO justification for changing £5 for 2 hours. The site is poorly maintained, covered with holes (pits really) and one can only imagine we're being charged for the view - there's nothing else!

Rant over.