Guilt

I get left 'home alone' quite a lot. Since my car went bang a few months ago, we're reduced to using my wife's little Fiesta. It works fine, but it's seen better days. My wife uses it for work so I'm here on my own a lot of the time. The first few hours are OK - I find things to do and I have chores. I do have an overriding sense of guilt each time I'm left. It's as if I should be somewhere else - pulling my weight and contributing. This is becoming a theme as being a house-husband isn't what I want. I feel inadequate and rarely is there a day when I feel I've accomplished anything of any worth. This blog keeps me occupied to a point. My wife sadly doesn't understand things like this, and if she did, she wouldn't be interested. Pouring your heart out to a computer would be alien to her.
Oh it's just started to rain here - by The Wash. It hasn't rained for ages. There's no washing hanging in the garden so I don't need to rush outside.
My company is the radio. It stops my mind from drifting off to memories of why I'm here stuck at home feeling useless.
Another thing... I've started groaning and grunting when I get up from a chair. That's not a good sign...
I don't get to work on my train set again until Friday. It used to be Thursdays as well but since losing my car, I have to stay at home. It saves fuel - which of course no one can afford at the moment. The train layout is my haven, my place of safety - away from all the nasty things. I can go in there and close the door, put the radio on and I'm in a different world almost - a miniature world that I'm creating. It's wrong that I should shut myself away and hide, but doesn't everyone to an extent? I'll get some more photos Friday as a lot has changed since the last lot were taken.