Choo choo's

It's no secret that I love railways. It's in the blood and something I was born with. You can't switch it on and off - the love is either there or it is not. I love the feeling of sitting on a platform and that expectation that a train is somewhere in the distance and on its way. I can sit in stations all day, watching the comings and goinigs, the different trains and absorbing the sounds. At least, I could if I wasn't married. There are certain things you sacrifice when you marry... I am absorbed in a wonderful book I've borrowed from my local library - I'd first seen it in a book shop and promised myself I would one day buy it. It is entitled 'All Change - Visiting the Byways of Britain's Railway Network' by Paul Atterbury. It is beautifully illustrated and explores many of the not so well known and long forgotten parts of the UK's once great railway network. The pictures take you back to a different time when the railways were the primary means of transport, long before the motorcar became a throw-away item. My son has my love of railways also. He's 4 years old and enjoys railways just as much as me. He's happy they are there whereas I also like to know why and how they got there.
British Transport Films are also a wonderful resource which have become almost an institution here amongst lovers of the railway. There were hundreds made - each one a masterpiece in its own right - with lavish budgets and direction typical of a Hollywood blockbuster. GPO Films also give a valuable insight into our bygone railways and there are some wonderful films made that document how our mail was once carried by travelling post offices. Well worth seeking out...

Where do I want to be?

I want to wake in the morning looking forward to the day ahead. I will get ready, don my uniform, grab some breakfast and bid farewell to my wife and son. I will drive to the depot, park the car and collect my running sheet from the office. I will bid a good morning to the others and find my bus. It's had a wash and looks great. The inside has been vacuumed and the washer fluid filled. I carry out my safety checks. It has a full tank of diesel. I enter my bus, putting my bag in the cab and starting the engine. I change the destination and wait for the air pressure to build and the light change from red to green. I feel the bus rise as the suspension levels. We're ready to go. I close the door and I'm off. I run empty to my first stop where I see my regular early morning passengers. They bid me a good morning and I return the compliment. They sit in their usual seats. I drive on picking up people I recognise and those I don't. They are all different, some heading to the shops, some heading to the factory or to see family and others off to catch a train. I may see them later, I may not. But I will see them again - my regulars. The day sails past, just like empty stops. As my shift nears its end, my bus slowly empties as I near my final stop. I'm on-time. I change the display to 'Not In Service' and drive to the depot. I park the bus ready for it to be cleaned and serviced for the following day and take the day's takings into the office with my Wayfarer ticket machine to be tallied-up. I bid a farewell the office staff and head home where my son is waiting for me. He has a new toy he's pushing round the lounge floor - a bus... I look at him and smile.

A rosy glimpse into the future

I've long had a private pension - a couple in fact. I've never paid much attention to them, knowing they are there somewhere but also knowing I can't get my hands on it for many years. So it was quite interesting to find that I could take a look at it online, and I was pleasantly surprised. I now know that we'll be OK when I'm 55. We can do a cruise or buy a new car - maybe a couple if we're lucky. I know that we'll be secure, and that's a good feeling. The problem is of course the here and now - not some rosy future, as my wife brought me firmly down to  earth... She's right of course. The fact is that we're bloody lucky. The company I had given so many years to had paid in to a private stakeholder pension, and they paid well. I can't see that ever being repeated... things have changed.
The weather here today is fantastic. It's amazing the difference a little sun can make. Those who claim that sunshine or lack of it can affect mood, they are right - absolutely right. I know as I've had first hand experience. It's nice to be able to open the doors and windows for a change. We're lucky to live in quite a remote area, so we have little traffic and the only real noise is from the jets on the nearby bombing range. Living in remote locations can sometimes have its drawbacks. The RAF like to play with their toys of war, but it's something we've grown used to. Having lived in London (well just south) for many years from birth, this is a world away from the traffic, the rushing about and the constant noise I was used to. Here, the silence is strangely deafening, you can see the stars - millions of them. The night sky isn't polluted by orange street lights and criss-crossed by holiday jets. It's not paradise, but I like it - it's home.

Thanks but no thanks

So my application to teach IT skills has been knocked back. 'Hugely interesting' and the 'skills are certainly there', but not quite got everything needed to teach. Oh well, another in a long line I suppose.
Back to Plan A then and I am continuing my fight to get my money back so I can continue with my master plan. This time, I have contacted my wife's magazine 'That's Life'. They have a consumer complaints section headed by their 'consumer warrior' Anne Hunt. I did them a brief email explaining how I had paid the £1,140 for the course back in March 2010 and that I am still waiting... Hopefully they will be interested and their consumer warrior will take on my case.
I signed on this morning. This time it was with one of their special advisers. You get pushed up an attention level the longer you remain jobless. The guy was actually pretty good - he took an interest in my past and why I had become jobless. He could see that I was once a high earning IT management guy and that health problems had taken their toll. I explained that I wanted something completely different and wanted to be a PCV driver. It turned out he had an interest in passenger transport like me so we spent some time talking about our mutually favourite subject. This made a nice change and restored my faith in the welfare system here in the UK. Maybe things aren't as bad after all...

Rain and pizza

We had the first significant rain today. It was quite welcome here by the Wash. It can rain half a mile down the road and we can miss it completely. We seem to have our own mini weather system here. At least the car got a wash...
I didn't hear back from the teaching agency I contacted yesterday - I suppose it's too early. I'll give them until the end of the week and then chase. I'm signing-on again tomorrow so at least I can tell them I've applied.
Pizza tonight - it's the real thing. Asda let you make your own and it has a thin base, just the way pizza should be. The best pizza I've ever had was in Yugoslavia, many years ago. It was thin and big - really big. I haven't found one to beat it but I've got close.
The government here today announced that they are re-vamping the disability assessment process. Up to now, it has been a complete sham. I remember being assessed myself by some untrained 'medical assessor' who simply clicked at a checklist on a computer when I was signed-off work with severe depression. I was deemed 'fit for work' and had to then appeal the decision which induced further stress. I've read so many accounts from others who are severely disabled enduring the same treatment and having to appeal. Apparently last year, there were more than 300,000 appeals. Disgusting. But that's how this country is I'm afraid - an I fear it's getting worse.
Hey ho, that's life I suppose... It seems if there's anything wrong with you, you suffer.

Taken the plunge

Yesterday evening, I took the plunge and sent my CV with a covering letter to a teaching agency based in Rutland. I had been debating the idea for sometime and teaching certainly isn't my first choice but it's something I am confident I can do. I explained the fact that for the past nearly 20 years, I have been an IT professional having ended my career in 2009 due to poor health (stress). I could very easily turn my back on my IT career and the skills I've amassed over the years but it may be possible for me to pass on some of those skills to young people or those with special learning needs. I've had experience of this so I am more than confident in the company of disabled people.
It would be nice if I get a response. Most of those I've contacted can't be arsed to reply and it's rare to hear anything back. I'm quietly optimistic, though I'm anxious not to get my hopes up as I've had these dashed so many times in the past. Oh well, it's worth a try...

Crusha gym kittens TV ad

My son has just seen this ad on TV and I think we've watched it more than ten times already. I don't think I've heard him laugh so much!