Pirates & A Titanic Week

Another week has passed and not a great deal has changed. My attempt last Tuesday to reap some kind of reward from my private pension pretty much failed, though the chap we went to see did comment that it was one of the largest he'd seen for someone of my age. Sounds good I know, but a fat lot of good it will do me at the moment. At 55 (in 16 years from now), I will have access to it but nothing can be done with it until then. It is possible, he told us, to transfer the fund to the bank but it couldn't be used as security against our house. So that's that. I'm sitting on a small fortune but can't do a thing with it.

On Monday of last week, my wife and I took our son to see the new Pirates film at the King's Lynn cinema. We were determined to treat him ourselves after his trip to London and found that tickets were being sold at half price - £3 instead of £6. So we booked them online, which turned out to be a good thing as when we got there, it was sold out and the queues were very long indeed. It had been some time since we had been to the cinema and it was the first time we had ever taken our son. The film was in 3D so we each had a pair of 3D specs and found seats down at the front. I'd never seen a 3D film before and had thought it was all a little over-hyped but I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed it and found the whole effect quite wonderful. My son was quite enthralled and at several points during the film he raised his hand to touch whatever he thought had appeared in front of him. I have only one complaint and that is to do with the brightness and contrast of the film. I'm aware that they now use digital projectors over the traditional film and I did find the whole thing a little dim. But all in all it was a very nice experience and the film was pretty good too. I tell a lie, there is another little niggle and that's to do with the people we had to share the film with. The constant up and down of people to relieve themselves and the consuming of food really was quite irritating. A child behind us could be heard crunching its way through a boiled sweet and someone else a couple of rows away rustled a bag of some kind from beginning to end. You've probably guessed that I'm not a big fan of the cinema - I much prefer to recreate the experience in the comfort of my own home.

This week will be remembered for the 100 year anniversary of the Titanic disaster. Now I know there are some who are frankly a little sick of the numerous documentaries and general media coverage and I suppose there is a level of sympathy for this. I do though think it is important to mark the event and for those who have links to the lost, this anniversary has a special significance.

I've written of my fascination for Twitter and I have to say that I have certainly developed a keen fondness for it. I'm not quite at the stage of checking every two or three minutes but I do find myself updating my status at least once an hour. I do also really quite heavily on it for news and celebrity gossip. Breaking news does seem to appear on Twitter before it does anywhere else and where else could you discover what  your favourite celebrity had for breakfast or what their pet looks like? Trivial I know but for me it is another source of information. It's a constant stream of 140 character nuggets. Most of them are rubbish, but once in a while you do come across gold.

I am toying with the idea of keeping an audio journal. I think I've mentioned it before but this time I'm pretty determined to get it going. I really want to leave something in addition to the usual written thoughts and photographs. They won't be very long in length unless I have a lot on my mind. They will simply journal my life, as it is, day by day. I do already listen to a couple of audio journals, one from Richard Vobes and the other by Lloyd Bayley. They are both quite unique and in their own way very interesting.

I was going to complete a job application I had started a few days ago. It is for the role of IT Technician, again at a local (ish) school. I had pretty near completed it this afternoon when I discovered the position reported to an IT Manager. This immediately precludes me from the role as I have held senior positions previously so I didn't take the application ny further. It's a shame as it's the sort of role I'm looking for. The problem I have is the fact that I've held very senior positions and therefore applying for and being accepted for lesser roles is damn near impossible, such is my dilema.

As for my 'elephant in the room', I've been pretty much OK this last week, apart from the constant financial worries and fear of the post. I hate receiving post, particularly anything in a brown envelope or marked 'personal' or 'confidential'. I've written before that it's a constant struggle to stay above the water. Provided we managed to avoid a crisis, then I seem to cope. We're contributing a little toward the mortgage which is keeping the wolves from the door but it can't continue indefinitely. I know this. I'm made to feel worse this week as, because of our wonderful government's tax changes, my wife now has to work an additional day each week for us to continue to receive working tax credit. My wife had always wanted to reduce her hours to spend more time with our son, and hopefully care for a second child. This all seems further away than ever and I simply cannot see any remedy to the situation.

New Neighbours

We have new neighbour's. They moved-in during the last week slowly bringing their possessions by car and people carrier. I don't know where they are from or how long they will be staying. You see the property next to us is rented. The last people who lived there were foreign and from Eastern Europe. They never spoke a word and all the time they lived there, apart from their parties well into the night, they kept themselves to themselves. They left overnight, one day they were there, the next they were gone. I assume they went back home, but they could be anywhere.
Our new neighbour's appear to be a family and natives to the UK. They haven't spoken yet and will most probably also keep themselves to themselves. People around here do. They're a strange lot really as I know in other parts of the world, a point is made of making yourself known to your neighbour. Here it is very different. People seem to move here to get away from people and many shut themselves away behind tall fences and trees. We have many around here that do just that. They are very seldom seen. Strange people indeed in the eyes of many but I suspect there are many who hanker for a life away from the prying eyes of others, however well meaning they may be. I expect that over time will will come to know them better as they slowly relax their guard and realise that we are quite normal, talk the same language and perhaps have much in common. Whatever their origin or reason for living here, I wish them well in their new abode.

Yesterday was the 158th Boat Race to take place on the Thames. Unfortunately the race was disrupted by a protester who swam in front of the boats causing them to stop. Trenton Oldfield was removed from the water and now faces a public disorder charge. What is significant to me is the fact that someone was able to swim so close to the event. I worry very much for the Jubilee and the Olympic Games, two huge events taking place in London and around the UK in the coming months. I predict that we will be seeing many more attempts to protest and disrupt both events and while security remains lax, I fear that we could face far worse than a lone protester. I really hope I won't be looking back in a few months from now reciting this paragraph.

Earlier today I listened to a wonderful programme on BBC Radio 4, The Reunion, which brought together former Greenham Common women protesters with those in charge of protecting the newly stationed nuclear deterrent. This has long been a subject that fascinates me, when utter madness driven by fear was driving our politics.  The fact that I lived through one of the most precarious periods in history blissfully unaware of the true danger hanging over all our heads. I of course knew that Greenham Common was significant as it headlined the TV news for much of the 1980's. I recall the images of the human chains formed by women protesters and the police wrenching them from the wire fences and the paths of convoys. It was never explained to me back then exactly what was going on. I am sure my parents and teachers knew but I wonder if they paid much attention to it. In the end I had to find out about much of it myself and it's only really in the last 5-10 years that I've managed to fully understand the events and their importance. What was clear from the programme was that the feelings and opposing views were as alive today as they were back then 20 years ago. There is still even an element of anger between the protesters and members of the military at how the women had been treated, the wounds still very raw. It was fascinating to see that the same political doctrine that existed back then responsible for the placing of cruise missiles in the UK is still alive today, and although the missiles were removed between 1989 and 1991, they do still exist.

In other news, teachers have balloted for strike action in the Autumn and I'm afraid that I do find myself sympathising with them and supporting them. The jobs they do have become intolerably difficult and frankly, they deserve more. They also have the right to work to a realistic age knowing they will have sufficient pension funds to provide for a comfortable retirement. It is complete madness, as I heard on BBC Radio 5 Live during the last week, to expect a PE teacher to work until he or she is 67. This is a real case and one which defies common sense. Teachers deserve better.

Government websites have come under attack over the weekend from the hacking group 'Anonymous'. They have forced a Denial of Service attack against the Foreign Office and Number 10 websites. This eventually leads to the site crashing unable to process the enormous number of requests. Unfortunately, I fear this is something we are all going to have to get used to. Online information is extremely vulnerable, it always has been and always will be. This will be a huge embarrassment for the government but it should also be a wake up call to highlight our reliance on a still young and relatively insecure Internet.

My Son's Away Day

My son is off to London tomorrow. It' his first visit and he's really excited about seeing the sights and a long ride on the train. He'll have a great time. I am though slightly put out that it won't be his parents taking him. I've written about this before, my in-law's generosity. They do the things that my wife and I can't afford to. Of course that's fine and a lot of the places they go to on holiday would never appeal to me at all. But when it
involves my son, I'm just made to feel useless and a bad father. I would love to see my son's face as he stares up at Big Ben or walks across Tower Bridge. I just wish I had the money to spend on a trip to London. But I don't and once again I am indebted to my in-laws for doing the things I should be.

We have had a hosepipe ban imposed on us today. It's not just us, but most of the south-east of the UK as far as Yorkshire. We are now officially in a drought and must begin using water sparingly. If we don't then we are told we will face a crisis resulting in further restrictions and rationing. I'm not actually a hosepipe user. I use a watering can in the garden filled from a water butt that collects rain from the downpipes. It is currently full following the heavy rain yesterday and should last about a week.

A Mad, Mad Week

An extraordinary week and one that will be remembered for all the wrong reasons.

Firstly we had an utter fiasco over fuel supply and comments made by the government that led us all to rush to the pumps to fill our cars. This sudden surge in demand soon caused filling station supplies to deplete and we now have many standing empty awaiting their next delivery.
It is true in my view that the government have handled the situation very badly. Long before now, we have been aware of a likely dispute involving tanker drivers though this in itself hadn't caused the widespread panic we have witnessed over the last few days. The comments made by Francis Maude and others suggesting that we top-up and keep a reserve 'just in case' inevitably led many to rush to the pumps and cause an unsustainable peak in demand.
The government don't need me to criticise their handling of the situation, there are enough already doing so. But a little thought before public statements are made would go a long way in preventing this type of thing from happening.
The situation now is that demand is now decreasing and we should return to a normal level of 'supply and demand'. There are though areas such as mine here in South Holland that will suffer for a few more days to come as filling stations await much needed deliveries of fuel. Locally, all filling stations are without fuel and there is little or no information concerning others in neighbouring towns. This leads me to my main bugbear of the whole fiasco and this of either mis-information or zero information. We have on the one hand the advice spouted by government and on the other hand, a complete lack of information as to the status of filling stations across the country. A website displaying the status of fuel availability at stations across the country would be an ideal way of keeping motorists informed. It could also show prices and perhaps give details of queues or shortages. Well I think it's a good idea. Most of my frustration is born from not knowing.

This week has shown that there is a very fine line separating us from stability and chaos. Any level of disruption to the supply of fuel has a catastrophic effect. Wrongly chosen words by those who should be in control can and will cause panic. Being told not to panic will have the opposite effect. There is no extra capacity or any level of resilience or contingency built into our supply systems to cope with any abnormality. This week has shown that we are unprepared for any level of disruption. I dread to think what would happen if we were faced with a real emergency. I think the country would be brought to its knees.

Whatever comes out of this past week, the message should be that we must find an alternative to fossil fuels. The days of plentiful supply have gone. We cannot continue to be dependent on something we struggle to supply. There has to be an alternative. How we do this, I don't know but the science is out there and the technology exists. But of course it's all about money. I know that. Greed is what keeps us dependent on fossil fuels. Electric and hydrogen cell doesn't make money. The oil giants and governments will lose out. But alternative has to be found and made available if we're going to avoid another more major crippling and devastating repeat of the last few days.

A new entry for the Darwin Awards has to be the case of Diane Hall who thought it would be a good idea to decant petrol in her kitchen with a lit oven just feet away. There can only be one outcome of any such action and the woman concerned is now in hospital suffering 40% burns. Of course this tragic accident is being blamed on Francis Maude and some are even calling for his resignation. I say this was caused by a simple lack of common sense. We shouldn't need to be told not to play with highly flammable liquids.

A shock for British politics this week is the Bradford local election and the landslide win of George Galloway's Respect Party. There has of course been much speculation as to why the mainstream candidates were shunned, but many suggest that Bradford's large ethnic base and support for Galloway's anti-war  policies contributed greatly to the result. Personally, I am not a supporter of George Galloway but I do believe his return to parliament will be a lively addition to the usual debate.

So this week will be remembered by many though some will wish they could forget. We can only hope that those in charge take a serious look at what went wrong and why. But unless there is serious change, it will happen again.

I was going to write about Cornish pasties but I won't. It is too farcical. I'll leave you to look it up and make up your own minds.

Weather Records & Other Stuff

It's certainly turning into a week of note. We have revelations surrounding the donations made to the Conservative Party in return for 'dinner with Cameron'. Fuel tanker drivers are set to strike, possibly over the Easter break. Water levels continue to get lower as much of the UK basks in record breaking temperatures.

In the news, there is speculation that filling stations will run dry and close as there will be nowhere near the number of army tankers needed to maintain a normal service. I my opinion, we are once again reminded of just how reliant we are on this scarce resource and it really is about time a viable alternative was researched and made available. I fear that those living in remote locations, such as myself, will be the most affected as I suspect the emphasis will be on ensuring that larger stations are refuelled. I worry.

Remaining on the subject of fuel, there have been a number of oil thefts in and around Lincolnshire of late. Many homes are not connected to gas or mains drainage due to their rural locations, and are reliant on oil for heating. I know my own parents are and they have a large tank like many others in their garden. I was utterly disgusted to read this morning that over the last weekend, a local school at Holbeach Bank was robbed of their oil supply estimated at 900 litres. Those responsible should simply be removed from society.

I am shocked and dismayed to see that the cost of postage is to increase from April. This will result in a first class stamp costing 60p and a second costing 50p. All this will serve to do is to reduce the number of letters sent and drive more and more to use e-mail instead. I for one will be boycotting the service and I will e-mail or fax instead.

I attended my Tuesday Group this morning as normal. One member of our group informed us they are about to start a teaching course so won't be attending after today. We started with some entertaining word games and discussed various topics including dementia and care for the elderly.

Finally, I am following Amy Jane Smith who runs a blog entitles 'On Performance & Positivity'. Amy is a sufferer of anxiety and depression like myself and writes candidly about how she copes day to day.

Sunny Sunday Roundup

As I write this, the sun is out, the sky is blue and the birds are chirping in the garden. It's a perfect Spring day. We're told this weather is set to continue for some time to come, and there is no significant rain  predicted in both the medium and long range forecasts. Whilst this early Spring may be a good thing for many, the lack of rain in recent months is beginning to have very serious effects for farmers and the production of vegetables. This in turn affects livestock which then pushes up the price of food reaching our supermarkets. Unless we have prolonged heavy rainfall in the next couple of months, this Summer is going to be tough, very tough for many people. There is already talk about water conservation and we could learn an enormous amount from the normal day to day habits of those living in Western Australia for whom drought is a permanent feature of their lives. I for one have begun looking at the water that simply gets thrown away down the drain every day. We waste an enormous amount, most of which can be re-used particularly in the garden.

As if on cue, the good weather always brings out what I perceive to be the worst of society, the idiots and their fast cars, the angry teenagers (and their cars) and the inappropriately dressed - particularly scantly clad teenage girls and grown men in ill fitting shorts and nothing else. In tandem, I also see an increase in mindless littering, the discarded McDonalds containers strewn all over the road, particularly in and around Long Sutton. I witnessed for myself today in Wisbech a passenger tipping their rubbish out onto the road before driving off, in full view of other motorists at a junction. Yes sadly, though the weather is all very nice, I do hate to see this element of our society emerge from their Winter hibernation.

Fuel cost have leapt to an all time high with a litre of petrol locally costing £1.45, a ridiculous amount and a trend that simply cannot be sustained. Unrelated to the cost of fuel, there is impending industrial action taking place by tanker drivers which will affect the supply of fuel to stations around the UK. We read in the news that the army are being trained to deliver fuel in their place in the hope that supplies can be maintained. I think though it is inevitable that some parts of the country will run dry with major queues developing at others.  Any escalation in the Middle East will further increase the price at the pump and restrict supplies with devastating effects for everything we rely and depend on.

Yesterday, many awoke to the news of yet another accident involving a coach. This time it was here in the UK on the M5 motorway and involved a lorry and bus. The accident had occurred in heavy fog when the bus broke down blocking the inside lane. Though details are far from confirmed, we do know that the bus was stationary and was poorly lit, its hazard lights barely visible. One passenger and today the driver of the lorry lost their lives. This is tragic and a needless loss of life. The bus driver has been arrested in suspicion of dangerous driving and it is clear to me that fundamental mistakes were made. My own Passenger Carrying Vehicle training tells me this. Firstly the bus was poorly lit. Though the hazard lights were on, there were no fog lights. Bus lights are notoriously poor, particularly on older vehicles. There was never much importance given to making the vehicle visible though nowadays, there is much greater emphasis by using LED's and lighting strips at varying levels. One thing is for certain, the driver of the lorry would not have seen the bus until it was too late. The other mistake was to leave the passengers seated. As the bus had stopped in the first lane of the motorway, it would not be possible to evacuate the passengers safely to the high verge and away from danger. Instead in this situation, the driver should ensure that all passengers move to the front of the vehicle, the safest place to be in the event of a rear end collision. As far as I know, this was not done and resulted in the death of a passenger. More details will emerge over the coming days, but for me, it is easy to understand how this tragedy occurred. A further tragedy would be to learn nothing from it and apply any lessons learnt to current and future vehicle safety and design.

I was going to finish on the subject of Saturday night telly, but I thought better of it. Some love it and others hate it so at the risk of sparking a debate, I'll leave it there.

Getting Through the Day

I've written before about my struggle with depression and anxiety, and the fact that some days are simply better than others. It's impossible to know how I will feel one day to the next, so I just take each day as it comes and try to get through it. Not working means spending a lot of time alone and it's these times that are the most challenging. The answer is to do things that keep me active and prevent me from drifting into thought - the kind of thoughts that remind me of failure and how I got to where I am now, having been active in the past earning a very good wage and paying my fair share of the bills. To start thinking about these things just sends me into a downward spiral and the result is a depressive bout for me and abject misery for everyone around me.
Thankfully, I've managed to keep myself out of my 'pit of despair' as I like to call it. There is a glimmer of hope that the only real assets I own, my private pension fund, may in some way be used to benefit us now rather than waiting until I'm 55. We really cannot wait that long and frankly we need the money now rather than later on.
I don't know yet if this is possible but I see there are numerous schemes all over the Internet claiming to be able to unlock pension funds. The way they do it is to invest your pension once you've transferred it to them into overseas funds or various other schemes thus making them money. In the meantime, they lend you the money you need and this is secured against your pension. But there are risks, big risks and you could end up paying back far more than you borrow. The same is true with any kind of lending, but with this you are dealing with large amounts of money. So I don't know if this will be possible for us. We are going to see a pension advisor so hope to find out more then.
Some days, despite wanting to do so much and achieve at least something, I end up doing nothing. The enthusiasm I woke up with that morning fizzled out over breakfast or whilst I read the news headlines. These days simply fill me with guilt and regret. Yes I've done things, but nothing practical or beneficial. I may have researched something on the Internet and discovered something I didn't already know, but this is of no benefit to me or mankind. I can't out this newly gained knowledge to any practical use, say to invent something new perhaps. These are zero days and count for very little in the grand scheme of things.
I saw the topic of depression appear on Twitter today. Peter Serafinowicz tweeted about a blog written by a sufferer and also mentioned that he too struggled with it. Again, I'd learnt something new. I had no idea he suffered with depression. When he's on the TV, he's always funny so why should I? But it's the same with all sufferers of depression. We don't wear labels or badges stating that we suffer with it. We don't turn a different colour when the next depressive bout descends. It is hidden. It happens a lot behind closed doors where we can't be seen. By its nature, it's very seldom on display in public. It doesn't travel well.
I don't know if there will ever be a cure. It would be nice if they could produce a tablet that prevented it, but everyone who suffers with depression seem to be different. Different things set them off and different things make them feel better. Some bouts last for a day, others for a week or more. It is far from straight forward and doubt whether fixing it for everyone will be that easy.

In the news, I see that the maniac hell bent on killing innocent men, women and children in France has been stopped. The fact that he was shot and killed by the police will be a comfort to all those affected by his killing spree. Personally, I would have liked to have seen him captured and made to face justice for his crimes, but this was clearly an unlikely outcome given the ferocity of of his attempt to evade capture and I accept that the police had no other option.

We've all been forced to accept the latest budget from our coalition government and the realisation that for many, life will become more difficult than it already is. Those who have worked all their lives and saved for a comfortable retirement appear to be hardest hit and I suspect their collective response will be felt come the general election.