Photo of the Day 15

 

We bought a new shower curtain today, and throwing caution to the wind, we plumped for this. I think it looks good. It's certainly different and a diversion from the usual bland patterns and designs. 

It was the first day back at school for my son and all his friends. He was surprisingly enthusiastic and the ordeal I suspect was softened a little by the fact that he could take in one of his favourite toys. He opted for his new digital camera. No sooner had they arrived at school this morning were they whisked off by coach to another federation school in Sutton Bridge to watch a performance of The Snow Queen. Apparently he enjoyed it very much, but can't remember any of it... typical.

We're waiting (wanting) for someone to call. We splashed out an a set of new cordless phones in Wisbech at one of the electrical stores. Deciding to go for a recognised brand, we were fortunate to secure a set of three phones with answering machine for just £49. A ticked beneath them read 'normal price £139.99'. So it looks as if we got ourselves a bargain, though I suspect it is normal retail practice nowadays to foll customers into thinking they've done so.

So all in all not a bad day. The job hunting continues but as the days tick by, we are forced to face the reality of having to go cap in hand to the bank - certainly within the next couple of weeks. It brings me out in a cold sweat just thinking about it, literally...

A New Year & New Toys

It's a Bank Holiday here and we're making the most of the last day of the holiday season here in the UK. Christmas decorations are still up but we're taking them down tomorrow. Everything will seem so bland once they're down and it will really hit home that we've begun a new year. Celebrations here were pretty muted. For the first time in ages, my wife and I saw in the new year together. Normally she sleeps through it. My son wanted to see the fireworks and celebrations in London so I put it on a DVD for him. He's been watching it on his portable DVD player - one of his Birthday gifts.

There's much speculation in the media about what the new year will hold. We're told that the outlook is grim and that the effects of the recession will be more harsh than in 2011. For us, our biggest worry is what will happen to our home once our insurance stops paying out for the mortgage in February. No matter how hard I try to push it to the back of my mind, the stark reality is always there. I'm once again reliant on my wife to see us through whatever befalls us. We will have to meet with the bank in a couple of weeks to make them aware of our predicament and hope that they will take pity on us. I try not to worry, but it's difficult.

My support group have their first meeting of the year tomorrow and I'll be attending as normal. January is well known for bringing on bouts of depression as people come down from the high of the festive season to the reality of work, mounting debts and worry. I'm wondering how the members of our little group have coped. I'm lucky - I have a wonderful wife who makes everything right and without whom I would have nothing, be nothing. She puts up with a lot and I don't appreciate her enough. I know this. Depression is a very selfish illness. It affects at different levels, at different times and in different ways. It is a complicated illness. No two sufferers are the same. I am lucky to have her.

A bit of techie stuff and a welcome addition to our family is the Wii. It has in the last few days changed from being just a gaming console to a fully networked box of tricks which can now play DVD's, music, surf the Internet and interact with other computers. I was always aware that it was capable of far more than just game play so set about finding out how to apply 'Wii-hacks' to get it to do things it doesn't normally do. And I'm mighty pleased with the results. The games for the Wii are hugely expensive so the ability to download new free games is brilliant. Another function I find immensely useful is the ability to view YouTube content without the need to navigate the site. You simply enter what you're looking for and the Wii displays the videos available. You point to the one you want to watch and the video plays full screen, and in very good quality. It's all out there on the Internet.
I do need to find some software to assist my son with his typing and word skills. We bought him a keyboard for Christmas for hom to use on the Wii. It has chunky coloured keys and is built especially with children in mind. 

My wife's employer is popping round this afternoon. It's a New Year tradition. She'll want to see all the new toys my son received for Christmas and for his Birthday on the 27th. So of course the house is spotless in readiness. Unlike most employers, she is more of a friend to us and treats us all very well. She is always very generous and always buys gifts for our son. We're very fortunate really...

My Favourite Gift

By far my most favourite gift is this set of wireless headphones, kindly given me by my sister and her husband. They have a transmitter that plugs into the audio out socket on any device such as a record player, hi-fi or computer. The sound is then broadcast to the headphones allowing you to listen anywhere in the house. They really are wonderful. As I may have mentioned previously, I have quite a collection of vinyl and I like nothing better than listening to them played on my record deck. Previously I would have had to sit in the same room, but now I can sit in the lounge and hear them. What a marvellous invention! And not as expensive as you may think... just £6.99 from those lovely people at Amazon.

Photo of the Day & The Bit In-Between

This represents the remains of Christmas up and down the land. Huge piles of cardboard, wrapping paper and packaging. The by-product of the festive season, and this is ours just before it was collected.

Christmas here was good, very good. Christmas for me was the smell of turkey cooking all night. Lights of all colours. Wrapping paper and sticky tape. The awkwardness of in-laws and family. The forced smiles and wishes of happiness and prosperity. The near-empty roads and closed shops. The pressure to eat everything in sight. The greetings received from strangers in the street. The endless family films, Christmas specials and repeats. The thought that everything has to be taken down and boxed-up for another year, and how on earth we're going to pay for it all.
It's now that bit between Christmas and New Year. It's a strange time, when things are not quite normal yet. Some people are still on holiday whilst others have returned to work temporarily before we celebrate the dawn of a new year. It's an odd time. Of course it's no different for me, as I have no work to return to. Things will return to normal properly next week. The children here go back to school Wednesday and it will be a return to the daily routine of school drop-off and collection. I like routine.For me routine is good.
So we await the new year and everything it will bring, the good and the bad. There are many predictions for what the new year will bring, not all of them good. Only time will tell. But we do enter the new year already in a very uncertain world where anything seems possible. We can only hope for the best. I extend my wishes to one and all for just that...

Christmas Eve

It's that time of the year when we put things on hold and try to forget for a day or two our troubles and worries. For many, this time of year will be difficult. Some will be away from loved ones. Some will be homeless dependant on the kindness of strangers. Some face Christmas without a job and face an uncertain future. Some will endure illness and perhaps the loss of a loved one. Children will wake on Christmas morning without the love of a parent and without the security of a home. For some, for many, this is a difficult time.

It is true that we put things on hold. I am doing just that, trying to suspend my worry about the future and pausing my frantic but futile job hunt. This year, it's all about my son. It's about keeping the magic alive and making his wishes come true. He shouldn't have to see the worry and fear I have inside, and he won't.
I'm not alone. There are thousands who in the last year have lost their jobs, their careers and livelihoods. They are struggling like me to provide, but somehow we all manage. We've begged, borrowed and bargain hunted to do just that. I wonder how things will be next year? Better or worse?

Back to the present and on this Christmas Eve, I raise a glass and extend my best wishes to one and all for a very happy Christmas and prosperous new year!

Photo of the Day 13 and Two More Sleeps

A festive scene at our local garden centre in Spalding. These are real reindeer and quite an attraction for children on their way to Santa's Grotto.

So tomorrow's Christmas Eve... I suppose we're as ready as we're going to be. Tomorrow afternoon will be spent doing the gift round. It's a well practised routine and I normally leave it all to my wife, the brains of the partnership. We've even done all the Christmas food shopping! Wednesday morning provided the perfect opportunity and a relatively empty supermarket in Wisbech. I dread to think what it will be like tomorrow.
The period of Christmas chaos has begun, the roads are getting gradually busier and people are rushing. I noticed it on the roads earlier today. I feel good where I am, away from it all. No shops to fight my way around and no stress of trying to find a parking space.
I don't really feel as festive as I should, though my wife has lit a festive-scented candle which is helping a little. I expect that will come on Sunday when we are joined by my in-laws. The real thrill for me this year will be in witnessing my son open his presents (early) Sunday morning. For me this is the best part of Christmas. I know what he's getting and considering the mess we're in financially, I think we've done bloody well. The thanks of course must go to my wife, without whom nothing would have been possible. And that's no exaggeration.
It was good to see my niece and nephew today. It made it possible for me to steal a few hours peace as I was able to leave my son with them at my parents. They love playing together and frankly my parents are built to withstand the noise and stress of three hyper-active kids, unlike me. I can stand so much before the noise begins to turn to a constant 'white noise' and I need to escape. I think I would have a second breakdown if I were to be entrusted with the care of three Christmas-hyped kids. My blood pressure is increasing as I think about it.

Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a car going through the fence of my parents' neighbour. She has a house on a corner and I have lost count of the number of times a speeding car has left the road and taken down her fence. Yet despite this and countless complaints, nothing has been done to improve the warnings or make the corner safer. This will only be done when a life or two have been lost. For that's the way things work these days. Very sad.

Finally, the weather. It is horrible. Once again, we have a mild Christmas. It is wet, windy and mild. I prefer the snow. Call me old fashioned.

Just two more sleeps...!

Fitting-in

For the first time, I felt genuine support and true friendship at the depression support group I attend each Tuesday. Up to now, I've felt a little awkward, not really understanding how I fit into the group and whether I'm able to contribute anything worthwhile. Today's was definitely the best meeting so far. I really feel that we bonded and that I'm properly part of the group. We discussed a variety of topics. Granted, a lot of it was moaning and groaning about the general state of the country and the world, but we did find that on many issues, we were in agreement. Although it's a support group for people who suffer with depression, it's only rarely that we talk about our illness at any length. Instead, the topics are broad and varied - which is good. For certainly, if we were to discuss our illness at every session, we'd end up feeling worse than when we entered.
So my initial feelings of apathy toward the group have faded away and are replaced by a feeling of belonging. So that's good, really good.