A Miracle Marathon and Needless Loss

Another week has passed, all too quickly. The past week has been a mix of political shambles, who said what to who, more Euro crisis and tragedy.
We did start the week on a high. Claire Lomas, paralysed from the chest down following a horse riding accident completed the London Marathon in 16 days. She was assisted by a pair of robotic legs which literally enabled her to walk. This is an amazing achievement and I am struggling to find the words to describe the admiration I have for someone so determined to succeed. The look on Claire's face as she reached the finish line said it all and it was deeply moving to see so many people present to congratulate her. The only sadness I have is the refusal of the Marathon organisers to award Claire a medal. Apparently some ridiculous rule requires the participant to complete the course the same day. I understand though that many fellow participants had graciously offered Claire their own medals in recognition. What a wonderful good news story.

In the news, this week will be remembered again for the Leveson Inquiry and the appearance of Andy Coulson and Rebecca Brooks. Once again we were treated to many hours of questioning and cross examination in light of the ongoing investigation into phone hacking and press ethics at the News of the World. At times, the questioning did become quite frosty and I do actually find these things very entertaining. I do consider myself a shroud judge of character and whether the truth is being told. Needless to say, I considered much of the responses given to questioning to be lacking in sincerity and honesty.
I am, like many, eagerly awaiting the appearance of Jeremy Hunt MP. This guarantees to be a very interesting event with enormous repercussions.

Europe has again been in the news and the increasing likelihood of Greece leaving the Euro. The inability of the current president to form a government will certainly result in fresh elections, but of greatest fear is the rise on popularity of the far right neo-fascist groups. These groups are firmly anti-austerity and more alarmingly, anti-immigrant. Should they reach the echelons of government then I fear very much for the future and whether such a movement could be confined to just Greece. I say this as there is an alarming trend toward anti-austerity developing with France being the latest country to reject the German led austerity plan.
At the moment, I can see no way out for Greece. The choice is to stay in the Euro and abide by the austerity agreement thus benefiting from further bail-out or reject the plan, default on their loan agreement and leave the Euro. The repercussions of the latter are being planned for at the moment by the major banking institutions, such is the belief that this is where the country is headed. It is uncharted territory as no country has before now ever left the Euro and returned to their former currency. Quite what effect this would have on an already fragile union is unknown, but it can't be good.

The last week will be remembered for tragedy which came to Derby in the form of a house fire claiming the lives of six children. Now, I really struggle with things like this. I simply cannot understand how, in 2012, house fires can still occur and moreover how a house fire could claim lives. Surely we live in an age now where things are designed not to burn rapidly? Surely we live in an age where every house must be fitted with smoke alarms by law? This was a council house, a well known council house having appeared on TV for a documentary made by Anne Widdecombe. At the very least, shouldn't the council have fitted smoke alarms and checked them regularly? I really struggle to understand. Of course, it is shocking beyond all comprehension at the loss of so much young life, their hopes, dreams and aspirations ahead of them.
I actually find myself feeling angry, angry that this kind of thing can still happen. The police are investigating of course, and if this was perpetrated by some sick individual, then I would wish nothing less than the ultimate penalty. If this was an accident, I still find it inexcusable that sufficient safeguards were not in place to prevent a fire from taking hold or to alert occupants to the danger. After all, this property was over-occupied and if the local authorities were aware of this, then responsibility is with them to ensure safety for all concerned.

I continue to work on my website. It has begun to evolve into a technology-focused site but with off-shoots to such things as railway modelling and gardening. I'm even thinking of a section devoted to road safety as thins is something I am passionate about. I'm hoping there will in time be at least something of interest to the visitor. Aware that a great many e-books are in the public domain, I have started listing some from my collection for download. So there's a great deal to keep me occupied at the moment, which is good. I've decided to continue producing a weekly audio journal which I'll record either Friday or Saturday of each week. This will be uploaded to the site each weekend.

Getting Through the Day

I've written before about my struggle with depression and anxiety, and the fact that some days are simply better than others. It's impossible to know how I will feel one day to the next, so I just take each day as it comes and try to get through it. Not working means spending a lot of time alone and it's these times that are the most challenging. The answer is to do things that keep me active and prevent me from drifting into thought - the kind of thoughts that remind me of failure and how I got to where I am now, having been active in the past earning a very good wage and paying my fair share of the bills. To start thinking about these things just sends me into a downward spiral and the result is a depressive bout for me and abject misery for everyone around me.
Thankfully, I've managed to keep myself out of my 'pit of despair' as I like to call it. There is a glimmer of hope that the only real assets I own, my private pension fund, may in some way be used to benefit us now rather than waiting until I'm 55. We really cannot wait that long and frankly we need the money now rather than later on.
I don't know yet if this is possible but I see there are numerous schemes all over the Internet claiming to be able to unlock pension funds. The way they do it is to invest your pension once you've transferred it to them into overseas funds or various other schemes thus making them money. In the meantime, they lend you the money you need and this is secured against your pension. But there are risks, big risks and you could end up paying back far more than you borrow. The same is true with any kind of lending, but with this you are dealing with large amounts of money. So I don't know if this will be possible for us. We are going to see a pension advisor so hope to find out more then.
Some days, despite wanting to do so much and achieve at least something, I end up doing nothing. The enthusiasm I woke up with that morning fizzled out over breakfast or whilst I read the news headlines. These days simply fill me with guilt and regret. Yes I've done things, but nothing practical or beneficial. I may have researched something on the Internet and discovered something I didn't already know, but this is of no benefit to me or mankind. I can't out this newly gained knowledge to any practical use, say to invent something new perhaps. These are zero days and count for very little in the grand scheme of things.
I saw the topic of depression appear on Twitter today. Peter Serafinowicz tweeted about a blog written by a sufferer and also mentioned that he too struggled with it. Again, I'd learnt something new. I had no idea he suffered with depression. When he's on the TV, he's always funny so why should I? But it's the same with all sufferers of depression. We don't wear labels or badges stating that we suffer with it. We don't turn a different colour when the next depressive bout descends. It is hidden. It happens a lot behind closed doors where we can't be seen. By its nature, it's very seldom on display in public. It doesn't travel well.
I don't know if there will ever be a cure. It would be nice if they could produce a tablet that prevented it, but everyone who suffers with depression seem to be different. Different things set them off and different things make them feel better. Some bouts last for a day, others for a week or more. It is far from straight forward and doubt whether fixing it for everyone will be that easy.

In the news, I see that the maniac hell bent on killing innocent men, women and children in France has been stopped. The fact that he was shot and killed by the police will be a comfort to all those affected by his killing spree. Personally, I would have liked to have seen him captured and made to face justice for his crimes, but this was clearly an unlikely outcome given the ferocity of of his attempt to evade capture and I accept that the police had no other option.

We've all been forced to accept the latest budget from our coalition government and the realisation that for many, life will become more difficult than it already is. Those who have worked all their lives and saved for a comfortable retirement appear to be hardest hit and I suspect their collective response will be felt come the general election.