A Needless Journey...?

Being diabetic means I have to be checked regularly by my GP and diabetic nurse. I don't mind this, it's all part of being a Type 2 Diabetic. A few months ago, I began Lantus insulin injections. I knew it was only a matter of time before the medication would cease to be effective and I had accepted the fact that I would at some point have to inject myself each day. To be honest, I'm quite comfortable with it though it was a little daunting at first. The needle is tiny and most of the time, I don't feel a thing. 

The move to insulin meant that I had to inform the DVLA. I've been quite open with them throughout and I've never heard anything from them until recently. They sent me a letter asking me to have a diabetic medical assessment with my GP. The form they sent him to complete was huge and I did feel a little sorry for him as he had claimed it had taken several hours to complete. I didn't doubt him - the form was the thickness of a short novel. Form completed, I expected them to be satisfied.
A few days later I received a call to tell me they need me to attend an assessment by one of their own appointed diabetes specialists. They told me they would send a form and that I would need to make the appointment myself and send the form back to them telling them the date and time of the appointment. I called the hospital at Peterborough and duly made the appointment. It's later this month, and though I don't object to the assessment, I'm a little put out at having to drive the nearly 40 miles each way to get to it. When I asked what it would entail, I was told it was to go through my last three months of readings (I have to test my blood sugar at least three times a day). It suddenly struck me that I am having to travel a fair distance to attend an appointment with a specialist, taking up his valuable time, and wasting mine, when I could just as easily email a copy of the readings to him. If that is indeed all he needs to see, then surely this would be more efficient?
I have to see a DVLA appointed specialist as I have a Class 2 license entitlement (buses and coaches), though I would never be employed to drive passengers because of my health. This all got me thinking some more and better still, why doesn't someone put a system in place whereby my readings are automatically sent to my GP or a database held by the NHS? The DVLA could then check at any time to see if I'm having any lows and how often. They could even set the system to 'alarm' whenever a reading is below 3 mmol sending an email to the GP, diabetic nurse or even the DVLA. It would certainly provide an incentive for sufferers to manage their condition. I know plenty of people who don't and I also knows what happens whenever I have a lapse in self-care.
I currently record my readings in a book, but I've started using an app on my iPad which plots my readings for me, producing a report for any period I choose. The app can be set to send reminders, alerts and even a report by email. I'm really hoping the specialist will want to see me for more than just a list of numbers. If not, I will certainly be saying something...

Looking back on March

I've decided to briefly reflect on the past month of March - my thoughts on a month when so much happened, not all of it good. Of course the last month will be remembered for two main events - the loss of Malaysian flight MH370 and Russia's intervention in Crimea - two events we thought were impossible in 2014.
We have been reminded that despite the wonders of modern day technology which track our every movement, it is still possible to lose an aircraft laden with passengers and crew. I have no doubts that everything possible is being done to locate the aircraft, though I can't help thinking that simple things could have been done to make the task a whole lot easier. One suggestion has been to make the 'black box' flight recorder float and the other has been to make the locator beacon more powerful with greater range and longer battery life. Both of these are easy to implement. In fact they were recommended some time ago but have yet to be acted upon.
March was also the month when East confronted West over Ukraine and Russia annexed Crimea in a move that risked returning us to the dark and fearful days of the Cold War. The question on everyone's lips was whether Russia would encroach deeper into Western Ukraine and other ex-Soviet states. Such a move would undoubtedly provoke a response from NATO which could easily lead to a full-on confrontation with all the dangers that would bring. It was all frankly unthinkable but everyone was wondering where it would all lead, though few dared talk about it. Thankfully, they are talking - the Russians and Americans that is, and this is good. Regardless of who called who, the only answer to this mess is through diplomacy and there is still hope that a solution can be found though I suspect relations will have been damaged for a long time to come. I always find in these situations, it is good to get the perspective of other news outlets for a balanced view on what is really going on. It is so easy to believe everything we see and hear. Look beyond our shores and we find a different view and perspective on events.
March was the month when I started insulin injections. I've been diabetic for some time now and it was controlled by various tablets quite well. I was always told that diabetes is something that will gradually get worse and more difficult to control so I knew it was only a matter of time before I would need insulin. I'm used to injecting - I've been on Lyxumia for some time and its appetite suppressing effect has allowed me to lose a lot of weight. Unfortunately as my weight has reduced, my blood sugar level has increased. I'm currently on 18 units of insulin each day and this is increased by two units every two days until my morning blood sugar reading is at or below 7.0 mmol. A treat of a cream cake earlier today sent my blood sugar level to 23.5 mmol, a stark reminder of how easy it is to give in to temptation and for my body to react - in my case with countless visits to the loo.
This month saw our bus project begin. We were able to draft in some extra help enabling us to access the engine for the first time and to attempt to charge the batteries.

Sadly the batteries won't hold any charge so we have issued a plea for replacements and a mechanic to give the engine the once-over prior to getting the bus MOT'd. I'm reminded that we have a 'long road ahead of us' but with more people involved, the more likely we are to get her back on the road where she belongs.
March 22nd was the day my brother-in-law married his childhood sweetheart at a ceremony held at Orton Hall in Peterborough. It was a day I will certainly never forget and I will remain forever proud of my son who performed his duty as ring-bearer perfectly.

Despite an ominous forecast, the weather for the ceremony and the photographs that followed was just right providing a bright blue sky for an already stunning backdrop. It really couldn't have been better.

Finally, today was the day that the clocks changed and we woke this morning to find that our 8 O'Clock's were 9 O'Clock's and our 9 O'Clock's were 10 O'Clock's and that we'd missed Broadcasting House. The people of Crimea woke to find that their 8 O'Clock was in fact 10 O'Clock having joined 'Moscow Time', thus cementing their reunion with the Russian Federation. I confess still getting used to it and as I glance out of my office, I see that it is still quite light. Despite having changed all the clocks in the house, there will still be one that I've missed! Farewell March. You reminded us of how big the world still is and that we have changed little in the last 25 years.

An Acceptable Risk...?

During the last visit to my diabetic clinic, I was asked to consider a new medication known as 'Victoza'. It is administered using an injection pen, once daily and it is known to work very well at lowering blood sugar levels and is also helpful in controlling weight.
I had for a long time been against any form of regular injection to help control my diabetes, viewing it as failure on my part. Having read the booklet I was given, it wasn't long before I was accepting the need for something more effective and seeing as I would need to inject just once a day, the idea began to gain favour with me.
As with all medication, I do like to do some research on the Internet to find out more about the tablets I take. I am particularly interested in finding out about how medicines are used in other countries and whether any adverse health risks resulting from taking them have been identified.

I have researched Victoza or Liraglutide as it is more commonly known and I have found a lot of information from various sources about its effectiveness in controlling blood sugar levels in Type 2 diabetics. This is good, but I have also found an alarming amount relating to the risk associated with thyroid cancer. It turns out that during tests on animals, an increase in the instances of thyroid cancers was detected. As a result, the medication in the US carries a 'Black Box' warning of the possible risk to humans of developing thyroid cancer. It is pointed out that the risk to humans has not been proved as no testing has been carried out and the medication hasn't been in use long enough for the results to be known. The FDA have however demanded that a 15 year study is undertaken amongst users of Victoza to detect any recorded increase in thyroid cancers.

Now, I worry about the slightest things, so you can imagine how this has me feeling at the moment. My relief at having been recommended a new medication to control my increasing blood sugar levels has now been replaced with a fear that, if the diabetes doesn't get me then thyroid cancer will. I know it sounds ridiculous but how much faith should I place in something that hasn't been properly tested? Should I take the medication knowing the risk, as the benefits outweigh the probability? It's very likely that should I develop thyroid cancers later on in life, no link would be made to my use of Victoza, and those that prescribed it would be long gone anyway, absolving themselves of any responsibility or blame.
I'm rather worried that when I visit my GP, he will claim to have no knowledge of the reported risks, and will look at me blankly when I raise it with him. He has done this before and it frustrates me immensely that I seem to be the only one prepared to do any research and to find out all I can about the tablets I put in me. I fear that the information I have discovered will again be dismissed as just rumour and speculation, but I am determined this time to press the point that a risk has been identified and that takers of Victoza are in effect live guinea pigs.
If I do consent to take the medication then I will insist that I am regularly tested for any abnormalities. I believe this is mandatory practise in other countries where Victoza has been approved, so it should be here in the UK.
Am I worrying needlessly? Most probably, but whilst there is sufficient concern, enough to warrant a FDA warning in the US then I can't help but be concerned.

The Vicious Circle

Yesterday I attended a diabetic clinic appointment. I had been dreading it for some time having missed my previous appointment. They are getting quite heavy on diabetes now and they send out reminders straight away. If you fail to contact them to arrange an appointment, it is made for you.
I knew I hadn't been managing my diabetes very well. I find the more I think about it, the more depressed I get. For me, it's just another reminder of where I have failed. To be honest, I have been eating pretty much according to my mood. I find that eating often raises my mood, particularly if the things I eat are the things I like. Of course, these are bad for me and it has resulted in my blood sugar levels increasing.
I hadn't really noticed any ill effects apart from a couple of days where I couldn't stop drinking. Like a fool, I didn't connect this to my diabetes but it was a sign that my sugar level was too high.

I had expected a 'telling off' and I got one. I was warned of all the bad things that can happen to me and that I was heading for a stroke at a very young age. To be honest, I have mentally prepared myself against some of the worst effects of diabetes. I know it isn't going to get better and it has already caused my thyroid to stop working. Blindness is something I have thought about, as there is a risk of my eyesight being damaged as the years progress. I've tried to imagine how I would cope and provided my surroundings remained pretty much the same then I think I would just about manage, with one or two modifications here and there. I know it sounds odd, but I am quite resigned to things deteriorating.

Trying to battle diabetes whilst trying to live with anxiety and depression is not easy. I try not to think about my diabetes and whether I am managing it or not as it just adds to my anxiety. Yesterday really brought it all home to me and I was depressed for the rest of the day. I'm not much better today. All this plays into the hands of my wife who despite the fact she has lived with my bouts of anxiety and depression, still fails to understand it. It's not simply something that can be turned on or off. There is often a trigger, and my trigger was my appointment with my diabetic nurse. It's always a vicious circle.
As with all bouts of depression, this one will pass and I will be back to 'normal', or whatever normal is. I was cheered up slightly this morning seeing my mum. I hadn't seen her all week and she could immediately see that things weren't right. She made me some breakfast and I took her to Long Sutton for her regular Saturday morning shop. As a treat, she took me in 'Possessions'. It's a large second hand store full of all sorts of things gathered from house clearances mainly. I love rummaging through things and often find a bargain. My wife calls it junk and 'crap', but for me it is the ultimate shopping experience. I'm not normally allowed anywhere near shops like this which made this morning all the more mood-lifting. There's nothing like sifting through a box of oddments only to find something rare, or to flick through a stack of records to find a long lost favourite. I always find something of interest and often end up hankering for the old days, when I had money and the freedom to buy whatever I wanted. For instance on this visit there was a wonderful Sony music system with double cassette deck and built in turntable for just £30. For its age, it was in remarkable condition and I would dearly have loved to have given it a home. Also, there was a rather nice colour laser printer with its own heavy duty desk and spare toner cartridges for £48. The desk alone was worth at least £50 and had clearly come from an office somewhere. The fact that there were several spare toners in unopened boxes would have guaranteed its operation for at least a couple of years, and the printer would have provided me a nice little project to keep myself busy with. But sadly I had to leave them there, giving them a last glance as I left with my ABBA boxed set of LP's and VHS video on the subject of Lincolnshire - all for just £1!

I will shortly head over to my friends place. I was debating whether I should, given my low mood, but I've decided it's probably the tonic I need to prevent me sinking further into a full depressive low. If I sit here all afternoon, it's bound to happen as I dredge up all the bad things about my life and my past failings. That's why writing this blog helps me enormously. It helps me to get things out instead of them building up inside and making me sink. I will be able to tell my friends about my appointment yesterday. They are both diabetic and know all too well the struggle of having to live with it as well as other illnesses. I know I will get a sympathetic ear there, particularly as they have seen me at my worst and know how easy it is for the depression to set in and take over. They also know that their home is a kind of refuge and way of escape for me whenever things get too much. I know it's wrong to run away from things or situations we don't like, but it's human nature to do so and as far as I'm concerned, if it makes me feel better then it's a good thing.

Well, that's made me feel a bit better, for now at least.