Sinking a Little

I do feel as if I'm sinking today. I've been low for the last few days and I've been waking up depressed. The tiredness is ten times worse than normal and I can fall asleep in seconds if I don't fight the urge.
I haven't felt like this for a while. The bouts of depression are normally a few days apart but this one certainly has a tight hold at the moment.
I should be active. There are things I could be doing, but the energy simply isn't there. I cannot motivate myself to do much at all. I did vacuum this morning which I'm pleased about and I was going to do the washing-up from last night but we've run out of washing-up liquid.
I normally visit friends on a Saturday but I simply cannot today. I will go shopping with my wife instead and hopefully this will prevent me sinking any deeper. I really don't want the dark thoughts to come back.
My Moodscope rating is 8%.

Dementia - Discussing Is Understanding

I have written previously about my own experience with memory loss and dementia and how it can affect a relative. Dementia is certainly not an easy subject to write about, but in writing about it we understand it. By understanding it, we are able to spot the signs in others and hopefully discover how it is caused and how we can lessen its effects, or even better, prevent it altogether.
There are those who are uncomfortable with the subject. They find it hard to come to terms with the condition and would sooner not discuss it. Worst still, they choose not to accept the events and feel that such illnesses shouldn't be discussed, no matter how beneficial it may be to do so.
I spent considerable time researching dementia for a position I held a few years ago, and spent many hours with staff who cared for people suffering with dementia. On several occasions, I witnessed first hand the devastating effect of dementia.
My current work in mental health support and therapy brings me into contact with others who have been affected by dementia. My writing and recollections of my own experiences with dementia have provided a unique and personal perspective, and I have been encouraged by the responses I have received to continue in my work.

My work will continue be published via my website and through my Spalding based support group.

Writing Therapy

A few people have spoken to me about writing as therapy, aware that I use my blog for exactly that purpose - to record my thoughts of the now and to record my memories of the past, as I see them and as I recall certain events. Writing benefits me enormously. My blog is my personal journal, my record of my life and as much as I can recall from it. My writing is precious to me and absolutely no one will take it from me.

To encapsulate this, I have stumbled across a wonderful document entitled 'Writing as Therapy' which I've published on my website. It can be viewed or downloaded at
http://www.pcknowledge.co.uk/Health_Resources%20&%20Media.htm
Scroll down to the Documents section and you'll find it there.

Starting to get CBT

I had my fifth CBT session on Tuesday and I was told I have just three more to go before my course of therapy comes to an end. I think I am finally beginning to understand what it's all about, but I do still doubt whether it is the answer to everything.  It doesn't tackle the route causes of my anxiety and depression. They are still there. It does make me analyse problems and when I do worry, CBT makes me try to understand why I worry and how this gets worse through not doing anything to combat it.
It's easier said than done. I still fear the post. It's irrational I know but the arrival of the post brings on palpitations and sweating. I will not open it. Certain emails also have this effect and I have to ask my wife to read them for me. Utterly ridiculous I know.
CBT isn't the answer to everything. I have learnt how to understand better why I worry and how my anxiety can spiral out of control causing a severe bout of depression if not tackled. I'm aware of this. But applying the CBT methodology to every worry and fear is not possible.
I think I'm to begin focusing on assertiveness in the next session. That will be interesting. My years in middle and senior management taught me all I needed to know. But my breakdown three years ago took a lot from me including any degree of assertiveness I once had. In my view, you can only be assertive if you feel strong, and that's something I haven't been for a very long time.

Stoptober

It is Stoptober and smokers are being urged to give-up for the month of October. Sadly no one I know is taking the challenge. Now if they attached an electronic cigarette to every one of the leaflets, I can guarantee the success rate would go though the roof. I know because I use one. I get my high dose of nicotine without any of the harmful extras. For me it really is better than the real thing...

Family

What would we do without family...?

Blue Skies Funding

I've been told to expect this week the forms needed to submit our support group funding request from the mental health prevention fund. I believe we are in with a good chance of securing money for art and craft materials and computers enabling us to extend the range of activities and skills we are able to provide our group members.
I'm not too sure of the bid process, but having done countless business plans and proposals in the past, I don't foresee any real problems.
There is certainly a keenness for computer skills training which I can provide, and art classes will hopefully lead to us collaborating with ArtLinc and possibly exhibiting our works in their galleries. We will be visiting the ArtLinc Group at their Lincoln base very soon.
So all looking good so far, and we continue to attract new group members though we could certainly do with  some more men(!)