Is CBT the Answer...?

I've begun to understand what CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is all about. The penny has dropped, as it were. I had my latest session yesterday. It had been three weeks since my last one and I had hoped that my therapist would have forgotten all she had asked me to do. There is a lot of homework with CBT, you are expected to record so much about how you are feeling and what you are doing. When you suffer with anxiety and depression it is often the last thing you want to do. It is just another thing to worry about.

I do wonder if CBT can be a solution. I've been asked to record things I worry about together with my thoughts and actions to better understand why I begin to worry in the first place and to look at the actions I need to take to reduce the worry. The whole thing sort of makes sense. I can see how worrying about the same things - specifically in my case, money and diabetes - often end up in a spiral starting with worry and anxiety and ending up in a depressive low. CBT teaches you to break the cycle, but is it that easy?

If I take yesterday, I received a text from the bank, a text I had been expecting and dreading, ironically whilst I was waiting for my CBT session. The text asked me to call them and I knew it was about the payment arrangement I have for the mortgage. The arrangement has come to the end of its agreed three month period. The anxiety and worry set in immediately, and I was able to use my CBT session to focus on this.  The solution apparently is to analyse why I worry and become anxious and how these reactions will affect the outcome. It's obvious that getting worried isn't going to solve anything and avoiding things will only lead to a worst outcome. I recognise all this. But I find it impossible not to worry. I owe money to the bank, which I don't have at the moment.

I understand what CBT does. I also understand that it isn't a cure, rather it helps to explain why I react in certain ways and to therefore reduce the impact of an event or something that causes distress. I have to ask if I think it is doing me any good. Probably not. I came home from my CBT session worrying that I had to call the bank. The response by the bank to my dilemma was not as good as I had hoped for. Specifically they are prepared to extend my payment arrangement until December after which I'm required to pay the full amount of £950 a month. I've managed to buy a little more time but having to plead with them yesterday took all my strength. Did CBT help me? The answer is definitely no, as I'm now worrying about the next phone call in December.