Fully Inducted

Yesterday I attended my Induction Course with the NHS in Sleaford. As a volunteer, it is mandatory for anyone working within the NHS to attend an Induction session to formerly introduce them to the organisation and to make them aware of various policies, procedures and regulations.
I was asked if I would provide a lift for another volunteer who lives in Spalding and this provided me some company on my journey.
I had become quite anxious before the course, similar to the anxiety attacks I would suffer before leaving for work at my previous job. I was more worried about not getting there on time or getting lost, as I have been known to do so in the past. My companion would have been of little use as it was her first visit. I really needn't have worried as we arrived with ten minutes to spare only to find that the course was almost twenty minutes late starting.
There were fifteen of us on the course, each of us working in various parts of the Trust as volunteers, our duties varied. The training was very informal and with plenty of coffee breaks, and a nice cold buffet was provided at lunch time.
The agenda for the day was quite lengthy and covered various topics such as life support, safeguarding and infection control. Not everything would apply to everyone, but it was all very interesting.

I particularly enjoyed the life support session. This involved the traditional use of a dummy to simulate the procedure for resuscitating someone who has stopped breathing.  It's surprised me just how tiring it can be to give thirty chest compressions and the weight needed to sufficiently depress the chest.
The safeguarding session was a reminder to us all of how much work goes on in the community to support and protect vulnerable children and adults. We were told of some recent cases where the safeguarding team have been involved and of the immense amount of work and attention paid to each individual. A lot of this work goes unseen and it was comforting to know that services such as this exist in the community.

Another enjoyable session was on infection control. We were shown how germs can remain on our hands despite vigorous washing and the effects that poor hygiene can have in a hospital environment. To demonstrate, we were asked to apply a soap to our hands and ensure we rubbed it in, especially between our fingers. We were then asked to place our hands into a box that shone a special light on our hands to indicate where germs were still present. The results were very interesting and showed that despite our attempts, our hands were still not completely free from germs.

The final session was to do with management of violence and aggression. We were told that on hospital wards, it is not uncommon for patients to lash out or become aggressive toward staff. On dementia wards, this is more common due to the mental state of the patient. Specialist training is now provided to all staff and volunteers as a result and this was a very enjoyable end to the days proceedings. I chose (wisely) not to take part in the physical part of the tuition, opting to sit and watch the demonstrations. It was quite a lot of fun, though we did all learn some simple manoeuvres to repel a would be attacker.

The whole day was very enjoyable. It was nice to meet others who give their time generously to help others. Most if not all have had first hand experience of mental health issues and they, like me had decided to give something back in the form of volunteer work within the Trust.

The Right Decision

I'm surprised to hear that disabled access ramps, though in use heavily during the Olympic and Paralympic Games, are not mandatory at all stations. Surely in 2012, we shouldn't even be questioning whether it is possible for someone using a wheelchair to board or alight from a train.

I accept the fact that platform heights vary across the network but this should in no way prohibit anyone from travelling by train regardless of their physical ability. I know of situations where train travel is not possible as there is no way of getting from one platform to another. At many stations, lifts a are not installed and where they are, they are for goods use only or cannot be operated due to a lack of trained staff. Added to this, most trains on the high speed trunk routes are not equipped to accept wheelchairs and in the few cases where it is possible, the user is confined to the vestibule area of the coach for the duration of their journey. Surely this has to be wrong. It is time for the right decisions to be made. We have the know how and we have the technology. There should be no more excuses.

More Able...

There has been some talk in the past few days as to whether we now view disabled people differently as a result of the Paralympic Games and the extensive media coverage. Personally, I would say that this Paralympic Games has done more for disabled awareness than ever before. It would be wrong to suggest that there has been an increase in sympathy - and most disabled people would not wish for this - but there has been an enormous increase in understanding and a realisation that disability should not confine people to their homes. The people we have seen competing in the last couple of weeks have shown us all that disability should not be a barrier and that much can be achieved with determination and hard work.

I also think that young children are more aware, than any other generation before them, of how disability can affect people but more importantly how such disability can be overcome to achieve great things. An example is how my son has sat glued to much of the Paralympics TV coverage and questioned the things he has seen, taking huge interest in those competing and their physical differences. As a result, I am confident he has learnt more in the last two weeks than he would in all his years at school. The experience of the last two weeks has been to educate, raise awareness and instill a profound respect for all those taking part. We often refer to the athletes of the Paralympic Games as being 'disabled', but are they? Would you call a double amputee who wins a 1400 meter race disabled? I wouldn't - they are more able than anyone...

The Vicious Circle

Yesterday I attended a diabetic clinic appointment. I had been dreading it for some time having missed my previous appointment. They are getting quite heavy on diabetes now and they send out reminders straight away. If you fail to contact them to arrange an appointment, it is made for you.
I knew I hadn't been managing my diabetes very well. I find the more I think about it, the more depressed I get. For me, it's just another reminder of where I have failed. To be honest, I have been eating pretty much according to my mood. I find that eating often raises my mood, particularly if the things I eat are the things I like. Of course, these are bad for me and it has resulted in my blood sugar levels increasing.
I hadn't really noticed any ill effects apart from a couple of days where I couldn't stop drinking. Like a fool, I didn't connect this to my diabetes but it was a sign that my sugar level was too high.

I had expected a 'telling off' and I got one. I was warned of all the bad things that can happen to me and that I was heading for a stroke at a very young age. To be honest, I have mentally prepared myself against some of the worst effects of diabetes. I know it isn't going to get better and it has already caused my thyroid to stop working. Blindness is something I have thought about, as there is a risk of my eyesight being damaged as the years progress. I've tried to imagine how I would cope and provided my surroundings remained pretty much the same then I think I would just about manage, with one or two modifications here and there. I know it sounds odd, but I am quite resigned to things deteriorating.

Trying to battle diabetes whilst trying to live with anxiety and depression is not easy. I try not to think about my diabetes and whether I am managing it or not as it just adds to my anxiety. Yesterday really brought it all home to me and I was depressed for the rest of the day. I'm not much better today. All this plays into the hands of my wife who despite the fact she has lived with my bouts of anxiety and depression, still fails to understand it. It's not simply something that can be turned on or off. There is often a trigger, and my trigger was my appointment with my diabetic nurse. It's always a vicious circle.
As with all bouts of depression, this one will pass and I will be back to 'normal', or whatever normal is. I was cheered up slightly this morning seeing my mum. I hadn't seen her all week and she could immediately see that things weren't right. She made me some breakfast and I took her to Long Sutton for her regular Saturday morning shop. As a treat, she took me in 'Possessions'. It's a large second hand store full of all sorts of things gathered from house clearances mainly. I love rummaging through things and often find a bargain. My wife calls it junk and 'crap', but for me it is the ultimate shopping experience. I'm not normally allowed anywhere near shops like this which made this morning all the more mood-lifting. There's nothing like sifting through a box of oddments only to find something rare, or to flick through a stack of records to find a long lost favourite. I always find something of interest and often end up hankering for the old days, when I had money and the freedom to buy whatever I wanted. For instance on this visit there was a wonderful Sony music system with double cassette deck and built in turntable for just £30. For its age, it was in remarkable condition and I would dearly have loved to have given it a home. Also, there was a rather nice colour laser printer with its own heavy duty desk and spare toner cartridges for £48. The desk alone was worth at least £50 and had clearly come from an office somewhere. The fact that there were several spare toners in unopened boxes would have guaranteed its operation for at least a couple of years, and the printer would have provided me a nice little project to keep myself busy with. But sadly I had to leave them there, giving them a last glance as I left with my ABBA boxed set of LP's and VHS video on the subject of Lincolnshire - all for just £1!

I will shortly head over to my friends place. I was debating whether I should, given my low mood, but I've decided it's probably the tonic I need to prevent me sinking further into a full depressive low. If I sit here all afternoon, it's bound to happen as I dredge up all the bad things about my life and my past failings. That's why writing this blog helps me enormously. It helps me to get things out instead of them building up inside and making me sink. I will be able to tell my friends about my appointment yesterday. They are both diabetic and know all too well the struggle of having to live with it as well as other illnesses. I know I will get a sympathetic ear there, particularly as they have seen me at my worst and know how easy it is for the depression to set in and take over. They also know that their home is a kind of refuge and way of escape for me whenever things get too much. I know it's wrong to run away from things or situations we don't like, but it's human nature to do so and as far as I'm concerned, if it makes me feel better then it's a good thing.

Well, that's made me feel a bit better, for now at least.

ATOS... This has to STOP

The people I support have had experience of ATOS. I have had experience of ATOS. We are all agreed that the treatment we received has been humiliating and demeaning, failing to take into consideration our mental condition or the professional opinions of doctors and psychiatrists.

I do find myself worrying for them. I am out of it thankfully. I was assessed a couple of years ago following my breakdown and I was deemed by ATOS to have nothing wrong with me and fit for work. I currently do not work. I also do not claim any benefits as I am not entitled to any as my wife works part time. I have had no money for the last 3 years, but I manage.

I fear that the policies of this government and the actions of ATOS will drive many already ill and disabled people to the brink of despair and beyond. I am already beginning to research the number of deaths that can be directly attributed to ATOS assessments and I am deeply concerned by what I am finding. 

Something has to give and this situation simply cannot be allowed to continue. 

A couple of images published today on Facebook, though extreme do describe the current situation very well...

An Anxious First Day Back

I think I was feeling more anxious than my son. It was his first day back to school today after the long Summer holiday. He told us he didn't want to go, but thankfully we didn't have any tears or tantrums I suspect were occurring in homes all over the country.
I didn't expect I would feel so anxious. I had the same feelings I used to have when I was young, dreading the return to school after a break or weekend. I hated it and the feelings all came flooding back this morning. I even felt myself beginning to sweat in the same way I would before school or before leaving for work. I had to keep reminding myself that I was at home, and would be staying here for the anxiety to dissipate.
To make matters worse, he has a new teacher. He was very fond of his old teacher. She has moved on to teach older children at another local school. He has met the new teacher before, she took a lesson last term so he has had brief experience of her.
This morning, all the children in my son's class were required to bring in a box with some of their favourite things inside. My wife spent most of last evening making sure it was complete and I printed some photos out to put inside.
The house feels empty. My wife has gone to work and my son is at school. I do have the dog, but she goes upstairs to sulk on our bed only venturing downstairs if she thinks she is going to get a treat, or when the postman calls.
It is surprising though just how quickly the hours go by, and it will soon be 3.15 and time to go and collect him. He'll be excited to be coming home and remembering very little of his day at school, volunteering only the most scant details, as is usual.
Things are back to normal today. My wife is at work, I am feeling guilty that she has to, and my son is back at school. I am sat here typing, transferring my thoughts to my blog and updating my website. There's something safe and comfortable about being back to normal, probably something to do with my need for routine. Tomorrow will be just the same.

A Day Trip to York

We finally had our day trip to York. We were determined to do it while our son was on his summer school holiday, after all we'd been unable to take him anywhere else due to the ridiculous inflated cost of doing anything.
A week ago, we had decided to invest in a family railcard. My wife had been told by one of her customers that it would save as much as 50% on standard fares and that in a short time it would pay for itself. The railcard was £28 and it arrived in a couple of days. We booked the tickets on line and using the railcard, we did indeed manage to reduce our fare - two adults and one child, Peterborough to York return - from £145 to £68, a huge saving. We would never had been able to afford the full fare and to be quite honest, even if we had I would have struggled to pay it. So we booked our tickets and arranged for them to be collected from the machine at the station. I had done this before and it's very convenient.
We drove to Peterborough. Being a Sunday, there wasn't a great deal of traffic and in about 40 minutes, we were at the station. There is a large station car park adjacent to the station so we parked in there. They wanted £5.50 for all day parking which I thought to be quite reasonable. Now when I had parked there before, it was possible to exit the car park by a short path that led straight to the station entrance. For some idiotic reason, this had been closed by East Coast and we had to exit the car park by the main road and then walk back down the exit road to the station. Surely this is just a case of sour grapes on the part of East Coast who have their own car park the other end of the station. How utterly petty and ridiculous.

Car park owner Gary McArdle at the pedestrian access point blocked off by East Coast

It's been a while since I've been to Peterborough Station and I was quite shocked to find that it now resembles a flight terminal having received a complete makeover. It now looks clean and slick with barriers and a very attractive customer service desk with smartly dressed staff in attendance. I was very impressed. It looked professional, smart and clean.

We collected our tickets from a very modern looking terminal with a large touch screen interface and were greeted as we passed through the barrier onto the platform. The station and platforms still retain much of their original architecture which was comforting. Not everything had been given a smart clean modern look, but the platforms were nonetheless tidy and free from litter and cigarette butts.
Our train was on time, the 1015 Kings Cross - Edinburgh service calling at Retford and Doncaster before reaching York at 1133. The train was on time and like all trains on the East Coast mainline, it was busy. Luckily we'd had the foresight to reserve our seats which we found very easily in coach C. My wife and son sat together and had a table whereas I was a seat behind on the other side of the coach. They were joined by a grandfather and his granddaughter who were travelling north of Newcastle. The granddaughter was gorgeous, a little younger than my son and they soon became best friends exchanging names, pictures and the sort of information known only to children of that age. In the seats opposite were a party of four Chinese students and they were enthralled by the young girl. They very kindly offered sweets and one of them drew a very nice caricature for the girl and gave it to her as a gift. How nice it was to be on a train with such nice friendly people. So the whole journey was very pleasant. I could see my son and his companion from my seat and my wife was able to glance over to me. I was seated next to a father. His son and daughter sat in the seats opposite me and they were clearly wealthy and very much in tune with current technology. The daughter appeared to be of similar age to my son and she spent the journey glued to her iPad wearing Bose headphones and watching a film. Her brother sat playing a game and flicking through apps on his iPhone. Their father meanwhile played a game on his Nintendo DS whilst trying to rest his head using an inflatable cushion he had brought for the journey. I began to wish I had brought my Kindle along for the journey and I felt a little out of place simply leafing my way through my copy of the Sunday Express. I was struck by the amount of technology around about me. The welcome message via the speaker system from the 'train manager' was warm and inviting and even refered to power points being available at every seat for portable devices and laptops, and even free WIFI available throughout the train. How things have changed.
We soon reached York and saying our farewells to our temporary companions, we stayed on the platform to wave to them as the train departed to continue its journey north. I could see that my son was already overwhelmed. York is one of the largest stations in the country and he was struggling to take in all that was happening all around him.
We exited the station and decided to take the sightseeing bus for a trip around York. It was mild and sunny so the perfect weather to sit on the top deck. My son very excited and really enjoyed the experience. An audio commentary explained about what we were seeing and the bus made its way in and out of the historic wall, past the York castle and museum and onto the Terry's chocolate factory, closed for many years and now awaiting transformation into a shopping complex and hotel.
In just under an hour, we were back at the station and we decided to walk the short distance to the Railway Museum, for me the highlight of our visit. I have been a few times in the past, and on each visit, the museum has looked different. The latest changes have resulted in a large reference area and library and the addition of an outside area where train rides are provided and a family area has been created. It has certainly made the place more family-friendly which is a good thing. The ability to step outside and sit in a quiet grassed area was very welcome, particularly as it was a very warm humid sort of day. We had some lunch outside and my son and I enjoyed a ride on a miniature train and a short ride hauled by Stephenson's Rocket, one of the first steam locomotives ever built.

The Railway Museum is a place I can spend many hours in. There is so much to see and do. The workshop contained two of the country's most famous and most loved locomotives - Mallard and Flying Scotsman - both of which were being repainted. I tried explaining to my son the significance of these two beautiful engines but I think it was rather lost on him as he detoured to the next interactive exhibit. Maybe in a few years...

Being accompanied by my son and wife meant that I couldn't spend as long as I wanted at each exhibit. I held them up each time and felt compelled to keep up with them. The museum was certainly bigger and better than ever and I felt sure that I would return again.
On our way to the museum, my son had spotted the road train, a service run by the museum to York Minster. It was waiting to leave when we left the museum so we hopped on for the short trip to the magnificent cathedral. The bells were in full peel as we approached and tourists filled the area, eagerly photographing the architecture of the Minster as it towered above us glowing in the bright sunshine.

We had a short walk through the ancient streets with their quaint shops and street artists. Sweet enticing aromas drifted from the shop entrances as we passed and served to remind me that we were in a special place surrounded by many hundreds of years of history.

We decided a take another open top bus trip as our ticket entitled us to unlimited travel. This time we had a tour guide who sat at the front with a microphone providing an excellent narration as we twisted our way through the narrow roads and past the ancient buildings and monuments. It struck me as we made our way how much lower the old buildings are to the rest of the city. This we were told is due to the many years of demolishing and rebuilding resulting in most of the modern city sitting several feet higher than the old. Another feature of York are the black cats, many of which can be found in different positions on many of the buildings. No one knows the origin of these black cats and why they are there, but I soon found myself scanning each building to find them.

The bus stopped at the station and we checked the times for the trains back to Peterborough. The platform was busy, many people with cases or backpacks full to bursting. The display board showed there was a train due and another half an hour later. When the train did arrive, we could see it was very full and many of those boarding would have to stand, so we decided to wait for the next one. We weren't in a hurry after all, and I do enjoy sitting on platforms watching the trains come and go and the variety of different people. The next train arrived, but was running a little late. A problem with water meant it had to wait for a delivery to arrive and this train too was very full. We also discovered it wasn't stopping on its way to Kings Cross so we waited for the next one. As we had an open return ticket, we couldn't reserve our seats so when we boarded our train back to Peterborough, all the seats we found to be reserved so we had to perch in the vestibule at the end of the coach. After a while my legs began to tire so I sat on the floor for a while. Most uncomfortable. In hindsight, we should have reserved seats but this would have meant making sure we were at the station for a particular train. It's something we'll certainly do in future, as I know these trains are normally very full at the best of times.
We were back in Peterborough for about 6.30pm and stopped for something to eat on the way home.