Memories of now

Being a father to a young boy can either be easy or difficult. It's what you make it. What spurs me on to do the best for my son is how I think he will remember these times in years to come. I know myself, I can remember a lot from my own childhood, some are good happy memories, and others are not. There are trips to the seaside that stand out and walks to the nearby park, where I recall spending a lot of time. My father back then had an allotment which I know he still misses. He used to spend most of his spare time at weekends tending to it and I would often accompany him. I suspect he thought I would take an interest in growing things and that it would stand me in good stead for the future. I didn't and it did not. It seems those things I was forced to enjoy such as gardening and football I simply rebelled against.
I do find myself thinking a lot about my actions and how they will be remembered by my son in the future. I want him to remember good things and to be fond of his childhood. I know he has started to take after me. He has an interest in buses and trains and has confidence to use a computer. He also likes football and thanks to my wife's side of the family, I know the opportunity to develop this will always be there.
He is intelligent and curious, but not overly so. I'm determined not to make him into something. I want him to develop into his own person.

He will start school soon, in fact he begins attending reception classes next week. I know it'll be good for him and that he will enjoy it. But I do so want him to have happy memories of his school days. Mine are so mixed. I was never brilliant and I was never really bad - I sort of sat in the middle much of the time. I was very rarely ever in trouble, except for towards the end of my secondary school days when I went off the rails a little. I actually feared school much of the time and I would pursue any opportunity to avoid attending. Secondary school was a good few miles from home and necessitated a bus journey. This for me was the best part of the whole experience. I would try to stretch it as much as I could by starting my journey far earlier than I needed to. A journey that would take fifteen minutes I would turn into a full hour. Every day as the school bus stop approached I would wish I could stay on the bus and not get off.

I never shout at my son. I have raised my voice a couple of times, especially when he chooses to ignore us. My wife is a lot firmer with him than me. She has shouted at him and I know she has smacked him once or twice - never hard though. My wife always says that he 'gets away with murder' when I'm with him and that I'm 'too soft'. I suppose I am. I remember what a nightmare I was as a child. In my early teens I ran away to London and spent the night on buses, finally ending up at about 2am outside East Croydon Station. My parents had called the police and they coaxed me off a bus and into the back of a police van. I spent the rest of the night in a cell to teach me a lesson to then be driven back home the next morning.

There are certainly times I remember for the wrong reasons. My dad did have a temper and this would be unleashed when he came home from work and upon hearing of my bad behavior from my mum. In a way, it's these bad memories that make me the person I am today - far more cautious and protective of my son and keen for him to never remember any bad times the way I can.
Trips out and about are easier today than they were then. My parents have never owned a car so we would have to rely on public transport to get about. I didn't mind this and didn't really know any different until I was much older. It did though restrict where we could go and when. Nowadays we're able to go practically anywhere and at any time. We take it for granted.

Another thing that's different today from when I was a child is our ability to record details and images of what we do. I'm forever saying what things were like 'when I was your age'. My son will have an enormous record of images, video and text to take with him into later life, to look back on and to share with his children.
With so much already recorded, maybe he won't need to remember so much...