Catching up with the New Year

With all that's been going on, I'd almost forgotten about my blog. I've just been so busy with the work I do for Blue Skies and a few other jobs I'm doing for other people. In fact the work I do for Blue Skies is pretty much a full time job - unpaid of course as I am an NHS volunteer - and payment for me is seeing people leaving the group in a better state than when they arrived.

So much has happened since my last post. The weather has figured enormously and much of the country is still under water, especially the west where much of the Somerset Plains are submerged with villages literally cut off. As I type this, I see that Somerset have declared a 'major incident' and with the forecast predicting more heavy rain in the coming days, the situation there can only get worse. It's not good. There was something I was planning to write about, but it's gone completely out of my mind - as many things do. Unless I write things down and remember where I left the book or piece of paper I wrote them on, I forget. It's getting worse. My mind constantly malfunctions. If it were a computer, I would have thrown it out or sought an upgrade ages ago!

A bout of depression over New Year left me feeling there was little point to 2014. It took a long time for me to 'see sense' again and realise there's lots to look forward to. For the first time in over four years, I have a little money coming in. I'm being paid to look after social media accounts and a website for a friend who is trying to launch his business selling cosmetics and health & beauty products. I will also earn a little money spending time with a dear disabled friend of mine and I have my meagre expenses payments each month. I'm grateful to my friends who have all rallied round to help me which has enabled me to keep going with my volunteering work and avoid having to look for a job - a job I would have no hope of getting given my health problems. I'm in a 'good place' at the moment. There's so much going on in my head, I can't get myself adequately organised to formulate a proper post, but this can be seen as a stop-gap until I'm back in blogging mode once more. rest assured, there's plenty to come...

Hello to 2013

A good start to the New Year. We had a Group meeting this morning and though only a handful turned-up, it was very pleasant and for the first time we provided bacon rolls. I'd be aching to use the cooking facilities at our community centre venue and relishes the opportunity to play chef for the morning.

I'm typing this having just had dinner and two thirds of a bottle of Chilean red wine. I'm not drunk, just pleasantly tipsy. I hope everyone had had a good start to the New Year. Judging by the roads today, many opted to stay at home and take advantage of a long lay-in. I can't say I blame them.

Whoever you are and wherever you live, I wish you a very happy, peaceful and prosperous New Year.

Our Bloody Roads

It's an odd day today. It doesn't feel as if it fits in. I know it is Friday but it doesn't feel like it. We're in that bit in between Christmas and the New Year. Some people are back at work whilst others have cleverly booked the remainder of the year off, returning to work on January the 3rd or if they are lucky, the 7th.

I woke this morning to news of yet another tragedy to occur on our roads. This time it involved a car leaving the A47 near Walsoken en route to Wisbech yesterday evening. Somehow the car ended up on its side in a ditch and the accident claimed the lives of two young sisters, 7 and 10 from Sutton Bridge, not far from where I live here. Again we are reminded of just how dangerous our roads are. It is not known what caused the accident, but my belief that we have the most dangerous roads (and drivers) in the UK, here in Lincolnshire is strengthened by this latest incident. You really only need drive a few miles to witness some of the most appalling driving habits and risk taking. Poor driving skill is endemic throughout Lincolnshire, particularly in the most rural parts such as here in South Holland where roads are long, speed limits are higher and where police are scarce.

This month will certainly remembered for road tragedies. Earlier today I called my colleague to see how she was following her accident yesterday entering the center of Spalding. Her car too ended up on its side and it is amazing thats he managed to escape with just a few bruises. It is not known how the accident occurred though she claims to have blacked-out. How fortunate that it occurred where it did in a 30 mph zone and not on the busy A17 where cars and lorries hurtle along at 60 mph.

A few ore days of this holiday feeling and then my attention must turn to my role within our support group and creating a database of members' contact details. We should also hear around the 21st January if we have been successful in our bid for funding. Something else I aim to do is to apply for work with a company I stumbled across a couple of weeks ago, Silver Training. They provide in-home tutoring for people who want to learn more about their computers and those who want to install new printers and other peripherals. It is all stuff I have done in the past and maybe it will provide a worthwhile income which could help us immensely.

Another test of my anxiety is coming up tomorrow. We are having tea at my in-laws for a few hours from 4pm. I'm beginning to worry a little about it now. I know I shouldn't but it is a spontaneous reaction I have over which I have very little or no control. At least I can escape into the garden if things get too bad. I've done pretty well over Christmas. Despite is being just the three of us for most of the time, there was the odd occasion when I needed to be sociable, but I did seem to manage quite well.
Looking at my right hand, I am reminded of how bad things can get, particularly if I feel trapped. In a way it's good as it provides a kind of benchmark by which I judge other difficult situations. I don't know if I'm getting better at controlling my anxiety. I prefer to think that I am better at judging and avoiding situations where I could become anxious. I'm hoping it will go OK tomorrow.

A New Year & New Toys

It's a Bank Holiday here and we're making the most of the last day of the holiday season here in the UK. Christmas decorations are still up but we're taking them down tomorrow. Everything will seem so bland once they're down and it will really hit home that we've begun a new year. Celebrations here were pretty muted. For the first time in ages, my wife and I saw in the new year together. Normally she sleeps through it. My son wanted to see the fireworks and celebrations in London so I put it on a DVD for him. He's been watching it on his portable DVD player - one of his Birthday gifts.

There's much speculation in the media about what the new year will hold. We're told that the outlook is grim and that the effects of the recession will be more harsh than in 2011. For us, our biggest worry is what will happen to our home once our insurance stops paying out for the mortgage in February. No matter how hard I try to push it to the back of my mind, the stark reality is always there. I'm once again reliant on my wife to see us through whatever befalls us. We will have to meet with the bank in a couple of weeks to make them aware of our predicament and hope that they will take pity on us. I try not to worry, but it's difficult.

My support group have their first meeting of the year tomorrow and I'll be attending as normal. January is well known for bringing on bouts of depression as people come down from the high of the festive season to the reality of work, mounting debts and worry. I'm wondering how the members of our little group have coped. I'm lucky - I have a wonderful wife who makes everything right and without whom I would have nothing, be nothing. She puts up with a lot and I don't appreciate her enough. I know this. Depression is a very selfish illness. It affects at different levels, at different times and in different ways. It is a complicated illness. No two sufferers are the same. I am lucky to have her.

A bit of techie stuff and a welcome addition to our family is the Wii. It has in the last few days changed from being just a gaming console to a fully networked box of tricks which can now play DVD's, music, surf the Internet and interact with other computers. I was always aware that it was capable of far more than just game play so set about finding out how to apply 'Wii-hacks' to get it to do things it doesn't normally do. And I'm mighty pleased with the results. The games for the Wii are hugely expensive so the ability to download new free games is brilliant. Another function I find immensely useful is the ability to view YouTube content without the need to navigate the site. You simply enter what you're looking for and the Wii displays the videos available. You point to the one you want to watch and the video plays full screen, and in very good quality. It's all out there on the Internet.
I do need to find some software to assist my son with his typing and word skills. We bought him a keyboard for Christmas for hom to use on the Wii. It has chunky coloured keys and is built especially with children in mind. 

My wife's employer is popping round this afternoon. It's a New Year tradition. She'll want to see all the new toys my son received for Christmas and for his Birthday on the 27th. So of course the house is spotless in readiness. Unlike most employers, she is more of a friend to us and treats us all very well. She is always very generous and always buys gifts for our son. We're very fortunate really...