A Quick Catch-Up

A few days since my last post. The fact is I've been quite busy with the support group, specifically our funding bid and other paperwork that needed completing. It's all getting quite serious now. Tomorrow morning we have an appointment with the NatWest to open an account for the group for any funding we're lucky to receive and fundraising monies. We have formed a committee, of which I am membership secretary. I really didn't want too much responsibility and I'll be quite happy sending out welcome packs and newsletters. That'll do me just fine.
Yesterday, we spent several hours at our secretary's home completing the funding application form. What I thought would take a couple of hours ended up taking more than five! In truth we did keep deviating from the task in hand but we managed to complete it in the end.
Another task has been putting together the costs for our project and activities. We are aiming to provide various art and craft related activities as well as computer skills training and Internet access. I'm managing to keep the cost of the computers down by using refurbished laptops and I have managed to keep the cost of everything so far to about £1.5k. With the art and craft materials, we are currently up to £2,800.
I really hope we are awarded some funding, though it would be brilliant if we could get the full amount we're requesting. We'll be able to provide so much for our members.

Last Thursday saw our first parent's evening with my son's new teacher. To be honest we had our doubts about her but came away feeling quite reassured and confident that our son was being taught well. I felt strangely odd sat on a chair built for a five year old and confess to feeling a little intimidated, much like the way I felt as a school kid.

A small computer job locally brought in a little money which paid for an urgent replenishment of my e-cig liquid. I just wish I could get a few more jobs like this to provide a meagre income.

We had to visit the bank today to discuss our own mortgage which we've had problems paying since I fell ill. We are currently on a high interest rate with them (6.9%) and this changes in March next year to (3.9%) which will reduce our payments considerably. We've been told we can switch to interest only which will bring our payments down further to a manageable level which will be great and will take enormous pressure off my wife who is struggling to pay everything from her tiny part time wage. The arrangement we currently have with the bank ends this month, so we asked if this could be extended until February. Sadly they have refused despite knowing our situation. This means we will have to go back to the Citizen's Advice Bureau to get help to plead our case to the bank in the hope they will see sense. Three months will make very little difference to what we owe and our mortgage arrears, and I would have thought it would make more sense for the bank to show a little leniency, but they've chosen not to.
There are other options open to us but I'm hoping we can avoid them and with the help of the CAB come to some agreement for the next three months.

Despite the worries with the bank, I seem to be holding up quite well. I've been on a 'high' for a few weeks now which has enabled me to produce a lot of documentation for the group. Whatever chemical that keeps my mood in the right place seems to be topped-up at the moment. I wish I knew what keeps it regulated.

As I'm typing this, I hear on BBC Radio 5 that the last typewriter to be produced in the UK will be in Wrexham by Brother. The electric typewriter is being given to the Science Museum. How sad it is that something that revolutionised the way we communicated has been relegated to a display cabinet in a museum. I still feel determined for my son to have one.

Finally a little tip for motorists at this time of year. Do take a few minutes to check your tyre pressure. I did and found to my amazement that each front tyre was 10 PSI lower than they should have been. Now that I've corrected this, steering is feather-light and more importantly, we are saving fuel!

A Fine Course & A Broken BBC

A bit to catch up on in this post. My last week has been pretty good. I attended a Mental Health First Aid training course in Louth Thursday and Friday along with one of my support group colleagues. It was my first time in Louth since accidentally visiting it a few years ago in a desperate search for petrol one night. We were staying in Mablethorpe at the time.
The course was excellent. It was delivered by two of the finest mental health experts I know - Linda O'Hara and Jean Westcott. It covered every aspect of mental health first aid - the differing types of illness, causes, symptoms and treatments. They did very well to cram everything into two days and I found the course to be the most informative I have attended to date.
The attendees were made up of professionals, sufferers and parents - a real mix. During the introductions, the group found out that I help run a support group and this attracted considerable interest. I was reminded once again of the shortage of support services throughout the county. As a result, I was approached by two of the attendees - the first were parents who's son suffers with mental health problems. He is keen to find a support group in the area. The other is a chap who has served in the RAF for more than thirty years. He suffers PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and severe mental health problems. He too is keen to attend a support group, and doesn't mind travelling. I'm sure he will fit in very well, and I am confident the group will be able to provide the support and comfort he seeks.
We learnt a great deal, including how the government spending cuts are impacting on mental health services. It was worrying to hear that the Crisis Response Teams are only able to attend situations between the hours of 9-5 Monday to Friday. Anyone having a crisis outside of these times will have to wait until the service is next available. How terrible... I can honestly see a situation soon where trained volunteers will be required to provide these much needed services, much in the same way that David Cameron wishes to have a million trained Dementia Volunteers in the next couple of years to spot the early signs of Dementia.
It is very sad that the real sufferers of the government's spending cuts are those who most need the services that are being restricted and at worst, withdrawn completely. The cumulative effect can only be to increase fear and suffering, increase the risk of self-harm amongst the vulnerable, and increase further the number of needless suicides attributed to government health and welfare policy.
I nearly forgot to mention that we also came away from the course with our very first group fundraiser. She is the mother of a son who suffers, and she told me that she had decided to redirect all her fund raising activities to supporting our group. How wonderful and how kind that someone I hadn't met before has chosen to do this.

On the subject of Blue Skies, we now have our draft constitution which I need to edit slightly. We need this in order to open a bank account next week so we can deposit our funds and provide an account for any funding bid monies to be paid into. I'm not sure yet as the the position I will occupy on the Committee. I believe we need at least five committee members and we are required to meet regularly, similar to the way in which companies and CIC's operate. I should be in a better position to know what my duties and responsibilities will be next week.
I came away from the MHFA course with a load of leaflets and booklets on a broad range of mental health subjects. The information in them is very good so I have decided to set up a small library of documents and booklets available to the group. For the time being, it will need to be a mobile library that can be carried to each session. This will compliment what I already have available on my site.

I have to mention the crisis affecting the BBC. I do so as I'm actually quite fond of it and value greatly the quality and range of programming it makes available.
What is very clear to me is that a systemic failure has led to serious errors being made. The resignation of George Entwistle has been unavoidable given the lack of basic management that led to a film being shown accusing a senior public figure of one of the worst possible crimes. This film was shortly after transmission found to be wholly inaccurate and it beggars belief that such a film could have been shown unchecked and without being passed by someone in a senior management position. If I had been DG, I would certainly have requested that anything as high profile be shown to me first together with the supporting evidence. This clearly did not happen and I suspect George Entwistle won't be the last to fore go his position.
It really is so sad to see such an esteemed organisation as the BBC left open to such criticism and distrust, especially when the mistakes appear to be so rudimentary and basic. The live radio grilling by John Humphreys played a huge part in the events that led to Entwistle's resignation last night. It made for painful listening and it was clear that the damage caused by the on air mauling had been pretty massive.
Someone needs to take a firm hold of the BBC rudder to restore public confidence and instill a renewed code of ethics and editorial control.

The first weekend of the Winter

Winter is here and I've decided I want to get my son a typewriter for Christmas. This may sound odd, but I had a typewriter at a very young age and it was by using it that I learnt how to spell. I don't wish for him to have anything too big or complicated, just a simple portable model that he can learn on. I recall I used to copy large sections from books and as I came across a word I didn't know the meaning of, I would look it up. It was by using a typewriter that I learnt how to type letters and how to arrange them so they looked professional.
I don't want to force my son down this route. He has expressed an interest in having one and learning to use one and maybe he will become as enthusiastic as I did when I was his age. It would be nice if perhaps from this he began to be interested in words and their meanings. It's worth a try. After all, a typewriter isn't expensive - there are literally hundreds of them on eBay for as little as £10 or £20.

Friday last week and I was training again, this time in Lincoln at Involve in Mint Lane. I was with one of my group colleagues who drove us there for a 9.30 start. Although the course was on the subject of mental health, it was difficult (and still is) to understand exactly what the course is about. So far, we have looked at ways in which we can support ourselves personally if we are affected with Anxiety or Depression related mental illness. There are only two others attending the course so it's a jolly good job we turned up! The second part of the course is this coming Friday. So far the course has been unique.
We were invited to join the Renew Group who hold their gatherings at Involve - so we both joined which means we are now able to make use of their facilities as and when we wish. Being a similar type of support group ourselves, it was useful to become affiliated with them and I'm sure good things will come from it.

Earlier today I discovered a rather nice photograph in my parent's kitchen. It had appeared over the last week and it is one I hadn't seen before. It shows my mother, father, my nan and granddad and their daughter in law at Hastings on the East Sussex Coast. It was clearly taken sometime in the 1960's at a spot I'm quite familiar with. The quality of the photograph is excellent so I took a copy straight away.

The hairstyles are quite wonderful and clearly of a different era!

In the news, the Jimmy Savile scandal continues to steal the headlines and this morning, Paul Gadd (aka Gary Glitter) was arrested as part of the police investigation into abuse allegations. I'm pretty sure he won't be the last and it is probably of little surprise that he's been the first.
In the US, the presidential election approaches and with it a huge storm which is bearing down on the East Coast. There is a possibility that Hurricane Sandy will hit New York in the next few days and preparations are being made for the worst should it come.

It is half term and my son has a whole week off school. He had his Harvest Festival on Thursday at our church in Dawsmere. It was very well attended and like last year, we were entertained with a selection of readings and songs performed by the children. This year, the harvest gifts were presented to Agape Food Bank Spalding, a clear indication of the struggle facing many families in the current economic climate.

My mental health has been steady for a couple of weeks now. Today I scored on Moodscope 62% which is my highest recorded so far. The graph clearly shows a steady increase in my mood but it's difficult to know what has caused it. I suspect that my being discharged from CBT has something to do with lowering my anxiety levels. I used to worry constantly about the next session and it really wasn't doing me any good. I'm careful not to over analyse things as this can cause a shift in mood. I'm just making the most of it while it lasts.

Finally, the clocks changed last night and we are now in Greenwich Mean Time. Everything feels a little odd. I've just glanced at my office clock and it says 5.45. Outside, it is getting quite dark but I've realised I haven't put my clock back an hour! Arrrrggghhh!!! Why can't they leave them alone?!

Didn't We Do Well...

This weekend, like many others, I find myself a little more proud to be British and reminded of just how good we are as a country at putting on a good show. The opening ceremony for the Olympic Games on Friday was nothing less than stunning. It would be a waste of time to describe any of the content as no words of my own could really do it justice though I do feel TV viewers literally had the better seat as so much was going on in the display that being a live spectator would have afforded only a limited view of the whole thing.
It was very clear that, in addition to the very well choreographed history lesson, some of Danny Boyle's own passions were catered for, particularly the NHS and Great Ormond Street Hospital. This is of course at odds with our government, which up to now has been hell-bent on destroying it.

I do begin to find pessimism and a certain level of criticism giving way to pride and an acceptance that despite the glitches and doom laden predictions, the event is already a success. There are of course several weeks to go until the closing ceremony, but if things carry on just as they are then we should be able to look back on having hosted a Games event to be remembered for many years and for the right reasons.
The star of the show, it can be argued, was the Queen who starred alongside Daniel Craig in a James Bond spoof. This was itself a work of genius and I believe has shown us as a country that doesn't take itself too seriously. A great start.

Monday and Tuesday of last week were taken up on my ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training) course, held at the Johnson Hospital in Spalding. The course complimented SafeTalk and provides the skills required to recognise suicide risk and intervene.

Essentially, the initiative is being run in response to the increasing numbers of people who attempt to take their own lives each year. The training was excellent and very well organised. It's certainly not for everyone, and the subject matter is dark and at times runs quite deep. Many attending the course had experience of suicide and mental illness, and it provided a valuable opportunity for some networking and to inform others of the work I do in helping to run an Anxiety & Depression Support Group here in Spalding.
At the end of the course, we were invited to register as a responder. This involves being placed on a nationwide list of responders trained to intervene in situations where suicide is a risk. I did register myself, though I really hope I will never be called upon.
I will be developing a section on my website containing information about SafeTalk and ASIST over the coming weeks. Visit http://www.pcknowledge.co.uk/health

Thursday saw another meeting of our group and in a diversion to the norm, we all had a go at painting with acrylics. Emma had very kindly brought in some materials and somewhat tongue-in-cheek, we all produced a  mini work of art. Speaking for myself, it was about 25 years since I have done anything 'arty', and the other group members a great deal longer. Despite this, it was very much enjoyed and kept us all quiet for an hour while we concentrated deeply on recreating the images in our mind's eye.

Yesterday I did mention we'd had a go at painting to my dear friends and they have kindly agreed to come along one Thursday to give us some tuition . Quite why I hadn't thought of this before now, I really don't know. Their support and friendship in the group will be valued and I am confident they will fit in very well.
I'm hoping that painting and other crafts will catch-on and become a regular thing. We intend to put in a bid for arts and crafts materials in September when the second round of funding for mental health projects becomes available.
I have rather ambitiously added an arts and crafts section to my website and a gallery where our paintings will be displayed. I have uploaded our first attempts and these can be found on my website.

It is raining here as I type this, and we have had some heavy storms. As a result, I have a 'storm head'. It's a type of headache I get when the weather is stormy, probably caused by some kind of atmospherics. I did manage, before the storms arrived, to dig-up my first crop of potatoes from my patio grow bag and though not a huge harvest, I am very pleased with them.

I intend to have them with a pie later in the week. Having already tasted one, I can confirm they taste divine.
Also, I just had to include a photo I took earlier of a rather peculiar carrot my father dug-up...

While I have been typing this, I have forgotten to remember to bid on eBay for a truss girder bridge I've seen that would be ideal on the model railway layout I'm building. I've just taken a call from my friend asking if I was successful and had to admit that it had completely escaped my mind, like so many things lately. Such a shame as it would have been ideal for the position I have created for it.

My wife has had me trawling the Internet for cheap caravan breaks in Norfolk. Even the most basic of accommodation command ridiculous prices, some as high as £600 for a few days. I've left her with the laptop as I type this as there is only so much trawling I can bear, and after all she does know how much we have to spend, whereas I do not. So it looks like we may be having a mini break at some point in the next month. More details to follow, no doubt...

Getting My Throat Back...

My goodness, I've been poorly this last week and today is the first time I've felt able to write anything. My son had been suffering for some time with a cold he'd picked up from school. Schools are a breeding ground for all kinds of illness and there really isn't one week that passes when at least one member of his class isn't poorly. I normally do quite well by avoiding colds and viruses, in fact it's been over a year since I've had anything significant. Wherever this particular virus came from, it had my name on it and a payload designed to incapacitate. I don't think I've ever actually felt so ill. I knew I was coming down with something a week ago. It's that feeling you get that tells you a cold is on its way, or that precursor to a sore throat. Within a couple of days, it had properly hit but went straight for my throat rather than start in the nose or the chest. I'd wake feeling as though I'd swallowed a handful of razor blades, and so this continued all week. Unable to swallow, I've certainly lost some weight, which isn't a bad thing I suppose.
As it hadn't cleared by Friday, I made myself an appointment and popped along to the health centre to be told what I already knew, that I had a temperature and a chest infection. Amoxcillin was prescribed and plenty of fluids. It's certainly working. My throat is almost back to normal but I do have a chesty cough. But it does seem to be on the way out, thank goodness.

A busy week ahead (for me). Tomorrow I have some NHS training to attend in North Hykeham. I'm taking with me another support team volunteer as she doesn't drive so I'll need to collect her en-route from Spalding. I checked the route on Google Maps and it dawned on me how far we'll need to travel. It's a 120 mile round trip in total and I just hope the weather will be better tomorrow than it is right now.
I will attempt to write-up the training session and add to my website where I now have a small section on Health.

We've seen more flooding across the UK, most notably in Wales where rivers have breached their banks causing many thousands of pounds worth of damage. This morning there are reports of flooding in Sussex and frankly if this persistent rain doesn't stop, I see this being repeated here. I'm really getting fed up with writing about the weather. It is just so bad at the moment and so changeable. I know people for whom weather like this can make all the difference between getting up and about or staying in bed. It affects their mood greatly. I did pop out briefly to get a top-up voucher for my mobile and to drop off a pair of ear plugs I'd promised to a member of our group last week. He suffers with broken sleep due to noisy neighbours so I've recommended he use them. For the short time I was out, I got soaked so was glad to get back home in the dry.

I have a couple of computers to work on this week, from the same customer. One of them is a laptop, the same laptop I'd repaired a few weeks ago replacing the keyboard. This time, the laptop has been dropped and has a fault as a result. It'll need stripping down to find out what has become dislodged. The other is just a general tune-up.
I've also been asked to provide some basic computer tuition, but I am struggling with this as the person I will be teaching has absolutely no skills or knowledge, but is at the same time and expert when it comes to his own computer and the Internet, despite the fact he's not even connected(!) I just know this is going to be difficult and I wonder how my sanity will hold-up. I have for now managed to put him off due to my 'man-flu' but I just know I will have to bite the bullet at some point...

Still in one piece

I completed my driving assessment this morning. I arrived in good time and met a fellow trainee driver who had recently joined and was learning to be a PCV driver. He came with me together with the guy from HR and the driving instructor. We took the coach to the outskirts of Peterborough, my new (soon to be) colleague driving. Near to the A1, we parked up and it was my turn to take the controls. The size of the vehicle was daunting at first, but I soon found my confidence and managed a good hour's driving without any major problems. I did clip the curb a few times and managed to select the wrong lane using a roundabout, but on the whole I was quite pleased with my performance. I didn't hit anything and no harm came to my passengers - all three of them. In fact, I thoroughly enjoyed it. It is certainly the biggest vehicle I have driven to date - a Volvo B10M coach, but it handled much like a large car but not as fast of course.
I was told I would hear about my start date as soon as my medical is complete. I'm really looking forward to starting and knowing there is someone else learning to drive, I don't feel too bad.
I did try to get a photo but my phone had run out of memory. There'll be plenty more opportunities I'm sure
So the medical is next on my checklist. Get through this and my new career awaits...

Frustrating...

I really had hoped to have made some progress this week with either my loan request or with the courts in getting my money back from the bunch of crooks who currently have it. Unfortunately, I've made no headway with either hence the frustration. I've in fact had my loan request declined, even though it was for career training. This really surprised me given the fact I was led to believe that they would be able to help. I did have an appointment earlier today with an advisor at the local job centre. She told me that they have something known as the FSF (Flexible Support Fund) which they can use with discretion to assist people like me desperate to get back into work. The amount I am requesting is rather large though - £2000 to pay for my PCV training course. She did tell me she would approach her manager to see if it would be possible. I'm due to see her again on the 21st, next week when I'm hoping I will know either way. It was the first time I'd seen this particular advisor and she was very sympathetic and could see that I've done all I can to get the job I want. I was on a real downer yesterday because of it all. I seem to be taking one step forward followed by two steps back and it's beginning to take its toll a little now. Sunday only reinforced my determination to pursue my goal. There has to be a way...

Boston

Credit ratings have a firm grip on our lives and what we can or can't do. My credit rating is blown to pieces following a long period of illness when I was unable to pay things I owed. This I of course accept but it has now made any application for funds to assist with my training impossible. So tomorrow, I am off to Boston to see Taylor ITEX. I'd never heard of them before now but apparently they may be able to help with my training and more importantly the funding I need. PCV training is not cheap - I need about £2,500. It's a while since I've been to Boston - I try to avoid it if I can as it has one of the worst road layouts I know and the traffic is often horrendous. It's a worth a try though, they may be able to help. I do though have a feeling they'll just tell me everything I already know. I've already sorted out a training provider - I just need the money loaned to me so I can do the training, take my test and start working to pay back the money I owe. Simple really. My frustration with it all stems mainly from the fact that I'm owed money by the training provider I'm taking legal action against and now my credit card company who owe me £950 in overpayments. If I had the money owed me then I'd be at the wheel of a coach in Peterborough training right now...

As an aside, it is sad to note the demise of a well known local bus and coach operator - Carnell's of Long Sutton. They have gone into voluntary liquidation as a result of soaring fuel and operating costs. It's a real shame to see a local company 'go under'. They have been operating since 1969 and provided school bus services and local passenger services throughout the county. I see that the other major operator in the area have taken over their services and that a number of their drivers have found re-employment. I'm sure Carnell's aren't the first and certainly won't be the last to suffer from the extreme operating conditions imposed by our current government.

A few words of encouragement

I spoke a moment ago with a nice chap at a local bus company about PCV training. Although they sold their training vehicle, he encouraged me to stick with my current plan and give him a call once I've passed my test and have my license. I'm glad I spoke to him - he was very friendly and spotted straight away that I was a bit of an enthusiast and we chatted about old vehicles. So, I'm sticking with my original plan and if all goes well then I should be training from 20th June in Peterborough.
As an aside, I notice that my plan to win the Euromillions jackpot didn't come to fruition. In fact no one appears to have won it so next week's prize fund is a whopping £107,000,000! Personally I think it would make better sense for it to be split 10 ways to give more people a chance of living their dreams. Just what on Earth is someone expected to do with that amount of money? I suppose a million of it could be justified but surely there's a point at which a person would have bough everything they want...

Another step forward

Yesterday saw me take another step forward in my plan. I visited the local Citizens Advice bureau to get help with the legal action I'm taking. I didn't actually learn anything new, other than the fact I will need to take out an enforcement order. Normally this would cost a further £200 as was my gripe, but it's possible I may be able to get the fees waived. It does though mean loads more form filling but if it gets me my money back - which I consider as stolen - then that's a good thing.
I also completed my application to the bank for a PCDL (Professional Careers Development Loan). I had to visit my training provider who are in Peterborough to get them to stamp my form. Having filled in the rest, it's now on its way in the post so I'm hopeful I'll hear back from them soon. There is of course the very real chance they will reject my request, in which case I do have a contingency plan. Full of plans me!
So now I do what I'm good at - waiting. It does though make me feel I'm a little closer to my goal...