My Son's Away Day

My son is off to London tomorrow. It' his first visit and he's really excited about seeing the sights and a long ride on the train. He'll have a great time. I am though slightly put out that it won't be his parents taking him. I've written about this before, my in-law's generosity. They do the things that my wife and I can't afford to. Of course that's fine and a lot of the places they go to on holiday would never appeal to me at all. But when it
involves my son, I'm just made to feel useless and a bad father. I would love to see my son's face as he stares up at Big Ben or walks across Tower Bridge. I just wish I had the money to spend on a trip to London. But I don't and once again I am indebted to my in-laws for doing the things I should be.

We have had a hosepipe ban imposed on us today. It's not just us, but most of the south-east of the UK as far as Yorkshire. We are now officially in a drought and must begin using water sparingly. If we don't then we are told we will face a crisis resulting in further restrictions and rationing. I'm not actually a hosepipe user. I use a watering can in the garden filled from a water butt that collects rain from the downpipes. It is currently full following the heavy rain yesterday and should last about a week.

A Mad, Mad Week

An extraordinary week and one that will be remembered for all the wrong reasons.

Firstly we had an utter fiasco over fuel supply and comments made by the government that led us all to rush to the pumps to fill our cars. This sudden surge in demand soon caused filling station supplies to deplete and we now have many standing empty awaiting their next delivery.
It is true in my view that the government have handled the situation very badly. Long before now, we have been aware of a likely dispute involving tanker drivers though this in itself hadn't caused the widespread panic we have witnessed over the last few days. The comments made by Francis Maude and others suggesting that we top-up and keep a reserve 'just in case' inevitably led many to rush to the pumps and cause an unsustainable peak in demand.
The government don't need me to criticise their handling of the situation, there are enough already doing so. But a little thought before public statements are made would go a long way in preventing this type of thing from happening.
The situation now is that demand is now decreasing and we should return to a normal level of 'supply and demand'. There are though areas such as mine here in South Holland that will suffer for a few more days to come as filling stations await much needed deliveries of fuel. Locally, all filling stations are without fuel and there is little or no information concerning others in neighbouring towns. This leads me to my main bugbear of the whole fiasco and this of either mis-information or zero information. We have on the one hand the advice spouted by government and on the other hand, a complete lack of information as to the status of filling stations across the country. A website displaying the status of fuel availability at stations across the country would be an ideal way of keeping motorists informed. It could also show prices and perhaps give details of queues or shortages. Well I think it's a good idea. Most of my frustration is born from not knowing.

This week has shown that there is a very fine line separating us from stability and chaos. Any level of disruption to the supply of fuel has a catastrophic effect. Wrongly chosen words by those who should be in control can and will cause panic. Being told not to panic will have the opposite effect. There is no extra capacity or any level of resilience or contingency built into our supply systems to cope with any abnormality. This week has shown that we are unprepared for any level of disruption. I dread to think what would happen if we were faced with a real emergency. I think the country would be brought to its knees.

Whatever comes out of this past week, the message should be that we must find an alternative to fossil fuels. The days of plentiful supply have gone. We cannot continue to be dependent on something we struggle to supply. There has to be an alternative. How we do this, I don't know but the science is out there and the technology exists. But of course it's all about money. I know that. Greed is what keeps us dependent on fossil fuels. Electric and hydrogen cell doesn't make money. The oil giants and governments will lose out. But alternative has to be found and made available if we're going to avoid another more major crippling and devastating repeat of the last few days.

A new entry for the Darwin Awards has to be the case of Diane Hall who thought it would be a good idea to decant petrol in her kitchen with a lit oven just feet away. There can only be one outcome of any such action and the woman concerned is now in hospital suffering 40% burns. Of course this tragic accident is being blamed on Francis Maude and some are even calling for his resignation. I say this was caused by a simple lack of common sense. We shouldn't need to be told not to play with highly flammable liquids.

A shock for British politics this week is the Bradford local election and the landslide win of George Galloway's Respect Party. There has of course been much speculation as to why the mainstream candidates were shunned, but many suggest that Bradford's large ethnic base and support for Galloway's anti-war  policies contributed greatly to the result. Personally, I am not a supporter of George Galloway but I do believe his return to parliament will be a lively addition to the usual debate.

So this week will be remembered by many though some will wish they could forget. We can only hope that those in charge take a serious look at what went wrong and why. But unless there is serious change, it will happen again.

I was going to write about Cornish pasties but I won't. It is too farcical. I'll leave you to look it up and make up your own minds.

Weather Records & Other Stuff

It's certainly turning into a week of note. We have revelations surrounding the donations made to the Conservative Party in return for 'dinner with Cameron'. Fuel tanker drivers are set to strike, possibly over the Easter break. Water levels continue to get lower as much of the UK basks in record breaking temperatures.

In the news, there is speculation that filling stations will run dry and close as there will be nowhere near the number of army tankers needed to maintain a normal service. I my opinion, we are once again reminded of just how reliant we are on this scarce resource and it really is about time a viable alternative was researched and made available. I fear that those living in remote locations, such as myself, will be the most affected as I suspect the emphasis will be on ensuring that larger stations are refuelled. I worry.

Remaining on the subject of fuel, there have been a number of oil thefts in and around Lincolnshire of late. Many homes are not connected to gas or mains drainage due to their rural locations, and are reliant on oil for heating. I know my own parents are and they have a large tank like many others in their garden. I was utterly disgusted to read this morning that over the last weekend, a local school at Holbeach Bank was robbed of their oil supply estimated at 900 litres. Those responsible should simply be removed from society.

I am shocked and dismayed to see that the cost of postage is to increase from April. This will result in a first class stamp costing 60p and a second costing 50p. All this will serve to do is to reduce the number of letters sent and drive more and more to use e-mail instead. I for one will be boycotting the service and I will e-mail or fax instead.

I attended my Tuesday Group this morning as normal. One member of our group informed us they are about to start a teaching course so won't be attending after today. We started with some entertaining word games and discussed various topics including dementia and care for the elderly.

Finally, I am following Amy Jane Smith who runs a blog entitles 'On Performance & Positivity'. Amy is a sufferer of anxiety and depression like myself and writes candidly about how she copes day to day.

Sunny Sunday Roundup

As I write this, the sun is out, the sky is blue and the birds are chirping in the garden. It's a perfect Spring day. We're told this weather is set to continue for some time to come, and there is no significant rain  predicted in both the medium and long range forecasts. Whilst this early Spring may be a good thing for many, the lack of rain in recent months is beginning to have very serious effects for farmers and the production of vegetables. This in turn affects livestock which then pushes up the price of food reaching our supermarkets. Unless we have prolonged heavy rainfall in the next couple of months, this Summer is going to be tough, very tough for many people. There is already talk about water conservation and we could learn an enormous amount from the normal day to day habits of those living in Western Australia for whom drought is a permanent feature of their lives. I for one have begun looking at the water that simply gets thrown away down the drain every day. We waste an enormous amount, most of which can be re-used particularly in the garden.

As if on cue, the good weather always brings out what I perceive to be the worst of society, the idiots and their fast cars, the angry teenagers (and their cars) and the inappropriately dressed - particularly scantly clad teenage girls and grown men in ill fitting shorts and nothing else. In tandem, I also see an increase in mindless littering, the discarded McDonalds containers strewn all over the road, particularly in and around Long Sutton. I witnessed for myself today in Wisbech a passenger tipping their rubbish out onto the road before driving off, in full view of other motorists at a junction. Yes sadly, though the weather is all very nice, I do hate to see this element of our society emerge from their Winter hibernation.

Fuel cost have leapt to an all time high with a litre of petrol locally costing £1.45, a ridiculous amount and a trend that simply cannot be sustained. Unrelated to the cost of fuel, there is impending industrial action taking place by tanker drivers which will affect the supply of fuel to stations around the UK. We read in the news that the army are being trained to deliver fuel in their place in the hope that supplies can be maintained. I think though it is inevitable that some parts of the country will run dry with major queues developing at others.  Any escalation in the Middle East will further increase the price at the pump and restrict supplies with devastating effects for everything we rely and depend on.

Yesterday, many awoke to the news of yet another accident involving a coach. This time it was here in the UK on the M5 motorway and involved a lorry and bus. The accident had occurred in heavy fog when the bus broke down blocking the inside lane. Though details are far from confirmed, we do know that the bus was stationary and was poorly lit, its hazard lights barely visible. One passenger and today the driver of the lorry lost their lives. This is tragic and a needless loss of life. The bus driver has been arrested in suspicion of dangerous driving and it is clear to me that fundamental mistakes were made. My own Passenger Carrying Vehicle training tells me this. Firstly the bus was poorly lit. Though the hazard lights were on, there were no fog lights. Bus lights are notoriously poor, particularly on older vehicles. There was never much importance given to making the vehicle visible though nowadays, there is much greater emphasis by using LED's and lighting strips at varying levels. One thing is for certain, the driver of the lorry would not have seen the bus until it was too late. The other mistake was to leave the passengers seated. As the bus had stopped in the first lane of the motorway, it would not be possible to evacuate the passengers safely to the high verge and away from danger. Instead in this situation, the driver should ensure that all passengers move to the front of the vehicle, the safest place to be in the event of a rear end collision. As far as I know, this was not done and resulted in the death of a passenger. More details will emerge over the coming days, but for me, it is easy to understand how this tragedy occurred. A further tragedy would be to learn nothing from it and apply any lessons learnt to current and future vehicle safety and design.

I was going to finish on the subject of Saturday night telly, but I thought better of it. Some love it and others hate it so at the risk of sparking a debate, I'll leave it there.

Getting Through the Day

I've written before about my struggle with depression and anxiety, and the fact that some days are simply better than others. It's impossible to know how I will feel one day to the next, so I just take each day as it comes and try to get through it. Not working means spending a lot of time alone and it's these times that are the most challenging. The answer is to do things that keep me active and prevent me from drifting into thought - the kind of thoughts that remind me of failure and how I got to where I am now, having been active in the past earning a very good wage and paying my fair share of the bills. To start thinking about these things just sends me into a downward spiral and the result is a depressive bout for me and abject misery for everyone around me.
Thankfully, I've managed to keep myself out of my 'pit of despair' as I like to call it. There is a glimmer of hope that the only real assets I own, my private pension fund, may in some way be used to benefit us now rather than waiting until I'm 55. We really cannot wait that long and frankly we need the money now rather than later on.
I don't know yet if this is possible but I see there are numerous schemes all over the Internet claiming to be able to unlock pension funds. The way they do it is to invest your pension once you've transferred it to them into overseas funds or various other schemes thus making them money. In the meantime, they lend you the money you need and this is secured against your pension. But there are risks, big risks and you could end up paying back far more than you borrow. The same is true with any kind of lending, but with this you are dealing with large amounts of money. So I don't know if this will be possible for us. We are going to see a pension advisor so hope to find out more then.
Some days, despite wanting to do so much and achieve at least something, I end up doing nothing. The enthusiasm I woke up with that morning fizzled out over breakfast or whilst I read the news headlines. These days simply fill me with guilt and regret. Yes I've done things, but nothing practical or beneficial. I may have researched something on the Internet and discovered something I didn't already know, but this is of no benefit to me or mankind. I can't out this newly gained knowledge to any practical use, say to invent something new perhaps. These are zero days and count for very little in the grand scheme of things.
I saw the topic of depression appear on Twitter today. Peter Serafinowicz tweeted about a blog written by a sufferer and also mentioned that he too struggled with it. Again, I'd learnt something new. I had no idea he suffered with depression. When he's on the TV, he's always funny so why should I? But it's the same with all sufferers of depression. We don't wear labels or badges stating that we suffer with it. We don't turn a different colour when the next depressive bout descends. It is hidden. It happens a lot behind closed doors where we can't be seen. By its nature, it's very seldom on display in public. It doesn't travel well.
I don't know if there will ever be a cure. It would be nice if they could produce a tablet that prevented it, but everyone who suffers with depression seem to be different. Different things set them off and different things make them feel better. Some bouts last for a day, others for a week or more. It is far from straight forward and doubt whether fixing it for everyone will be that easy.

In the news, I see that the maniac hell bent on killing innocent men, women and children in France has been stopped. The fact that he was shot and killed by the police will be a comfort to all those affected by his killing spree. Personally, I would have liked to have seen him captured and made to face justice for his crimes, but this was clearly an unlikely outcome given the ferocity of of his attempt to evade capture and I accept that the police had no other option.

We've all been forced to accept the latest budget from our coalition government and the realisation that for many, life will become more difficult than it already is. Those who have worked all their lives and saved for a comfortable retirement appear to be hardest hit and I suspect their collective response will be felt come the general election.

Budget Eve

Firstly, I've added my Twitter feed to my blog. It's constantly updating and provides snippets of my day to day activities and thought on the events of the day. It basically runs as a supplement to my blog.

Tomorrow is budget day here in the UK and we will discover just how much more difficult our caring government is going to make our lives. For some people, things can't get much worse. I heard earlier today on the radio how some are unable to eat properly having to restrict themselves to just two meals a day. Others are unable to travel finding the rising cost of fuel prohibitive. And at my regular Tuesday support group, I heard how life becomes more difficult by the day with benefits just barely covering the cost of basic necessities. So I'll be watching tomorrows budget statement with interest, as will I suspect many around the UK worried about how they will pay for the next week's food, the car repairs, the phone bill, their electricity charges and gifts for their child's birthday. A detrimental budget statement tomorrow will I fear provoke a public backlash as I really feel the majority of people will simply not be able to cope with any more hardship...

Thank you Mum!

It's Mothering Sunday here in the UK and we celebrate today our mums and everything motherhood. We did the visits early today depositing cards and gifts. My son had made his own card at school and I bought for him some chocolates and a cupcake, much of it he managed to eat himself.

My son has just one more week at school and then it's the Easter break for two weeks. I can't believe how quickly Easter has come round again, but saying that the chocolate eggs have been in the shops for months.

I'm still enjoying Tween and I'm tweeting more often. In fact one of my tweets was re-tweeted this morning. It was to do with my purchase of some more records at a charity shop yesterday. It was picked up by a charity group and re-tweeted. I don't mind at all, in fact I was quite chuffed that someone was paying notice to my occasional tweets.

My son won't stop growing. We took him to have his feet measured yesterday afternoon and it transpired his feet have grown a whole size in just a few months. He is now a 1G, forcing us to buy him a new pair of school shoes. It's a shame they can't make shoes that can be extended... it would save a fortune.

OK, short update today. I have to be in a writing mood, and I'm not, but more perhaps tomorrow when my head will hopefully be clearer. I'm definitely coming down with something, I woke up feeling like crap this morning. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow...