An Icy Blast

We're being told to prepare for some nasty weather. An icy blast is on its way from the East and from about Wednesday the temperature is set to plummet. There's the real chance of some proper snow too, so it doesn't look as if winter is quite done with us yet. After all, we have had it pretty good so far with one of the warmest winters on record.
We have a new car and my mood has lifted finally. I've actually quite warmed to it. It's a Citroen Saxo, blue and really rather nice. OK it's not the sort of car I would have chosen and it does lack some features such as air conditioning and power steering. But it does have a sunroof and given its tiny engine, it really is quite sprightly. I've driven it a couple of times and it does take a little getting used to, but it's no great hardship.
We've started this week with my wife feeling very poorly. It started last night and she had a very restless sleep waking this morning with aching joints, a temperature and very little energy. As I type this she is lying on the sofa next to me in her Slanket fast asleep. She was to have helped out today at my son's school swimming trip but I had to call them earlier to tell them she was too unwell to attend. There is a nasty sickness and diarrhoea bug doing the rounds at the moment and they've had a lot of children off school because of it.
I'm really hoping I'll hear something this week regarding a couple of jobs I've applied for online. They are local and are both IT Support/Service Desk roles. It's all stuff I've done before so nothing too taxing.
I do feel a lot better than I have done the last few days. I really sank to a very low point and I know it caused my wife a lot of stress and worry. It's hard to explain why it happens and how I feel when it does. It's not something I have any control over though I'm sure people assume it's something I can turn on and off, but I can't. That's not how it works. I wonder sometimes if it would be easier on everyone if I disappear somewhere whenever a bout hits. I know I'm impossible to live with but it's important to me that someone's there for me when I eventually come out the other side. I fear that one day there won't be anyone, and that scares me a bit.
I have my first CBT session tomorrow in Spalding. I don't really know what to expect so I'll keep an open mind. On Thursday, I have an appointment with my doctor. My wife is coming with me this time.